"Hang on. 'No children to my knowledge.' Only people from the South say that."
"You were homeschooled. You can't say you came straight out of high school. You walked out of your house."
"So, you know bombs and grenades have an expiration date, right? Like yogurt."
"So, Chief, if magnesium burns so hot, how do you get close enough to push it overboard?"
"You be a man about it."
"They [combination wrenches] come in all sorts of sizes, including Fucking Enormous. You use them and feel very awesome."
"So, like, if you grab the wrench, and the fastener is stuck," *makes fist* "it'll break free and you'll be like WA-BAM!" *punches blackboard* "And it hurts so bad."
"And you'll see your notes say that the wire will form a backwards S? Fuck that! It's a Z! A Z looks like that! 'Backwards S'. That's ridiculous."
"A pigeon has more retention than you!"
"If you put ten thousand pounds-force of pressure in there, it's going to fucking move."
"So, like, in this video, there's, like, an underwater pipe, and there's this cool robot thing cutting it, and, like, the pressure on the inside of the pipe is way less than the pressure of the Ocean. And, like, this crab comes walking up, gonna check shit out, and he's looking around, and he gets up to the hole ... and then the motherfucker disappears!!
"And it's not, you know, 'cause he got 'sucked' anywhere. The pressure of the Ocean pushed his bitch ass IN there!"
"Blahk-a-blauw!"
"So, does everyone at least understand enough circuits to know that electricity has to have a full circuit to transmit anything across distances? Good. That's all I got, too. We're mechanics. =D"
"On a ship, the nuclear reactor, is in a room. And you don't go in that room, because if you do, you'll fucking die."
"Calm down. Graphic: inadequate. Don't be yourselves."
"You can't drink the Ocean ... unless if you're a real man.
"And you would have pressure of alfa is equal to pressure bravo plus pressure gage one."
"Wouldn't that be minus?"
"...it would be. I fucking—this is why I don't teach math!!"
"Steps in the right direction. Not just standing still. 'This is how we always do things.' That's the stupidest bullshit I've ever heard in my entire life! Go suck a dick!"
"I have an example!"
*rummages*
"...no I don't. Someone stole that shit. That's some bullshit."
"But be careful with it [a packing-removal screw]! A couple of classes ago I stabbed the SHIT out of myself. It's pointy...."
"There're only two reasons you would choose to sit up front: A) so you can suck my dick all the time...."
*here the entire class lost all bearing for several minutes*
"...or B) so you can eliminate all possible distractions from the notes!
"The second way, I'll have only nice things to say about you, and your grade will go UP! And ... the first way ... I'll ... only have nice things to say about you."
–Chief M
