why are people just now deciding to tell me that i'm trash? why are they now deciding to tell me that my friends are trash? just because i accidentally break things doesnt mean i'm hopeless....

this is what happened:
i was twirling my flash drive and it slipped and accidentally broke a piece of my gramma's cat lamp. yes i didnt realize it was in breaking distance because i still have the mentality of a child when i play around with things and thats doesnt call for telling me to leave home and never come back!!!!! then she got childish and threw all of my perfume bottles on the floor threw down my picture and my lamp and i think the pic frame broke....maybe i shuld call Key and ask her if she can come and get me because of this for a week maybe my gramma will realize that she needs me more than my bro or sis....idk just really wish i was dead now and of course my little sister enjoyed seeing my gramma say that to me cause when it shattered lidia told grandma then started to grin.....wish something bad would happen to me rite now