Hi, I'm Apanda! This world will have updates about my life and stuffs. So yeah, it'll be pretty boring... Sorry. -_-
My Loveless name is Worthless.
1. lacking in usefulness or value; "a worthless idler" [ant: valuable]
2. morally reprehensible; "would do something as despicable as murder"; "ugly crimes"; "the vile development of slavery appalled them"; "a slimy little liar" [syn: despicable]
My fruit is mango: Though the outer rind is colourful and deeply hued,
Its kevlar-type resistance cannot be consumed. Deep underneath the reddish orange rind though, is so much soul and nutrient compassion.
My new favorit quote's:
1. “Love is something that you’d get hurt about. Getting hurt, feeling pain... if you don’t feel it, then that’s not love.”
2. "You can never have the same love twice. When one love ends... even if you fall in love with someone else...you can never have the same love again. Even love matures. Its like a flower. Cherish it while it blooms."
Quote by Nanba, from Hana-Kimi For you in full bloom.
3. "Pure love means loving only one woman. Shes the one you hold most precious. She's so dear to you that no other woman would even enter your field of vision."
Quote by Makoto, from W Juliet.
4. "Its like I'm always the only one in love here."
Quote by Yukari, from Paradise Kiss.
5. "Watch for that signal, when life as you know it ends."
Quote by Jerry, from P.S. I Love You.
And now here's a song From the new All American Rejects CD that i really like.
yeah even though i got to spend some time with michelle, and go over to justines place for a few minutes im still extremely depressed... and i really just feel like curling up into a ball in some corner and crying my eyes out for a good hour or so... maybe that would help make the pain go away.
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i dont even know what the problem is, i mean nothing new has happened. just the normal depressing shit. im really sick of feeling this way... and i know this is gonna sound over dramatic, but ive really been thinking about ending it. just ending everything. but i already know im not capable of that. theres always that "what if" in the back of my mind like, what if things got better, what if i end up happy some day with someone, what if all my efforts arent a complete waste of time and things turn out the way i want them to in the end...
yeah, theres definetly no way id be able to kill myself... but i am starting to think that itd be easier... and i cant even do anything about it now. like before when i just cut and stuff. now i dont even want to do that because i have that little sliver of hope that things might work out, and i dont want to fuck up my body any more then it already is... sorry, i know im just complaining and being over dramatic, but i really just needed to get this all out. i cant really talk to anyone about this stuff in person, so i thought i might as well just put it up here for nobody to see... cause nobody fucking comes here anymore.
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yeah i think im just gonna go now, before i start swearing and bitching about that.
Hm, yeah it isnt really anything that dramatic... -_- im just starting to fall back into my depression very randomly, and im not really sure why. im starting to think that depressed is just my natural state of mind, cause im never happy for long. but i guess that could also just be me being selfish.
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anyways, i refuse to make this a pity post!
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so i went for orientation yesterday, and the computer ended up freaking out on us, so i wasnt able to finish it. so im supposed to go back there today at 6, but they never said which 6... 6 in the morning or 6 at night. T-T so i tried finding there number, but all i could find was the 1-800-the crave one. so i decided to just go there at 6 at night. and i think thats what she meant...
yeah... i just lost all my motivation to continue this post, so im gonna go.
OMG that was like the most amazing book ive ever read. that series is AWESOME!
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and i really wanna tell you all about some stuff, but i dont wanna ruin the book for you guys.
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actually, i could probably put the whole book up here and sense nobody comes here anymore nobody would care...
*sigh*
anyways, im in to good a mood to let that bring me down.
^_^
i cant wait for her to write another book. she is now my fav author.(other then Justine ^^), which ive never had before.
*squee*
if you ever get the chance to read that series do it. its so freaking good.
and omg you all should have seen the store. there were over 200 girls there waiting for that book to come out. (and of course i was one of them ^^) and while i was waiting i decided to take a look around. (at the girls lol) and none of them caught my interest... -_- but there was a girl there with some awesome hair, it was like blue and bright pink, and parts of it (pink parts) were all buzz cut, and it just looked so cool. theres really not a good way to describe it... youd have to see it.
and i also so someone from school there, but i dont think the remembered me.
