I was depositing money at my ATM when a guy walks in. He moves toward the trash bucket adjacent to the machine, opens the lid, and heaves the entire bag of thrown-away ATM receipts into his arms
He exits and jumps into a sedan, which speeds off, another driver at the wheel.
When I finally realize what happened, it was too late, the car was gone...I could have been a hero 
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Here's what MIGHT have happened:
The guy jumps into the sedan, which starts to drive away.
"HEY!" I yell.
I kick the door of the ATM room open and run like the T-1000 from Terminator 2 chasing after the sedan.
"GO! GO! GO!" yells the ATM thief
I catch up to the sedan and launch myself onto its roof. The sedan swerves from left to right, trying to shake me off
I kick my legs over the side of the car and smash them through the passenger window. My legs wrap around the ATM thief's neck and pulls him out of the window and onto the roof of the car. We're leaning low, face to face, trying to keep balance as the car enters the highway
"You're crazy, you're CRAZY!" he yells, clutching the bag of ATM receipts
"And you're OTAK0WNED." I reply
The ATM thief races toward me, back bent forward and head down. Just then a news helicopter swoops in to film the battle.
In one motion I stomp onto the thief's back, grab the bag of ATM receipts, jump many feet into the air and hoist myself onto the helicopter's legs
The helicopter ascends and its pilot gives me a thumbs-up. I watch as a police blockade stops and arrests the two evil-doers.
Maybe next time...
