Have noticings some things I decided this was in need to be written. ~Pein

1. Anything yaoi-related is strictly prohibited from the base.
2. None of the Akatsuki are gay.
3. Itachi is not a girl.
4. Neither is Deidara.
5. Or Sasori, no matter how funny it is to think so.
6. Kakuzu is not a drug dealer, nor is Zetsu made of weed.
7. Konan is not a whore, and I will gladly kick the ass of anyone who thinks so.
8. Tobi in no way resembles Darth Vader.
9. Nor are my six bodies of Pein to be considered his Clone Troopers.
10. The Bijuu are not Pokemon, so please refrain from singing the Pokemon theme song on missions.
11. Even if we are trying to "catch 'em all.
12. We will not be addressed as "Team Rocket".
13. Hidan is not a vampire, even if his hairstyle resembles Dracula's.
14. Sasori is not a drug addict.
15. Even if he looks like one.
16. Refrain from glomping others, as it may be dangerous to your health and well-being.
17. Do not refer to Tobi as "Tobi-sama"or "Leader-sama". Especially not in front of me.
18. Tours of the Akatsuki base to Konoha shinobi are not allowed.
19. Be careful what you say to Zetsu, as he may end up argueing with himself for hours.
20. Do not interrupt Kisame when he is eating. It makes him grumpy.
21. None of the "Akatsuki Pick-up Lines" shall be mentioned or said while in the base.
22. Do not give Tobi coffee if you know what's good for you.
23. Or Pixie-stix.
24. Kisame is not to be referred to as "Jaws", "Fish Boy", or "Sushi".
25. In response to many Youtube videos, Itachi is not an "emo kid".
26. Nor has Deidara ever worked at Burger King.
27. Sasori indeed had a Speak n' Spell as a child, but do not mention it to him, as it gives him nightmares.
28. Deidara is not a "candy man".
29. Nor is Itachi a "superstar", no matter he wishes he was.
30. Snakes are not allowed in the base, as it attracts..."unwanted company". (JK orochimaru.)
39. Itachi's Uchiha senses are not tingling.
40. Do not get Kakuzu mad, as we can no longer afford paying medical bills.
42. Kakuzu in no way resembles Ebenezer Scrooge or Eugene Krabs.
43. Do not try to eat Tobi, he is not a lollipop.
45. Be wary when you choose to take sides with one of the Akatsuki’s artists.
47. Do not steal and/or try to use Deidara’s clay; if it blows up half the base you will be responsible for reconstruction fees.
48. None of the Akatsuki resemble Harry Potter characters, and will therefore not be addressed as such.
49. Except Orochimaru. He looks like Voldemort and he knows it. (Blame kishimoto, Orochimaru)
50. Do not steal Kakuzu’s wallet. ‘Nuff said.
51. Sasori does not keep his organs in jars beside his bed, and must not be asked such questions.
52. The Akatsuki are not male strippers
53. no matter how much it may seem so.
54. Watering Zetsu does not make him grow, it only gets him angry.
58.Challenging Itachi to a ping-pong match will only lead to your own undoing.
59. If you value your life to any degree, do not disturb Sasori while he is building his card towers.
60. Strip poker is not allowed on Game Night.
63. We are indeed the champions. Singing the song is not necessary.
64. Do not put strings on Sasori.
66. Tobi, listen closely: Clay is NOT porridge.
67. Itachi is allowed to sleep late. Do not question that.
68. Do not use any flame-producing products near Sasori, he is highly flammable.
69. Kisame is not “the Rainbow Fish”.
70. Hidan is not the Grim Reaper.
71. No matter how intresting that would be.
72. Yes, we eat ramen here. This in no way makes us similar to Naruto Uzumaki.
73. Itachi is not a pimp, even if he wishes he was one.
74. Nor are any of the Akatsuki his “bitches”.
75. Do not allow mirrors near Tobi, as he believes he is being sucked into another dimension.
76. We are the dark side, and yes, we have cookies, but is it really necessary to keep saying that?
76b. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?
77. Caramelldansen is permitted on Game Night only..
80. We do not resemble the Ouran High School Host Club in any way.
81. Even though we are in the OtakuHostClub.
82. Nor do we resemble Sailor Scouts.
83. We are not gangsters, so please stop talking like that.
84. Do not mention the Mafia or Al Qaeda here. We are ten times better than they will ever be.
85. Even though our long term goal can be considered “world peace”, we are in no way “hippies”, and are not to be referred to as such.
86. Kisame is not a cannibal. The only time he ever ate shark, we tricked him into doing it, and he promptly vomited after being told.
87. Alcohol is strictly prohibited from the base, especially near Hidan.
89. It is Itachi’s job to make prank calls to Otogakure, as he is the best at impersonating a Girl Scout. Do not ask why.
92. Itachi does not want "Fabulous"
93. Do not go into Tobi's room, or he'll lock you in and ramble about randomness until your head explodes (Not my fault)
94. Do NOT, and I mean NOT!!!! eat Itachi's dango. You'll go through 72 hours of torture.
95. Do not call (1) Itachi "weasel", (2) Sasori "Pinnochio", (3)Deidara "Ino", (4) Kakuzu "Cheap bastard", (5)Hidan "Christian", (6) Kisame "Fish", (7) Zetsu "Vegetable", (8) Pein "Yondaime" (9) Tobi "A bad boy" (10) Konan "b****, w****, or anything like that"
The breaking of these rules will result in writing unnecessarily long apologies to both Pein and the person of whom the rule is about. You have been warned!