Mom: Okay. Yeah. The minimal involvement is a good thing, and I have been a touter of volunteerism all my life. I just really want you to get a job. And maybe go to summer school...we'll see...
Mom: :I
Allamorph: Mom, *I* really want me to get a job.
Allamorph: You're not alone.
Allamorph: =P
Mom: Well, obviously, a capital I don't work...I mean, doesn't.
Allamorph: :|
Allamorph: Nope.
Allamorph: Neither does ... whatever that thing is.
Mom: did I forward the algebra joke to you? the one that A. (aunt) sent me?
Allamorph: Oh gosh.
Allamorph: No, I don't think so.
Mom: She referred to you as "your son," instead of using the name A—. So I wrote her a little note about being more personal, and...she took it PERSONAL!
Mom: I got a nice little email lecture.
Mom: So. A— (oldest little sister) sold her car today. I guess Dad told you.
Allamorph: Oh gosh, Mom. And what was wrong with saying "your son?" :P And no, he did not.
Allamorph: I certainly take no offense.
Allamorph: =)
Mom: You may not get the entire story...Aunt K understands...it has to do with distancing oneself from the family. Not ever saying, "How's A—?" for example...instead, asking, How is your daughter? It sounds so stodgy and remote--and frankly, uninterested. As K told me, and I have found it to be true in my case as well, she always says, "Hi, this is your sister A." Well, we know who it is when she calls. We don't need the identifying relationship.
Mom: She is just weird.
Mom: When she wrote me back with her offended reply, she kept using my name in every sentence. It was rather... petty.
Mom: But don't worry about it.
Allamorph: Heh. I just see it as a personality quirk. Technically I AM your son. Look at it more like I understand both you *and* A's takes on it, and can't help being objective.
Allamorph: (^_^)
Mom: Okay, I am going to get the joke from the reg. email, and paste it here. Hang on...I'll be back...
Allamorph: OH NO.
Allamorph: No, just forward it to me.
Allamorph: Unless it's a one-liner, in which case that's fine.
Mom: A mathematician went insane. He came to believe that he was the
differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental
hospital to help him get better. But therapy wasn't working. Each day
he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them
and saying, "I differentiate you!"
One day, he encountered a new patient, and, true to form, he stared at
her and said, "I differentiate you!" However, his victim's expression
didn't change. Surprised, the mathematician gathered his energies,
stared fiercely at the new patient, and said loudly "I differentiate
you!" Still, the young woman had no reaction.
Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out: "I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!"
The new patient calmly looked up and said, "You can differentiate me
all you like: I'm e to the x."
Allamorph: You see what I mean? :p
Mom: What.
Allamorph: Copy-pasta is not always a good thing.
Allamorph: And that joke was painful.
Allamorph: Ouch.
Allamorph: =P
Allamorph: That was worse than my pun the other day.
Mom: I will ignore your limp pasta joke. BUT, I thought the differentiation joke was amusing, and I don't get what you're complaining about...I copied it and I pasted it, and it transmitted to you, so what's the problem?
Allamorph: It took up more then the entire chatbox.
Mom: THAN
Allamorph: Bad chatroom etiquette, ma'am.
Allamorph: Than, then. Eater, Easter.
Allamorph: We're even.
Allamorph: =)
Mom: No. apples to oranges.
Allamorph: Yes, same thing. Just wrong letter.
Allamorph: ANYwho.
Mom: Speaking of Mr. P—, did you ever contact him?
Allamorph: WE WERE NOT SPEAKING OF HIM AT ALL.
Allamorph: =P
Mom: Now. We. Are.
Allamorph: If you're going to do that, at LEAST say "speaking of non sequiturs".
Allamorph: It's actually funny.
Allamorph: I think.
Mom: To change the subject, how about that Doug P— guy?
Allamorph: I hear he's a good guy. No I have not contacted him yet. . . . hang on, I'm mentally assessing my schedule for the next two days to see how quickly I could alter that.
Mom: He's on Facebook. all you have to do is send him a message. I scripted you and everything, already.
Mom: He's a SMART guy, that's for sure.
Mom: His wife? Now, that's another story...
Allamorph: Okay. Whaddyamean, 'scripted'?
Mom: She's nutty, but she has a good little heart...
Allamorph: Oh let's not get into that family, please, for sanity.
Mom: Back to Doug...
Mom: Script -- I made a suggestion on what to say...how to open the conversation...how to initiate a job-seeking conversation...
Allamorph: Well, you've been so active on FB recently I didn't know if you picked up a slang I'm unfamiliar with. :p
Allamorph: Also, holy crap, L. M. is getting married.
Allamorph: =O
Allamorph: I did not know this.
Mom: Hunh??????
Mom: Who the heck is L. M.???
Allamorph: Person who played second to me in MYO, mainly euphonium; graduated out a year ahead of me.
Allamorph: Forgive me, I got excited.
Mom: Well, she's 22 or so then...what's the big deal? Lots of people get married in their twenties..your dad did!
Allamorph: But I KNOW HER. It's a big deal to me.
Allamorph: I didn't have a clue who you were when you got married.
Mom: LOL
Allamorph: And I don't really know Brandi M— or some of the other people back home WHAT IS THIS MADNESS OF LOL YOU USE UPON ME
Mom: It meant that I read what you wrote, and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!!
Allamorph: I
Allamorph: you
Allamorph: that
Allamorph: ascalfrascal
Mom: huhhhhhhhhh?????????
Allamorph: I thought you were the Queen of English.
Allamorph: And you have descended to . . . THIS.
Allamorph: I scoff at "lol".
Allamorph: Faugh.
Allamorph: =P
Mom: LOL communicates, quickly, a LAUGH. I scoff not at it.
Mom: I embrace its usefulness.
Allamorph: You know what communicates it just as well?
Allamorph: "Heh."
Allamorph: "Ha ha."
Mom: No.
Allamorph: *chuckle*
Mom: It does not.
Allamorph: *gigglesnort*
Allamorph: LOL idk, my bff Jill?
Allamorph: AGH
Mom: And I don't like *chuckle*. I have never really cared for that word.
Allamorph: WHAT
Allamorph: o_O
Mom: $%% How about THAT???
Mom: It's quite a communication device.
Allamorph: That is terribly impolite.
Mom: You get the point.
Mom: Time for Scramble.
Mom: Time for BED! Rocco woke us up at 3:30 a.m. He was howling, because I made him sleep downstairs in the crate.
Allamorph: My own mother said "lol".
Allamorph: I must be the oldest 21-year-old on the face of the PLANET.
Allamorph: *shakes cane at kids*
Mom: Yes. An old dog CAN be taught new tricks, if necessary.
Allamorph: GET OFF MY LAWN
Mom: LOL
Allamorph: I PLANTED THAT GRASS YESTERDAY
Mom: You make me laugh.
Allamorph: *futile gesture*
Mom: Bad day for planting grass, my friend.
Mom: My young friend.
Mom: Ever see "Karate Kid"? You should. Is good movie.
Mom: Tell your roomie I said "hello."
Allamorph: http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z158/Allamorph/Misc/lolz/situationalz/whythesethings.jpg
Mom: Mother-to-son sort of thing.
Mom: ???
Mom: How's Michael?
Allamorph: Do you have ADD?
Mom: What, Huh? Who? When?
Mom: Hablas espanol?
Mom: WHEEEEEEEE!
Allamorph: UN POCO
Mom: Poco loco.
Mom: Loony toony
Allamorph: Pero hablo mal.
Mom: Es verdad.
Allamorph: You know, I have a reputation for being nuts on the sites I go to.
Allamorph: I wish I could save this, show people where I get it.
Mom: NO.
Mom: You CAN save it. All you do is copy/paste. I did it last night, with another conversation.
Mom: Do you have ADD or something??
Allamorph: Yes, but unless I copy the entire window into Word, it's not in an editable format.
Allamorph: Jeepers.
Mom: I'm telling you, I did it last night! Have the whole conversation in Word. Edited it and sent it to your dad, via regular email.
Allamorph: *sigh*
Allamorph: I mean it's inconvenient.
Allamorph: =P
Allamorph: I log all my conversations in other services automatically.
Mom: I can do it now, and send it to you. Sheesh. You do what you gotta do. It is Not that dificile.
Mom: NOT.
Allamorph: NO ES FACIL
Allamorph: And easy is not the point.
Mom: Well. La-di-da. it can still be done.
Allamorph: It's inconvenient.
Allamorph: And time consuming.
Mom: Blah, blah, blah.
Mom: Whine, whine, whine.
Allamorph: YES
Mom: Que es tu problema, amigo? Ay!
Mom: Como se dice "buck up" en espanol?
Allamorph: Apurate.
Mom: Apurate means, Hurry.
Allamorph: Yes.
Mom: Not "buck up."
Allamorph: I know.
Allamorph: I was being completely unhelpful.
Allamorph: I WONDER WHO I GET THAT FROM
Allamorph: XD
Mom: You're just trying to add silliness to the conversation so that you can copy the whole thing and display it to your cyber-relations.
Allamorph: You suggest I have cyber-relations?
Allamorph: Madam, I do NOT cyber.
Allamorph: That is gross.
Mom: Suggest? Need I suggest?
Allamorph: And . . . strange.
Mom: Okay. Your cyber-others.
Mom: How's that?
Mom: How's that for terminology, I mean.
Mom: aunt k. is on the chat line now.
Allamorph: So I see.
Allamorph: Anyway, you have completely forgotten that you asked me how school was going.
Mom: Aha--my plan worked!
Allamorph: So you don't want to know.
Allamorph: Okay.
Allamorph: I won't tell you, then.
Mom: don't make me beg and grovel.
Allamorph: Well maybe you should learn to pick a topic and stick with it.
Allamorph: =)
Mom: Hardeehar.
Allamorph: =)
Mom: HOW ARE YOUR CLASSES GOING??? ARE YOU SCHEMING WITH DAD AGAIN, AND KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME?
Allamorph: I once shot an elephant in my pajamas.
Allamorph: How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
Allamorph: Anyway.
Allamorph: I told Dad.
Allamorph: I'd say ask him, but I remember how well that turned out last time.
Allamorph: Classes are good.
Allamorph: Cal 3 exam was last Thursday.
Mom: Yes. And he will keep it to himself unless I pry it out of him.
Mom: Our info just crossed in the mail...
Allamorph: Does he get some perverse pleasure out of ribbing you?
Allamorph: Anyway.
Allamorph: Cal exam was not hard.
Allamorph: In fact, the professor scaled it back because so many people had problems with the test a week before.
Allamorph: . . . a test which I blew out of the water.
Mom: No, he does not rib me. He just forgets...it's not a plot or anything...the pot-smoking damaged his brain, ha-ha...
Allamorph: They're coming to take you away, ha-ha?
Mom: Yay for you and the test. :)
Allamorph: Yeah.
Mom: Yeah.
Allamorph: I made one mistake on it; divided 25 into 50 and got 5 somehow.
Allamorph: But since my theory after that was correct, he gave me a perfect score.
Allamorph: And so since many people had problems with the test and I did not, I had very few problems with the exam.
Allamorph: I might not ace this one, but I think I'm going to get darn close.
Allamorph: Chemistry I had to make up Tuesday morning, so I don't know about it yet.
Allamorph: CAD was this morning, and the other bit is tomorrow in lab. Not going to be a problem.
Allamorph: Got the hum-dingers Friday.
Allamorph: Statics is nasty because we get one problem per chapter covered (or three problems, whichever), and yee-haw for that,
Allamorph: and Music History will be interesting on the listening.
Mom: Well, overall, it sounds much better than LAST spring.
Allamorph: Yes, it is.
Allamorph: AND I WONDER WHY.
Allamorph: To be honest, it's also better than last semeser.
Allamorph: Semester.
Allamorph: (oops)
Mom: Well, I was just writing to Megan B—, and wrote ...sou
Mom: soul.
Mom: we both made mistakes at the same time. How groovy.
Mom: semeser. That's funny.
Mom: boy, Megan is really BLABBING to me...
Mom: She plays trumpet...
Mom: guess you knew that...
Allamorph: Yus.
Mom: did you hear about D. Bauer? Her mom now has custody of the baby...not at all surprising...
Allamorph: Como se dice "I have to use".
Allamorph: I know nothing of any Bauers.
Allamorph: Most I know is of Jack Bauer.
Allamorph: And he's fictitious.
Mom: do you have to pee? So do I.
Allamorph: YES
Allamorph: I HAVE TO TAKE A MAJOR LEAK
Allamorph: AGH
Allamorph: I am doing a little dance in my seat.
Mom: Bye!!!! Later!!!!
Mom: More conversation mas tarde, no? Necesito ir al bano.
Mom: Adios, mi hijo.
