Run down

Well..I never been much of a blogger, but i always wanted to try so here i go. ill go into details about myself as i continue to post, right now i just feel like getting the pain out of my chest. About 5 months ago i had a falling out with my best friend and i haven't felt the same since. I dont know what went down...she stopped communicating with me..her mother was very cruel to me and i was just beside myself constintly. I then noticed she had deleted me from facebook which was just a total WTF moment. I got upset with her and she ignored me until her mother kicked me out on my ass without a single one of my possessions or a place to live. I slept in walmart 2 nights in a row because i hadn't found a good place to lie yet. I finally did and that night i lost my job... once again in my life everything was going down hill. the guy that was gonna rent out a room to me went ahead and let me stay cooking and cleaning for rent. I wanted to talk to my friend again i was missing her and was really in the need to just talk to her about stuff..she was great for listening, she understood a lot too. instead i got a lot of nasty angry messages from her...saying "i'm quite frankly very, very disappointed in you. I could not believe you gave my family utter disrespect. We tried our best in everything to help you and what did you do? We've all let you go and let you yourself lead your own way. Learn more and be a better person. I'm still pissed at what you've done. Not only did I feel back stabbed like fucking crazy I also felt disrespect." I was in complete and utter shock, when did i ever disrespect them or back stab her...she was like a sister to me and even though she refuses to make eye contact with me when i do see her i still love her. I know her family is asian and i dont understand their culture that well but if i was disrespectful please let me know...when i tried to reason with her and ask for an explaination, she told me to leave her alone and that she was done with everything that had to do with me....i admit i cried when i read that...but i dont know what to do, im still stuck on the fact that we are friends...i smile at her when i see her and i dont show her any form of a grudge for being turned out like i was....i had boughten her a ring that she really wanted for her birthday which was in december...i still have it because i was never able to give it to her....id like to know she'll accept it when i go to her graduation...yes im gonna go...i feel some what obligated...i dont know...im in college im in a decent living condition...i have a boyfriend that loves me and will do anything for me...but i feel like im missign something from my life...and when i see her... i know its her friendship.......