The dreaded "Friend Zone"; the purgatory of relationships. You're close enough to be best friends, but not close enough to become more than that. You're stuck and there's little hope to escape. It can be a really dark place, but you aren't alone.
Or so the story goes. Right now, I'm not sure what the hell is going on in my stupid, dense heart. I have a better understanding of quantum physicis than I do my own heart.
Here's the lowdown. I've always been "one of the guys" and have had many, many "guyfriends". So DUH eventually I'd like one of them. The first, BAM, shot like a duck in Duck Hunter. Gone, no chance, and he moved across the country.
Yeowch, was I depressed for a LONG time. I think it took a full three months to get over this guy (he was like my brother and I really loved him) and eventually I found someone new. We started going out, alright, cool, right?
WRONG.
My heart is retarded, for lack of better words, and I thought I liked this guy, but it turns out, I only liked him for the attention he gave me since I was forever ALONE in the romance field. (Have I mentioned that there were a good three guys I liked before these two came along that I never even really talked to? Pathetic, right?) I had no choice but to break up with him since he genuinly liked me, and I didn't want to hurt him more in the long run.
Single, round two. Or would it be more round 6? So anyway, I find another guy who was on my same sports team and HOLY LORD OF THE DEER WAS HE AMAZING. I've always been kinda shy and forgotten, so it was nice that I was noticed by this amazing guy... who had a girlfriend.
Let's try this again, round SEVEN. Lucky, lucky, seven.
I have never wanted to rip out my emotions and throw them against a wall.
There has been only one guy in my life outside of my family to stay by me for - like - EVER. He has been one of my best friends for at least 8 years, if not more. He's always been by my side and sure, he teases me, but I've been known to be a prime example of "love hurts" and am often seen playfully slapping people on the back of the head as a sign of my affection. He's put up with it for all these years, and he's never once betrayed me. Sure, he gets on my nerves and makes me mad sometimes, but give us a day and it's like nothing happened. We're partners in crime and enjoy irritating some of our other friends.
Right, throwing my emotions against a wall.
I have NO IDEA if I actually like this guy or not. Now, I'm not talking "ZOMG BESTIES~!" liking, I'm talking "Yeah, we're boyfriend-girlfriend" liking. Do you see my dilemma? And more than one of my other friends has said that we could make a really good couple-
If he actually liked someone like that. For all the years I've known him, he has never once liked someone. I swear to the higher power of your choosing that this guy is as asexual as can be. He says he's perfectly content being single all his life and enjoys being single...
Do you see the problem here? If not, let's recap:
I am a lonely, daydreamy, romantic-hearted girl looking for love, who tends to find it in her BGFs (Best Guy Friends).
He is a (possibly) asexual best friend of mine who is perfectly fine being single and couldn't care less about love.
Hm... Yeah. There's just a little problem with that relationship, I think. Nothing much, but a little of one.
...
Okay, I think I'm done ranting. Solutions are VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
