One Year Ago Tohma2004

Spoilers: Haven’t seen all of X the series? Then this probably won’t make much sense or you will be spoiled for the end of it. Be warned.
Content: Subaru + Seishirou Shonan Ai
I do not own any of the X characters though I wish I did ^_^

Title: One Year Ago

Subaru’s eyes were closed but he knew that the sakura flowers were falling all around him. He could just feel them floating delicately to the ground. He opened his eyes, both of which were perfectly normal and functioning properly, completely unscarred. He looked over his head at the pink ceiling above him. It was beautiful, the sakura always were at this time of year. Subaru looked down at the pink carpet beneath him and was almost afraid of walking on it. He didn’t want to disturb the stillness of those soft petals.

Subaru reached out and put his right hand lightly on the trunk of the nearest tree and closed his eyes once again.

Do you know why the sakura blossoms are pink

He didn’t then, but he does now. He knows all too well why the sakura blossoms are pink. It was the first lesson he would learn from that man. The significance of that first meeting didn’t hit Subaru until the day his sister was killed. How strange that he had been able to live near his hunter without even knowing it. Was he naïve or just blind? No, it was neither. Subaru had no way of knowing that that man was the same that he had met when he was so young.

They feed on the blood of the corpses below…

He could still hear his voice, even though it had been almost two decades since those words had been spoken to him. Subaru took his hand away and looked at the glowing star on his hand. It was still visible even though the man that had given him that mark was dead. Subaru didn’t mind though. It helped him remember; he never wanted to forget him. Subaru walked slowly down the sakura path.

Isn’t your wish to kill me?

Subaru stopped short as he heard those final words. Maybe it was his imagination but it seemed as if those were actually spoken. It was as if the wind had actually carried those words to his ear instead of his mind just reliving them. Those were some of the last words that man had ever spoken to him. Subaru was sure that he had just heard them somewhere outside of his mind. That they had actually been said by someone near him. He looked ahead of him and gasped in shock as he saw a black trench coat flapping slowly in the breeze. A cigarette was in one hand of the man and his face was covered by dark sunglasses.

“Seishirou…” The words were mumbled, choked back in Subaru’s throat. The man lifted his hand up as if beckoning Subaru to him. “Seishirou…” Subaru took a few steps forward and reached out to the figure. As he did so the man disintegrated into a flurry of sakura petals and was gone from sight. Subaru collapsed to his knees as he felt his body go weak.

~~~

The alarm was a harsh wake up as it beeped incessantly into Subaru’s right ear. He sat up and reached over, turning it off calmly. The top half of his body was bare and he felt a small chill run up his spine as he sat there. “A dream…” Subaru looked out the window and put his right hand over his blinded right eye. “I haven’t dreamed since the final battle…”

Subaru lowered his hand and looked at the time. 11:00AM. Time to get up. He stood and walked straight to his closet. He pulled out a black t-shirt and pulled it over his head and down over his chest and stomach. He changed out of his pajama pants and into a pair of black dress pants. He had dressed all in black since the final battle. It wasn’t so much as a symbol of mourning as it was a symbol of remembrance. He wanted to remember the two people that he had loved that were taken by the confrontation between the two sets of dragons.

Subaru looked at his calendar at the date. It was circled in black but no words were within the square. No words were needed, he knew what it meant. It had been a year ago that day that he had killed Seishirou.

Isn’t your wish to kill me?

The words rang through his head again. It had been such a strange dream. He had never really wanted to kill Seishirou. He loved him too much to ever do that. He had been furious over the death of his sister, but he could never hate Seishirou enough to kill him. Subaru had wanted to be the one killed, to have his life ended in just they way Hokuto’s was, by the same man that had taken hers. He didn’t think he could live if they were both dead, but someone had helped him. He had developed feelings for another person and that person had given him the strength to go on, even after his battle with Seishirou. It was for them both that he wore all black now.

Subaru walked out of his apartment and towards the place where the sakura were blooming. He had been planning this for many weeks now. He would spend the anniversary under the tree where he had first met Seishirou.

The lane was just ahead and it was beautiful as the pink trees reached their branches towards the bright blue of the sky. The day had dawned nice and warm and it seemed nice weather for an anniversary, no matter what it was for. Subaru entered the lane and walked for a few minutes until he was surrounded on all sides by the trees, the entrance and exit unseen from where he stood.

Subaru reached his right hand to the nearest tree and winced in pain as soon as he touched it. The star on his hand glowed brightly and seemed to seer into his skin. He removed his hand and took a step back. He looked at the bright star in confusion. It had never done that before. He rubbed the back of his hand trying to make the pain go away but it just continued to hurt. It had changed into a throbbing and it felt like the star was going to rip right off of his hand.

It took several minutes but eventually the pain subsided. Subaru didn’t chance touching the tree again. He took a few steps back and looked around him at the falling sakura. It was raining pink petals just like in his dream and as they floated around him he couldn’t help but feel sad about what this day. He was over their deaths now, the two men he had loved and his sister. He had sworn to himself that he would never feel sorrow over it again.

The wind picked up and blew Subaru’s bangs back from his face and the black trench coat around his legs. He shivered a little but he wasn’t cold. He listened to the breeze blowing through the leaves and the branches as they gently hit against each other. There was no one else in the area and he felt that was a little strange. Subaru walked down the pathway a little letting his mind wander over the fond memories of his childhood. Most of them had been happy. The times with his sister and Seishirou were the best memories that Subaru had. He would have given anything to go back to that time. To go back to when he was more then just a thing in Seishirou’s mind. No, that’s wrong. Subaru was always just a thing, but Seishirou never let him know that. He put on a mask and deceived him so that he could kill him when the time was right. Subaru wasn’t sure Seishirou ever told him the truth about anything. Not even those final words that were whispered into his ear one year ago. Subaru would probably never know the truth, but that was the type of man Seishirou had been. He cared for no one and even to the very end he tormented Subaru.

Do you know why the sakura blossoms are pink…

The words came to Subaru’s ear and he stopped abruptly. There was no mistaking the fact that they were actually spoken. Subaru tried to calm his heart which was trying to leap from his chest. Hundreds of people could know that story. It was probably just some random person that was nearby. Subaru closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He didn’t think the anniversary would affect him this much. He started to walk again trying to make himself think of other things. His mind kept traveling back to Seishirou though. He thought about how he had always been so nice to him, how he had driven him to jobs, the way he had smiled, the intelligence in the eyes…or after the accident, eye. Everything about Seishirou had entranced Subaru when they were together, but Subaru had never understood his feelings and had tried to stay far away.

Subaru-kun is just so cute…

Subaru spun around and tried to look for the voice. It was that familiar deep voice that had haunted his conscious and unconscious mind for years. He would never forget that voice, and now it was calling to him again. Attaching that childish degrading title to his name just as he had always done before. Only Seishirou called him that and it was his voice that he had just heard. He was positive of it. Subaru didn’t know how it was possible but Seishirou was here. He knew it.

Subaru-kun…

The voice was coming from behind him and it was close. Very close. Subaru turned around once more and his breath caught in his throat as he saw him. The black trench coat blowing in the wind, the cigarette held loosely between his fingers, the dark sunglasses, all like the dream. “Seishirou…” Subaru could barely speak and he wasn’t entirely sure he had spoken. “A ghost..”

Subaru put his hands together with his index fingers pointed to the sky. He had to vanquish this spirit from the sakura lane. He couldn’t let Seishirou haunt him or the people that wanted to enjoy this area. He hesitated, wanting to believe it wasn’t a ghost, wanting the man before him to be real. He started to chant hoping it would send the spirit away from here without much of a fight. Fighting Seishirou once had been enough. He couldn’t bring himself to do it again.

“Subaru-kun, that isn’t necessary. I’m not here to harm you,” Seishirou lifted the cigarette to his lips and took a long drag from it before blowing the smoke out and taking a few steps forward. “You’re so cute when you are doing your incantations.”

Subaru hesitated again but didn’t lower his hands. He seemed so alive, but how could it be true? He had killed Seishirou with his own hand. “Seishirou…”

A smile was on the man’s lips as he stopped just before Subaru. “I do love it when you say my name Subaru-kun.” He raised the hand without the cigarette to Subaru’s face and stroked his check softly.

Subaru gasped as he felt Seishirou’s touch. “You’re alive…” He couldn’t believe it but the touch was warm. The hand caressing his cheek had the warm blood of life flowing through its veins. The fingertips were soft against his skin as they traced his cheekbone. Subaru lowered his hands slowly. “Have you come to kill me?” He wasn’t sure he really wished that anymore. He had in the beginning but now that Seishirou was here, he didn’t want to die. The hand dropped from his face and Subaru felt sadness as it did so. He wanted to be held, touched, loved by Seishirou more than anything.

“The fight is over. I have no reason to kill you.” Seishirou leaned forward and brought his mouth very close to Subaru’s ear. “I meant what I said before I died.”

Subaru’s mind flashed back to his final moments with Seishirou. He had been this close, his voice whispering in Subaru’s ear. Subaru had held Seishirou to him, too shocked and frightened to let him go. The blood, Seishirou’s blood, staining his hand and his coat as it continued to flow from the wound through his heart. Subaru could see it clearly, as if a movie was being played in his head, recounting the events. He was living it again and the pain of what was happening filled him again, as if he too was replaying the action.

“I really did love you…” The words once again echoed through his head, making his heart stop in his chest. How long had he wanted to hear those words come from Seishirou? Only to get them just as the man’s life faded away in his arms. Now he had heard them again, and Seishirou was very much alive in front of him.

Seishirou stepped back and cupped Subaru’s chin in his hand. Subaru had tears in his eye as he looked up into the sunglasses of the first man he had ever loved. His reflection stared back at him and he saw how pale he was. The fake eye dry, but his good eye allowing tears to flow down his cheek. His mouth was open slightly and he looked both terrified and shocked. Seishirou slowly removed his glasses and his one good eye stared deep into Subaru’s one good eye.

Subaru still couldn’t believe he was here. “How? How is this possible?” Subaru reached his hand up and touched Seishriou’s chest. He was wearing the same dark suit that he had always worn as the Sakurazukamori. Nothing had changed since that day one year ago. But now there was no whole through Seishirou’s chest, no blood dripping to the ground, no crumbling kakkai. It was only the pink of the sakura blossoms, and two very alive men.

“A young dragon made a wish. He wanted everyone to be happy. He brought me back to you.” Seishirou smirked as he slid his free hand around Subaru’s waist and pulled him closer. “Have you been cheating on me Subaru-kun?”

Kamui had done it…that was all Subaru could figure happened. Somehow Kamui had wished his happiness. The tears spilled down Subaru’s cheeks as he thought about the boy that had meant so much to him. The only other person he would have thought about spending the rest of his life with.

“Never Seishirou…I was yours from the first day we met.” Subaru meant it to. He had always loved Seishirou, he had just recently realized it. He had loved Kamui too, but he never would have been able to take the place of this man. This man that had never once held him like he was now. This man that had he had never felt the kiss of. This man that he had never once felt truly loved by.

“That’s good to hear Subaru-kun.” Seishirou lowered his lips to Subaru’s and kissed him softly. Subaru closed his eyes and melted against him. The kiss felt so good and he never wanted it to stop. He wrapped both arms around the waist of the man that he wanted to hold forever. Everything seemed so perfect in Seishirou’s arms, just as he had always known it would.

Seishirou broke the kiss and Subaru whimpered unhappily and placed his forehead against Seishirou’s chest. He couldn’t see the smile on Seishirou’s face, or the kindness that it now held. Subaru did feel the hand stroking his hair slowly and tenderly. “Shall we go home now Subaru?” Subaru immediately noticed the lack of the -kun from his name and he smiled as he nodded into Seishirou’s chest. Tonight he would feel how much he was loved by this man.

Subaru moved away slowly and looked up at Seishirou. Seishirou put his arm around Subaru’s shoulders as they walked out of the lane and towards Subaru’s apartment. He silently thanked Kamui for this gift and he hoped that the young man was happy where he was as well. Subaru rested his head against Seishirou’s shoulder and they walked in silence all the way into the apartment.

THE END…or is it?

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoyed this! I was thinking of making it longer but that would include much angst and a few more characters making an appearance. Thanks for reading!

Author
Tohma2004
Date Published
03/31/09 (Originally Created: 03/26/09)
World
Tokyo Tower
Category
X Fan Words
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