Me:
Hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
So am I
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
Do you like yo yos?
God:
Do you like it? I like wine and bread.
Me:
I Like girls
God:
Do you have a girlfriend?
Me:
Had
God:
In the context of GIRLS, I don't understand " Had." .
Me:
I Lost her to a guy
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
I Never saw it
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
Done God? no
God:
What are you wearing? That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
I Am wearing latex
God:
What size?
Me:
tighter the better
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Lets do it
God:
That sounds good to me.
Me:
Good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
uhn
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Appearantly have cyber sex with god
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
UHN UHN UHN
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
A Quotation, yes
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
no, I'm talking about a condom
God:
Are you serious? Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
What do you think about gays, mr god?
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
....Maybe. Does that turn you on?
God:
I understand. What would you say?
Me:
hell yes
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Okay, Heaven yes
God:
Yeah okay, If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. So?
Me:
OMG
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
So I Do turn you on
God:
Awesome. That is interesting: said turn you on.
Me:
Are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
Do you like putting things into children?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I like .
Me:
HOMOSEXUALITY!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Lesbian
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
So you do hate gays
God:
Interesting deduction. I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
But you dislike them
God:
Thanks for the information: said I dislike them.
Me:
Am I Going to hell?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
so you think we're inferior
God:
Interesting deduction. We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
:3
God:
Three what?
Me:
Three women in my bed
God:
Just three?
Me:
Lets make it 5
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
7 WAYYYY
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Hot Bisexual sex
God:
That sounds better than cold Bisexual sex.
Me:
yes, it does
God:
Come on. How often?
Me:
Every night
God:
What time of night?
Me:
all night
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
yes, but it feels good
God:
Gosh! Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
So you have Godly feelings?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You said "Human feelings are not within my capabilities."
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
oh?
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Panda
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
I like Rainbows
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like .
Me:
You like period??
God:
How old are you? I like Matthew.
Me:
OMG GOD IS A GAY MAN!
God:
Aren't all GAY MAN OMG GOD?
Me:
I Dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
With your godlike weirdness
Me:

God:
I'm not sure I can use my godlike weirdness for that.
Me:
I Like sex
God:
I'm not sure I can use my godlike weirdness for that.
God:
So does everyone else. You humans find sex so fascinating.
Me:
Definately
God:
What makes you so certain.
Me:
Condoms
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
OMG REALLY?
God:
" I am a she."? OMG? For real.
Me:
Holy shit
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
God Is a Woman
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a Woman.
Me:
But
God:
But what?
Me:
But
God:
But what?
Me:
But
God:
But what?
Me:
You just said you were a woman!
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
I Know a lot of guys like that
God:
How do you know? How many?
Me:
About 8 billion
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about 8 billion.
Me:
8 billion what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Girls
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
So you like men?
God:
Interesting deduction. Most men are pretty cool, but some are rude sometimes.
Me:
You make me think of santa
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
Well, according to my christian friends you created us, so yes, you are to blame
God:
Interesting. All of them?
Me:
Appearantly
God:
" All of them?"? Appearantly?
Me:
Sexual Intercourse
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Sexual Intercourse
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Oh, you'd be suprised
God:
Really. I don't know whether or not I am suprised.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
Really? I'm a human developed by my parents
God:
For real. I know you are.
Me:
...Are you watching me?
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
I don't have a camera
God:
Me either but I want a new digital one.
Me:
I want a polaroid camera
God:
You want only one?
Me:
I WANT ALL OF THEM!
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Cause then I can sing that song
God:
Interesting explanation. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yup
God:
How?
Me:
Its easy
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Maybe for you.
Me:
it is easy
God:
Maybe for you.
Me:
Shake it
God:
"it" being ALL OF THEM?
Me:
yes
God:
Yikes!
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Cause i have this thing called a brain
God:
Good reason. Where did you get your this thing called a brain? I have a lofty goal.
Me:
I'm sure your goal post is even loftier
God:
What makes you so certain? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am goal post is even loftier.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
Lets do IT
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
UHN UHN UHN
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I Love santa
God:
You love santa. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
HE IS ALL MAN
God:
I see. ALL MAN is he?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
I have to go touch some children, goodbye god
God:
Bye. What is your real name?