I don't know if you want to call this depressed post or what, but it's been a thing that I've wanted to explain for a long time and just trying to come up with the right words for it was the hardest part.
Why do you role play?
It’s fun
It’s enjoyable
It lets me meet new people
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It’s needed
It helps
It’s an escape
I need an escape…Even if I don’t look it. Even if I never seem to show it…I need an escape from myself, from my memories, from everything.
I want to escape to another world and be someone who I’m not, but who I actually am at the same time.
Rping helps express things that one would normally keep hidden from others. Rping let’s you go back and re read what happened. It let’s you take an outside look on your problems. It helps analyze if you can…it lets you escape…
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Shouldn’t you talk to someone?
I can do it myself. I’ve done it before. I’m stronger then you think.
But things that worked the first time around might not work this time.
I’m aware. That’s why it’s different things that I’m doing this time. I am my OC’s and my OC’s are me. They represent a different part of me. Each has their own bad habit which is one that I possess. They develop their own story and own relationships with each other while still keeping that bit that is still me.
Just like everything else, they have a back story. It’s just up to their parents aka you the creator of the character to help them tell it.
That’s what I do. It’s one of the things I love. I’ll never give up on solving things on my own. That’s how I was taught, that’s how I was raised. How do you think books are written? How do you come to love these characters that go on an adventure? They are all OC’s of the author. They all started as a representation as the author or representations of something or someone important in their life. These characters that we know and love, that we share with others, they are an escape. My OC’s are my escape.
When I ask to RP it doesn’t mean I’m necessarily bored, that may be some of it, but the biggest thing is because I feel myself falling and I need an escape…This is why I role play.
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These questions have been asked before. Or it's been an underline questioning look when I talk about some of me OC's to someone I don't normally talk to.
Normally I just switch off the emotions, I switch off the pain and I smile and act like everything's alright. No one can tell what's the real me and what's the mask I'm showing you.
Well that's what I thought anyways.
There's only a few people that can see through my mask. They shatter it, they shatter my wall. They come through and hold me tight. Even when they don't realize they're doing it. Being able to talk endless hours about stupid things that doesn't even involve our OC's. Taking hours of breaking down and analyzing things I've written, showing me the symbolism and the conflicts that my character's go through internally and opening. Talking while their drunk or tipsy and giggly, even when their words make no sense at all. I some how figure out what they mean.
These people keep me sane. They pull me out of the darkness and hold me tight. They make me laugh; I don't feel alone, I feel like I belong...Thank you.
