You're having a get-together with friends, the topic darts around like a squirrel preparing for winter, and all of a sudden the discussion shifts to something slightly uncomfortable for a few of those present—a polarising topic, or an honest but penetrating remark about someone's character, for instance. And before the group can even start to resolve the situation, someone pops the Unforgivable Question.
"Guys, can we please just drop it?"
...excuse me?? No! No, we cannot "just drop it"! The situation has been put on the table and must be dealt with. If we leave it sit there, it will fester in someone and create all sorts of stupidity on down the road, and at the moment the atmosphere is hardly lighthearted; we can't just pretend nothing happened because something did happen and it's affecting us all, which the questioner-at-fault is surely also feeling.
I cannot excuse this question ever. It indicates a fear of the uncomfortable and (in personal instances) an inability to allow someone to struggle with piercing information about themselves. It is based on the utterly naïve assumption that everything done together must be happy and that risking offense to another is somehow inherently wrong. It showcases cowardice on the part of the asker. It indirectly insults those involved by implying that what they are doing is bad—and it royally insults the recipient of harsh criticism (when that is the case) by further assuming that they won't be able to deal with said criticism in a mature manner.
And it is supremely selfish. The question might as well say "I don't want to let you have the chance to go anywhere deep because I feel awkward and left out."
Now, in the case where the situation devolves to heated arguments wherein a) neither side of the discussion can appreciate or concede acknowledgment of the other's stance or b) the friend impugned and the friend impugning have let themselves degenerate to hurling insults back and forth (or, more commonly, when the impugned actually cannot handle criticism in a mature manner), then it is time to step in and kill the topic because nothing is being accomplished except aggression. And it's at that point that I tend to take control of the situation (or at least redirect the passion onto me so I can deal with it myself) and attempt to snap people back to their senses.
And I understand nipping something in the bud when the people involved are known to degenerate in just such a fashion.
But there are very few ways to draw my ire more quickly than to attempt to stop a potential conflict because you feel bad watching.
Grow up.
