I sighed as the alarm blasted a re-vamped version of “Safety Dance” into my skull. Still groggy, I flung the infernal contraption in the general direction of the wall, scaring Salem, my cat. Unfortunately, I didn’t break it. Groaning, I got up and turned the stupid thing off like a sane person.
“I abhor Mondays,” I told Salem. Salem looked like he agreed.
I got dressed in my usual all black-black turtleneck, black micro-mini skirt, black knee-boots-and proceeded towards the kitchen.
“Riana, what on earth are you doing?” I resisted the urge to slap my forehead. My ditzy roommate was attempting to shove an entire frozen pizza into one of the toaster slots. Of course, she’s always trying to invent some new toaster-capable food product, but it’s usually eggs (in the shell), cookies (mixed very badly and poured into the unsuspecting toaster), or some form of fish (like my former beta, Lela).
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m making Hot Pockets!” Riana looked so proud of herself, she didn’t realize that her pizza had snapped in half and got stuck in the toaster slot.
“RIANA!!! Come on, that’s the third toaster this week!” I really hate it when she does this….
“Huh? Oh…” The toaster had started sparking and smoking. “Well, look on the bright side….”
“There is no bright side! You’re paying for this one.” I had bought the last five toasters because this is technically her apartment, but this is starting to deplete my paycheck.
“Come on, Raven. It’s not that big of a deal.” She beamed. Of course she wouldn’t think so, with all her dad-funded designer wardrobe, lavish apartment and near-celebrity social status, she wouldn’t think anything was wrong. I hated her. I actually have to work for my money. Speaking of work….
“Whatever, Riana. I have to go to work. Guess I’ll go to Starbucks or something. There better be a new toaster here when I get back, and not a pink, diamond encrusted one, either.” That’s what she got last time she bought a toaster. It cost like, $5,000 or something, and twenty minutes later she shoved my red beta fish-the aforementioned Lela-into it.
“OK, OK. I’ll even get a black one, just for you, roomie dearest.” She smiled sweetly. I wanted to rip out her blonde extensions. Instead, I left for work.