A theOtaku member enters in the blog of his friend in theOtaku. The site is fairly decent, embellished with a simple yet elegant design and served as an online library of his friend's latest misadventures at home and at school. While browsing around the blog, he notices that its latest entry was posted on the year 2006, which is already two years ago. He assumes that his friend might have become tired of posting in the site and decided to abandon the blog. He then makes other suppositions; it might have been a technical problem, a personal problem, or other reasons that were beyond his imagination. And then, something hit him. "Could my friend still be alive?"
It is no denying that in the millions of "dead blogs" present in the Internet, a good number of them have been abandoned because its owner is dead. Dead in the sense that he has passed away, not in the digital life, but in real life. Otaku blogs such as those found in myOtaku and theOtaku are no exception to this.
One such case is ToTo247's Xanga Site*. Its owner was ToTo247, or Simon Ng (Sek Man Ng) in real life. He was a Chinese-blooded teenager taking up a college course in the United States, as well as an anime and gaming fan like most of us here. His blog served as a diary he used to narrate his adventures in life and, from time to time, express his love for anime, gaming, and the digital lifestyle. On May 12, 2005, he wrote another casual blog post detailing the things happening to him at that time. Sadly, it was his final blog post; shortly after making the post, Simon was murdered in his own house by his sister's ex-boyfriend, and Simon's sister would soon meet the same fate. The killer was apprehended by the police using Simon's last blog post. To this day, the blog remains online for everyone to see, and serves as the unintended digital memorial for a guy who, as Adam put it, "would have no doubt made a perfect member of our community".
Simon Ng's death, as reported in theOtaku.com on May 21, 2005. Image retrieved through the Internet Wayback Machine.
From Simon's story, we could grasp the sad fact that there is always a human being behind every online username that we encounter in the blogs that we visit. No matter how much his or her life sounds like a splendid adventure comparable to that of Naruto's or Haruhi's fictional life, we can never take away the fact that he or she is not an anime character but a real person. And unlike fictional anime characters that have the ability to live forever even if its creator decides to make him dead, a real person cannot live forever in the world we live in. When the time comes that he or she passes away, that person remains dead until the end of time. You can always continue to see L as a living person, but you can never do that to a real person.
Simon was somehow fortunate. His death never remained a secret to the online world. It was published in the local newspaper, then to several news websites, and then reaching to the anime websites and forums. His online friends were able to learn of his death and grieve for their fallen peer. Since it involved a fellow anime fan, an outpouring of sympathy was seen from many anime fans around the world. Wherever Simon is right now, he was very fortunate to have received so much compassion and best wishes from a lot of people. The people that knew him in the digital world before the tragedy occurred would also feel a certain sense of security and calmness, since they are now aware that he has died.
Many deceased bloggers, on the other hand, do not have the same experience that Simon had, if it really was an experience in the strict sense of the word. As they depart their earthly lives, nobody came to inform the online world that the blogger is dead. Probably because the cause of death was not something worthy of news, or probably because his companions in real life do not know his blog's password or that the blog even existed. Whatever the reason, the end result is a blog that turns obsolete and oftentimes forgotten by the people. As people stumble upon those particular blogs, they are often left to wonder how the blogger is doing, not knowing for sure if the blogger is still alive. The visitors become anxious as to what has truly happened after the blogger's last post, and will continue to wonder in the years to come. The online friends of the blogger are left with a sense of uncertainty and uneasiness as to what has happened to their pal.
But despite all that, the memory of those fallen bloggers continues to live on in the blogs they left behind. The blog contains the things that has made their lives meaningful and exciting, and serves as a reminder that they were once one of us, a human being that walked in this world.
Now that the season of Halloween has come before us, let us look beyond the pumpkins, the candies, and the costumes, and take a moment of our time to remember our brothers and sisters who have gone to their eternal rest. Let us take a moment of our time to pay tribute to the deceased bloggers who have left us. We may have been aware of their deaths, such as Simon's, or we may never know for sure that he or she has truly left this world. Nevertheless, let us hope that they are now in a better place and that their souls will rest in peace. Because Halloween is more than just a costume party and horror fest; it is also a time for us to pay tribute to the dead.
As for the member who wondered what happened to his friend, he continues to hope that someday his friend will come back. And indeed, his friend did. For not all abandoned blogs have a deceased blogger. Unless if the story behind the abandoned blog is revealed, we should at least have some hope that he or she is still alive.
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*As of October 17, 2013, the Xanga blog is no longer functional because it has been more than 5 years since the user last logged in.
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I dedicate this essay to the memory of all my comrades in the online world who have passed away, especially those who were once a member of theOtaku, myOtaku, and other online communities that I have participated in. I am not sure who they are, but I hope that their souls will rest peacefully.
