do believe, darling that once you lose something over and over, your soul dries.....
when the dystopia, or lets keep in in this tone, Disorder Heaven, is the type of world you live in, you get to see and feel some things you never thought you would
read James Orwell's Nineteeen Eighty-Four to see a sci-fi shard of world i get to see; if he over-fantasized with his vision, was for literary purpose, but has elements of biting truth
do also consider i fight with mast and present and i can't look into the future, demo, i am floating and that's all
nothing dies, it transforms, therefore, i survive
thanks for the dedication
and i didn't even refer to any suicidal hints; that's no sollution, it's just a painful and true perspective.....also, read Sylvia Plath's poems; her strong works might give to the faint hearted heart attacks
you've seen another part of me-----i say to everyone envying me, it's nothing to envy, i am nothing worthy, but i stay true, very true, too true; it might be a defect of my sign: libra, and after the chinese signs, monkey~element, water; fits me perfectly; and after blood types, i don't know, but after traits, typical blood type B

nee, told you i'm a freaky type