JUST ONE SMILE
(a short story)
The sky was a dull, gray color, signifying the coming of rain as I looked up at it from my corner of the stairs. I pulled my knees closer to me for warmth.
How long?
How long do I have to wait? I stared at my sneaker-clad feet and my worn out jeans, wishing I'd worn something a bit more girly.
But if I did, would I finally see it?I did try to prettify myself a couple of times. Tried all the mix of clothes in my closet. But all those attempts went unnoticed. Nothing seems to penetrate that stone-cold look of his.
I never stopped trying though.
Everyday became more challenging as I thought up of ways just to get him to finally do it.
I never wished for anything more than I wished for him to just smile.
Hearing footsteps coming my way, I straightened up. Braced myself as a figure stepped onto the hallway. I immediately let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. It wasn't him. I looked out the open window and by now the sky was darker than ever. The faint pitter patter of rain could be heard from outside.
How much longer?
I went back to my apartment just across the stairs, thinking I wouldn't be seeing him today. Which happened a lot recently. As I sat back on my comfy sofa a thought struck me.
Why did I have to act like this? It sounds so stupid and I don't even know the guy!
I figured I only started to like him all because he looked a little like that celebrity I used to idolize so much. And so I started calling him the nickname I gave that celebrity. Seems like he started noticing me too because of that. He actually caught me calling him that, one time we rode the elevator together. His eyes met my widened ones, I knew from then on that he became aware of me as much as I was aware that my mouth was agape as the elevator doors opened up to the lobby. I remembered I ran after that.
I'm such a coward.
I laughed to myself as the rain poured harder. Being a coward didn't stop my heart from beating fast everytime I saw his face, even with that never-changing cold expression of his. Just once, told myself.
Just once, I wanna see him smile.
Then I started wondering, what would he look like when he smiled? Would he look like that celebrity when he smiled? Would his face lighten up? Can he even smile?!
I stopped thinking when I heard my stomach grumble. All forms of thought ceased as I fed my hungry belly. Nevermind him and my whirlwind of emotions concerning him just yet. It took me fifteen minutes to finish the spagheti bolognese and chocolate mousse which served as my dinner.
I glanced at the clock, 45 minutes after five; then redirected my gaze towards the door, he should have passed by now.
I missed him, deliberately. I breathed another sigh, somehow thinking of him makes me tired. So many times I tried to stop, I even forced myself to forget about him; but I just can't. I even tried hating him, which was supposed to be easy seeing as he never does anything, but scowl at me. It's just that whenever I see his face, with that all too familiar expression, my breath stops and my brain freezes. Up until that moment that he passes me by, every afternoon in that corner of the stairs.
I never realized he has become such a habit of mine. One that I don't need, but one I can't live without.
Heavy rain continued to pour as I laid down in my sofa. The weather seemed to be sympathizing with me because I felt absolutely gloomy.
I should probably stop this addicting habit. It's doing me no good. I thought ruffling my hair.
He probably hates me anyway. Figured i'd been too much of a stalker, and wouldn't want anything to do with me. There goes my sigh again. I'm gonna get old early, sighing so much.
“I'm gonna forget him!” I said aloud. For how long? That question suddenly popped into my mind. How long can I keep it up? A week? Two weeks? A month?
As long as I can. Said a definite voice in my head. I'll forget him for as long as I can.
I curled my hand into a fist. “Ajah!” as long as there's a will, there's always a way. Satisfied that I convinced myself, I closed my eyes and waited for sleep.
The rain had ceased when I woke up. And moonlight glowed onto the room from the balcony. I forgot to turn the lights on again. I looked at the clock, 15 minutes after seven. Boy, have I been out like a light. So I went into the kitchen, grabbed the almost full trash bag and headed for the door.
I froze halfway to closing it. My breath caught in my throat, my heart almost beating out of my chest.
How long can I keep it up again? Said that really sarcastic voice in the back of my head. I probably won't ever forget the face that stared up at me from that corner of the stairs, right across my apartment. My addiction was back with a vengeance. That familiar hated scowl was gone and in its place, as our eyes met, was a small hint of a smile. :)
~END~
P.S:
.....hahaha....i plan to make a little comic out of this story..no disclaimer though because this is purely my imagination..hahaha...one rainy day...hahaha...along with random thoughts..hahaha...
