Here's my entry for the January Fan Challenge being held by Sangome. It's pretty darn obvious for people who know me, and people who know the show.

Dear Blue-Headed Egocentric Cat-Faced King,

You’re not the king of me, and you know it! SO STOP TEXTING ME THAT YOU’RE GOING TO RULE ME ONE DAY, OR I’LL SHOW YOU WHO THE REAL BOSS IS.

By the way, I’m really sick of your unreadable mood lately, kitty. But I guess that’s nothing new. And it doesn’t help that the first time we met you ‘accidentally’ tried to kill me. You’re lucky I still even consider you a friend, let alone a lover.

When I gazed from my windowsill that night and saw you materializing in the center of the moonlit sky, my heart stopped… Wait, why am I writing to you like this? It’s not like you’re going to take me seriously. I mean, I wish you’d realize how much you actually mean to me, but apparently you’re too busy trying to kill that strawberry freak who’s got you bent all out of shape. Jeez, why do I even bother trying to be romantic with you? Do you even notice me when I look into your eyes before you run off to do some other moronic mission for that two-faced leader of yours? Probably not; but most people who know you probably wouldn’t be surprised at that either.

Even though you completely destroyed my house the first time you came to my town, I forgave you and waited to once again see the psychotic grin on your frivolous face. You know what that means, right? And I watched you the entire time you fought on the street below, and in the dark skies above. I’ll admit at first I was terrified. Never in my life did I expect to meet a man like you, fighting someone who I thought was just another weirdo at school… But the more I watched you, the more I realized there was more to you than meets the eye. And that became even truer when we came back here together, and you transformed into that… animal. You shocked me, and I’m pretty sure you could tell by the look on my face. But what did you do afterwards? You reassured me, and promised you’d never hurt me. Ahhh… Whatever, back to what I was trying to tell you…

I LOVE YOU, DAMNIT! Are you oblivious?!

And I swear to God if you’re sneering at the paper, about to laugh, I’ll come over there and kick you right into next week. I’m not kidding. I know I was intentionally taken with you as a hostage and all, but come on. You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way after all those times we spent together. Don’t you remember sneaking out late at night to go sand sledding? Or when you killed those two guards of mine because they tried to sexually harass me? Are you telling me you didn’t do that out of feelings you have for me? You didn’t even NEED to bring me with you as a hostage. There’s no way anyone in the real world would’ve believed me about some flying blue-haired man with a hole in his stomach. Oh, and not to mention the fact you literally came OUT of the sky. But you took me anyway, and then what did you do? You isolated me to YOUR quarters. Not the prison quarters like most other hostages would likely be taken to, but YOUR quarters. And, you don’t let anyone touch me. Like I said before, those two guards… Even though they were put there by your bastard of a master (or whatever you consider him), you killed them because they were threatening me personally. I’d call that being more than a hostage, sweetheart.

And yeah, I know you’re all busy and crap right now with that orange-headed freak again, trying to kill him or whatever… Blah blabbity blah. I just seriously hope you read this and come back to me with a legit response. Even so much as a giggle and I’ll kick the crap out of you. Please come back safe though, I don’t know what I’d do if you came back with injuries worse than the last time. You’re pretty damn lucky that chesty broad with the emo freak fixed your arm and your ‘status’. I’ll be here waiting for you, playing checkers with the grinning maniac. Does he always have that same expression on his face? It’s freakin’ creepy as hell. Oh, and you’re still not my king. Not yet at least.

Your one and only (I hope),

Kimmeh