I posted this in three parts...it's so long, I couldn't fit it all in one part.

I have no "spiritual abilities" in this fanfic, just to warn you. I can't see Hollows or anything like that. Keep that in mind.

Inkheart is not mine. It was written by Cornelia Funke. Bleach isn't mine, either, for that matter.

I hope you enjoy this and actually find it funny
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I ran my finger along the dusty spines, the embellishment bumping against my skin as I searched for the book I wanted. Finally, I caught a glimpse of its gold embellished title among the sea of books. “Finally,” I muttered to myself, wedging it out from between the massive volumes on either side. “Inkheart.”

I made my way over to the overstuffed couch at the end of the towering row of shelves, plopping down with a sigh and cracking open the book. Apparently, nobody had read it in what must have seemed like eons, even though the book itself wasn‘t that old. But this wasn’t really a surprise to me. Not many people had ever visited the old Karakura Town library in the first place, and since the new library had opened downtown, it had become a virtual ghost town.

Except for me. I loved it here. It was so quiet, so peaceful, so serene. Walking into the library from the hectic hustle and bustle of Karakura Town was like walking into another dimension. It was my favorite place in the world to spend a lazy afternoon.

I was jolted from my book and back into reality by the shriek of the librarian. My nerves buzzed with electricity as I sprinted through the maze of bookshelves, my copy of Inkheart tucked clumsily under one arm. I skidded to a stop in front of the checkout counter, panting. I took a minute to catch my breath; what I saw in front of me wasn’t exactly what I would classify as an “emergency”.

The librarian didn’t even register my presence. She was too busy attempting to pull clumps of her sparse hair from her skull and climb backwards over the counter at the same time. She never taking her eyes off of the small black cat, which was purring comfortably from its seat on the counter.

Yeah. A cat. And this was no street-toughened, one-eyed, raise-the-hair-on-the-back-of-your-neck alley cat, either. I’m talking about the image of kitty-like adorableness, with a long swishing tail, a rather large pair of fuzzy ears, and big round golden eyes. I stepped forward hastily, an undoubtedly goofy-looking grin spreading across my face as I reached towards the cat.

“DON’T!” the librarian shrieked. I froze, the electricity fizzling in my veins as it fought to find a way out. The librarian’s eyes were still glued to the little black cat. “It’ll hurt you! Black cats are supposed to be the animal version of a martial arts expert. Like an animal Shinigami. It’ll bite you, and you’ll get rabies, and then I’ll have to call an ambulance, and they’ll bring you to the hospital, and you’ll die, we’ll all die, WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” With this, she burst into tears.

I raised an eyebrow. had always known the librarian was crazy, but I had never realized she was this crazy. I was now pretty sure that this was how she had scared so many of the avid readers of Karakura Town away. “Ummm…I’m gonna take the cat,” I bundled the purring animal in one arm, “And I want to take this book; should you check it out before I go?”

A strangled gasp of fear broke through the librarian’s sobs. “NO! Don’t come near me with that devilish little monster. Don’t even bring that book back. I don’t want to even touch it again. Nobody ever even comes in here anymore an…AHHH! LOOK! LOOK! IT WINKED AT ME! THE HORRIBLE LITTLE MONSTER WINKED AT ME!” The librarian crumpled in upon herself, sobbing.

“Okaaay,” I said slowly, backing towards the door. I felt kind of bad for her, but I was in no mental condition to figure out how to help. Besides, I had the cat. “In that case…I think I’m going to give you some time to deal with your fear of cats…bye.” With one final push and a last glance at the still-hyperventilating librarian, I stepped out into the sun-drenched air.

“Whew,” I said to no one in particular. “That was…chaotic. And kind of creepy.” The little black cat mewed in agreement, blinking bright gold eyes up at me. Wow, I thought to myself, staring at the magnificent creature. It’s almost like he can…understand me. Like he’s almost...human.