The Abduction of Adam G. SomeGuy

It'd only be fair for the organizer of the Halloween Writer's Jam to contribute as well, right?

"The Abduction of Adam G."

There are strange folks met on the internet
Where their faces are zeroes and ones;
They play their games, leaving curses and flames
And vile spelling by the tons.
From peasants to kings, we’ve seen many strange things,
But the strangest we ever did see
Was the tale of a fan near the Valley of Anne,
Her abduction of Adam G…

Now Adam G. hailed from NYC,
Where the people are noisy and rude;
Why he left his nest for the sunny west,
I can only assume for the food.
So one bitter October, allegedly sober,
He took a little trip;
Adam bid farewell to the stress and the smell
And was westward in a zip.

He gave me a call as the frost hit the fall
To say ‘God, how I love this coast!
The people are kind, my faith in mankind
Is restored! Let’s have a toast!’
‘But Adam,’ said I, ‘it’s great you’re not shy
But not all is safe in the OC;
Your town was rough, true, but there’s dangers anew…’
‘Balls to that!’ replied Adam G.

So Adam went clack on the board of his Mac,
And made a new post on his blog;
He typed a note down for the peeps around town
To see who else might fancy a jog.
Done sooner than said, his votaries read,
And offers to run with came through;
But of them, a fan from the Valley of Anne
Came and said “Adam, I’ll run with you!”

Come Halloween day, Adam was on his way
To meet someone whom barely he knew;
And shaming his peers, he donned some cat’s ears
And drew whiskers upon his face too.
Adam still was my friend and I wished no bad end
For a man looking but for some peace;
So out in the cold I walked, bravely and bold,
All wrapped up in a blanket of fleece.

I set to my tasks, asking children in masks
If they’d seen a tall man in cat’s ears;
Though paced as a snail, I picked up his trail
While imagining all my worst fears.
Perhaps he ate first, or was lost at the worst,
Or took a hard blow to the head;
Or worse, could it be that my friend Adam G.
Could possibly even be dead?

I followed the trail, but to no avail,
That Adam was none to be seen;
But in one place in town after looking around,
I met a most interesting teen…
“Your friend, I saw, so allow me to draw
A quick map to where he had walked by;”
I gave a quick twirl and asked him ‘bout a girl,
“Was she with him?” I asked; he said, “Aye.”

I tracked down the fan from the Valley of Anne
And found cat’s ears all crushed in the earth;
I gasped at the sight; it was now fight or flight,
…It was time to prove what I was worth.
With a leap and a roar, I dashed down the door,
And called out to my imperiled friend;
I called out his name, said the cavalry came…
…And I then learned how this night would end…

And there he sat, looking happy but fat,
Content with his new floor-based seat;
“Oh hey,” he called out with a bit of a shout,
“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”
Indeed she was young, but I bit my tongue
As young Measles put right foot to red;
He was not dead, true, nor ev’n caught a flu,
Though Measles had caught him instead…

There are strange folks met on the internet
Where their faces are zeroes and ones;
They play their games, leaving curses and flames
And vile spelling by the tons.
From peasants to kings, we’ve seen many strange things,
But the strangest we ever did see
Was the tale of a fan near the Valley of Anne,
Her abduction of Adam G…

Author
SomeGuy
Date Published
10/31/08 (Originally Created: 10/31/08)
World
SomeGuy: Metropolis
Category
theOtaku.com Fan Words
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