It was cold outside, that was certain, but she stayed perched on the front steps, her bunny plushie held by one hand, she couldn't stop thinking about it, she just couldn't, it was like haveing a song stuck in her head, the thoughts repeated, over and over, like the same verse, repeating over and over, 'I shouldn't be alive, I shouldn't have done these things, I should die, I deserve to die, I should never have done these things to Ichigo' those thoughts just kept going through her mind, regardless of the fact that she wanted them to stop, they wouldn't cease, she held her nees against her chest, she felt so lonely, but suddenly she didn't, suddenly someone was sitting right behind her, she looked up, Ichigo looked down, he had a crooked smirk plastered on his face, "Hey there Shortie!" he greeted, she just stared a little longer, "Hey," she greeted in return, Ichigo rolled his eyes, "Get up," he demanded, pulling on her arms and standing her up in front of him, "Wa-?" but before she could even get the words out of her mouth, he had taken her inside and planted her firmly on the sofa, she stared at him, very displeased, but his face was relaxed, he leaned his head on his hand as he sat opposite her, "Come on out with it," she ignored him, "You may speak," he said sarcastically, she wapped him with her bunny plushie, he sheilded her with his arm and in the same quick motion grabbed her rist in his hand, pulling her towards him, and into his lap, despite her slight struggle, he gently turned her face so that she could look at him, she turned away quickly, 'Don't look at him' she thought, she new wat would happen if she did, her heart was weak, SHE was weak, very weak, she would completely fall apart under his stern gaze, she would break down, admit to the way she had been feeling lately, she couldn't allow herself to do that, so she looked away, avoiding the harsh truth, he turned her face again, this time makeing sure that she couldn't look away, she could only avoid his eyes at this point, his beautifull copper eyes, he ran his lips over her upper cheekbone, he had speant his time well, learning her inside and out, noing wat made her tick, wat made her ache, wat made her laugh, wat made her surrender, he new her better than she new herself, as she did him,
It only took a few seconds before she gave up, relaxed her body and leaned against his, his arm curled under her waist and snaked around her, holding on tightly, "Stop thinking about it," he wispered, she hated this, she didn't want to have this conversation, she didn't want to have it at all, she tried to avoid it, but if there was one thing that she had learned about him in the past year, it's that wen he wants something badly enough, it's his, there's no way to fight that, and she new very well that he was determined to talk her out of this state of mind, he had spent the last ten months trieing, she shook her head, she couldn't understand it, wat could someone like him possibly want with someone like her? Wat was she worth to him? Wat could she possibly be in his eyes? Perhaps he was just blinde, perhaps he couldn't see how dameged she was? Perhaps he had no clue wat she was capable of, "You're crazy, you no that don't you? I'm in love with a crazy person," she looked up at him, wide eyed, he was just stareing at the ceiling, he laughed fakely, "Imagine that, I gotta tell ya' Rukia, this would make one heck of a novel," she kept stareing, he finally looked down at her, "Rukia? You always talk about 'forbiden love' being romantic right? Wat makes something 'forbidden'?" she was caught completely off guard, she new in the back of her mind that this was all just part of some scheme to get her to talk, but, still..."Something is forbidden...wen one or more people of higher standerds say it is," Ichigo looked confused, "Is OUR love forbidden?" "In a way ....yes, it is,.... Soul Society dosen't care, not since you've made it ever so clear that you'll kill anyone and everyone that gets in your way, but....it's wrong, it's just wrong," Ichigo stood up, stretching a bit, "You are one determined little hypocrit, ya' no that?" Rukia's mouth dropped, "H-Hypocrit?! WERE did you get that?!" "Rukia, you just said it yourself, something is only forbidden wen one or more people says it is, Soul Society dosen't care, but YOU think this is wrong, yet you're upset because of it? You're just dancing around the real issue, YOU think it's wrong, YOU think it's forbidden, and a part of YOU dosen't want to be with me because you're scared, just admit it, that's the truth and you no it," Rukia looked down, hugging her nees to her chest again, "Hey," he nelt beside her, combing his fingers through her hair, "I'm not being mean or anything, I'm just saying, ...it's hard for me too, you say things like 'it's wrong' and 'it's fobiden', so I want to make it ok, I want to talk sense into the person that says it's wrong, because I want to make you happy, but how can I do that if you're the one tortureing yourself? Just tell me how I can do that and I'll leave you alone, I promise," Rukia bit down hard on her botttum lip, she wanted to cry, it was all true, so why hadn't she seen it before? "Just tell me wat you WANT, not wat you think is right, not wat you think about yourself, not wat anyone else says or thinks, tell me wat you WANT and we'll work through the rest tohether," "........You," she wispered, her teeth digging back into her lower lip, "Then we'll work through the rest together," he said, she bit down harder, causing blood to emerge, she didn't care, she was just confused, he cupped her face, and kissed her sweetly, his tounge lingering on the self-inflicted wound to lick the blood off, "Oh Honey, don't bite your lip! That's a horrible habit! Almost as bad as doubting yourself," she stared wide eyed, but then smiled softly, she understood, self-doubt isn't something that you can choose to do or not to do, it's an involentary action that just.....happens, due to years and years of it becomeing a habbit, and just like wen you bite your lip, wen you doubt yourself, you'll bleed, and Rukia didn't like to bleed
Rukia sat outside on the steps, she smiled at nothing in paticular, just smiled, stareing up at the sun, holding her chappy doll in one hand, Ichigo came up behind her and sat down, "Hey There Shortie, feeling better today?" he looked down at her, she looked up at him, smile still plastered on her face, "Wat do you think?"