"Actually, Jiraiya-sensei," I started with a wide and evil smile breaking over my face, "it might be best if you let Zhen-chan do the whole genjutsu-slash-data-extraction operation. She is the most depraved mind here, after all." I reached over, still sitting atop Kabuto, who was looking greener by the minute (undoubtedly having read Icha Icha Paradise).
The medic traitor gulped. "You mean that THAT girl is more perverted than the legendary lady-killer Sannin, Jiraiya????" He seemed incredulous that anyone could be more perverted than the Pervy Sage himself.
He had never met Zhen-chan.
In answer, Zhen reached into a pocket on her vest and pulled out a summoning scroll. "Summoning no Jutsu!!" A huge pile of books marked clearly 'XXX' and 'R' fell from the sky. "Yaoi Yuri Orgy no Jutsu!!"
I rolled my eyes. Cat looked like she was about to hurl.
Even the Pervy Sage looked disgusted. "And I thought I was bad..." he muttered under his breath.
Zhen started rummaging through her vast stores of forbidden manga, art, and other artifacts that I would not dare to describe for the sake of my sanity and that of my readers. Then, after about three minutes, she found what she wanted. "Aha!" She twirled around with a battered copy of what looked to be a Harlequin Romance novel. "Perfect." She released the summoning and tucked the paperback into the top of her ANBU vest. She cackled in delight.
Cat and I looked down at Kabuto, pity in our eyes. "Man, I feel sorry for you." I told him this with a sympathetic look on my face and after a moment, I realized I meant what I said.
"FANTASY ILLUSION NO JUTSU!!! EXTRACTION ECSTASY TECHNIQUE!!" Zhen proclaimed with a satisfied smirk. She laid a finger on the captured shinobi's brow.
Almost immediately, he began to get a nosebleed...