As a few of you or so may know, I have been actively and passively and . . . not so actively, I have to admit, been searching for a job for about a year now, and have found really nothing at all. And it's a little demoralising, especially when you haven't worked in several years and left the last job you held on rather unpleasant terms (on my part at least), and you know that your employers are looking at that gap and going "what has he been doing with himself all this time?" and so on.
And I came to a rather abrupt realisation the other day. I have been looking everywhere for work except for the one place that I would absolutely love to work. I have gone to Wal-Mart and Kroger and tried Aldi but got sent in twenty different directions that all pointed back in places I'd been, I've gone to fast food places and diners and bookstores and PetCo and just really had no luck . . . .
. . . and yet I haven't gone near a library. Not once.
So to get it out of my head I mentioned it to Beth, and I realised something else as well. Not only have I not gone near a library to look for work, I haven't even gone in one for pleasure lately. The one thing that aggravated me most about being a music major was I had no time to read at all, and yet in the two years since then I haven't read nearly anything except during the summer.
And as I've read less and less, I've written less and less.
And I realised that I want this one, this time. As I told Beth, I could work at any of the places I listed above, and I could work well and work hard, but at the end of the day if the place burnt to the ground I wouldn't care beyond hoping no one was inside at the time. And even at a bookstore, I'd have to sell things, and I can't stand pitching things. If I think it's good, I can sell it to you, but if you come in and tell me you like romance novels I will have no idea where to point you and I will have no desire to learn the material. And screw Starbucks, really.
But in a library, none of that matters. I can be honest with people without having to worry about them purchasing anything, I can direct people to locations they might not . . . dude, I am getting really excited about this all of a sudden, and that doesn't usually happen.
So the plan now is to get in contact with the Cookeville library (not the campus one, that's research mostly) and see if they could use a new face or two. I can be two-faced if they need me to. Although really I have no idea why I said "or two" at all. That makes no sense.
Anyway. And maybe in the process of being around something I love again I'll start back into my old habits of doodling. Because I really miss it. But whenever I sit down to start lately I find myself easily distracted by other things, and that's not how it used to be.
And maybe one of these days I'll stop putting these posts on the wrong world. Although Veridan needs attention, I'll give you that . . . .
