Chicken Soup For the Bad Touch Trio Soul

[A/N: This is a collection of short fanfics centering around my IRL Bad Touch Trio. Yes, this stuff actually happened. Well, sort of. All these fanfics are technically BASED OFF OF events that happened to us in real life. I don't own Imagine: World Academy (I think it's actually a place near where I live), Hetalia, nor any of the characters.]

~*~

The Internet Ruined My Fruit!

The time had come for the incredibly cheesy drama production of Imagine: World Academy. this year's was expected to be no better than the previous year's, or the year's before, or even the year before that... you get the idea. The Academy's drama department had been on a losing streak. A long losing streak.

This year's musical was titled "Time v.s Time". As a side note, the title and the fact that there even is a production has almost nothing to do with the actual story; it's just fun information.

That brings the focus of the story to where we are today. Francis, Antonio and Gilbert - the infamous Bad Touch Trio - were goofing off backstage as per usual. Well, at least two-thirds of the BTT were; Francis was mysteriously missing.

"I wonder what happened to Frenchy. It's not as awesome without him here." Gil nonchalantly voiced out his concerns in the dark area behind the stage after taking a bite of his sandwich. He had waited one-too-many class periods for lunch to finally arrive.

"Last I checked, the Drama Department kidnapped him." Antonio somehow spoke through his mouthful of tomato pasta.

"Oh... Hey, wait!" The albino shot up, dropping his food when the actual meaning of the theory hit him. "Francis was kidnapped my the Drama kids?!"

"Si." Flipping a page in his Latin book, Antonio continued. "Some of them said they needed him to try on costumes for the play."

"And you're not worried?!"

"Should I be?"

Gilbert facepalmed. He had totally forgotten his friend's idiocy. "Y.E.S. Those drama kids are fuckin' SCARY -"

A loud scream was heard from backstage - oh, that's right, it was Toni and Gil's girlish and terrified screaming. Never mind my commentary, carry on.

"Toni! What the hell is that?!" The two teens were utterly horrified and were clinging onto each other for dear life as the object of their terror slowly walked forward toward them.

"I-I-I-I-I-I have no idea!" Every step the monster took, they took three steps back. "Make it go away!"

"I'm awesome, but not that awesome!"

A voice like death seeped through what seemed to be the monster's yellow skin. A very familiar voice, in fact.

"Amis! Amis! Relax, it's just me!" The overhead lights were switched on by the monster who turned out to be a hideous combination of Francis and... something yellow.

"Fran...cis...?" In a fit of laughter, the German and Spaniard forgot their fear and collapsed to the ground, clutching their stomachs and actually rolling around.

"Ha ha ha, very funny, you two." Francis waddled over to them and lightly kicked them in the side. "Now, help me out of this."

"We would-"

"But you looking like a fucking FRUIT, man!" The two on the floor continued laughing at their poor friend until he was so fed up, he resorted to his final weapon: his "rape face".

"We're sorry..."

"Good. Now, help me get this abomination off." Snickering, Gil and Toni attempted to free Francis from the yellow bits of the costume.

"So, what exactly are you, Frenchy?" Gil flung a piece of the outfit to Antonio, who promptly folded it.

"I was supposed to be a lemon..."

"Kesesesesesesesese! A lemon?!" Once again, Gilbert was on the ground with tears in his eyes and rolling around.

"Shut your trap! It's not funny!"

Antonio took over for his friend who was currently dying of laughter on the side. He actually felt bad for his French amigo. "What on earth did they do to you?"

"They wanted me to model their 'Citrus Mistress' costume..."

"Citrus mistress?!" When the brunette and his laughing buddy heard that, they were down for the count in a fit of giggling. "What the hell is a Citrus Mistress?!"

"I don't know..."

"Fusososososososososo~ Don't worry, Francis. You're not actually a part of the production, right? So Gil and I will return the costume while you rest here and eat. We'll be back soon."

Even though no one else knew about the costume and the play was a (mild) success, eyes would roll and some cheeks would blush whenever the BTT walked down the halls, calling the blonde a "Citrus Mistress". Or, as the albino changed it: "Lemony-Fresh Womanizer".

~KEFUHON~

[A/N: Si is "yes" in Spanish, amis is "friends" in French and finally, amigo is "friend" in Spanish.]

At the end of all of these stories, I'll explain what event happened.

So, for this one, it all started at lunch when I was hanging with my BTT, China and Poland. I was explaining to our Prussia (who has a tendency to switch into Finland) about what "lemon" means on the internet. I said "It pertains to France's various interests." Our China misheard me and said "France is a citrus?!" So that's where that comes from. But, the mistress part comes from when I was re-explaining it to China, Poland overheard me and quote: "France is a mistress?!" So yes, France is now a Citrus Mistress or a Lemony-Fresh Womanizer.