Hey there, pigeons:

This is PerfaPox, here. Welcome and thanks for visiting my little world.
Name: Well, my real name is Becki
Age: 20 (I'm an old fart)
Height: 5'2''
Location: Texas, United States....No, I don't own a horse.

Likes: Drawing, painting, octopi, anime, manga, YAOI, writing, roleplaying, chocolate, sour candy, antiques, piercings, tattoos, money, sleeping, staying up until the crack of dawn..and more obviously, but why list everything?
Dislikes: Bugs(mostly cockroaches), Annoying/dumb people, condescending people, homophobes, etc.

Want to know anything else? Ask.

I miss roleplaying.

But it's so hard for me to meet good roleplay partners these days.

I also need to work on drawing and stuff.

True Story.

O hai gaiz. It's been awhile.

I'm so neglectful of this poor website..Good news though, I've been drawing more? lol

my art has been going through a transitional period lately..changing up my art style a bit more..making it more semi-realistic because I like that :I Maybe sometime I'll get around to uploading them...but who knows? OTL

Super Excited!

Somehow I've gotten the drive back to REALLY start drawing again. No more piddling around--I need to pick myself up and get my mojo back. Doodles here and there just won't count and won't cut it anymore. If I want to be as good as I dream to be, then I've got to put forth the effort, right?

Just got sai on my laptop, so I'm hoping i can learn to use it really well and start making some super pretty artwork :) I wanna hone in on the different types of styles I want to use--because you know what? I'm an artist. My style doesn't need to be consistent unless I WANT it to be. SO THERE. Gonna be buying some more copic markers here soon too, as well as some water colors and an airbrush kit(SO EXCITED FOR THAT). So with all these mediums at my disposal, I
m hoping I can be inspired enough to push my comfort levels and my boundaries and draw more!

I'm considering starting to do commissions as well..I think that might help me decide on what to draw, and also experiment with poses etc.

Anywho, I can't wait to start. Gonna do my best not to get discouraged or lazy ><

It figures.

It figures that on my BIRTHDAY the one person that I want to talk to hasn't messaged me yet. Don't know if she even will. She spent the night over the other day and we parted on sort of...weird terms (in my opinion). She insisted that she was just tired--which could be the case since she's always really bitchy when she's tired. But I dunno...I was getting really irritated with her because I had somewhere to be and she wouldn't hurry up and leave. I feel bad for rushing her...but I wouldn't have had to if she just got her shit together faster instead of laying around playing with my cat. It sucks that I feel bad over something like this...I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. I want to text her so she'll text me back..but this time I won't. This time, I'm gonna just bite my tongue and get over the sickness this gives me. And if she doesn't message me--at all--on my birthday..it'll just prove that I've always been a better friend to her than she's been to me.

Wrangled into a 'Not Date'

Got somewhat tricked into going to a ‘not date’ with one of my more recent guy friends, Kyle. He’s nice and everything, don’t get me wrong! He’s absolutely hilarious and our conversations are pretty damn funny. He’s also entertaining to text with..which is new for me because most guys I text with get boring pretty fast lol. I can definitely see him as becoming a good friend of mine (I need more guy friends!) But it’s apparent that he probably wants more from me.

Unfortunately for him, not only do I not like him in that way..he’s got a bit of a disadvantage on his side: He’s friends with my boss. The reason this is a bad thing? Because the guys at work (and Kyle) are the BIGGEST GOSSIPERS THAT I KNOW. JESUS CHRIST. They are worse than little kids!!! And I know for a fact that if anything were to happen between us it would get around to EVERYONE. And that is just NOT okay with me. My personal life and my work should be two separate entities. After what happened with Alan, and his blabbing to everyone that we made out, the idea of dating anyone within work right now terrifies me. It’s MY goddamn business who I wanna make-out with. No one elses. That’s awkward and uncomfortable. It was not okay for Alan to tell anyone, in my personal opinion…especially after his stupid speech about wanting to keep everything hush hush and not make ourselves into anything official so we wouldn’t be found out.

Oh wait, that made me think of ANOTHER disadvantage Kyle has going for him. He’s friends-more or less, if not acquaintances-with Alan as well. And I don’t trust those dumb, gossiping boys. Alan will find out(including everyone at work and possibly other branches of the company I work for) and thus I will feel like a giant slut. SO. No thanks, Kyle. The cons outweigh the pros at this point.

What I don’t know is how I’m going to make sure he KNOWS it really ISN’T a date and that I’m not interested in him (or dating at all at the moment until I can work on my self-esteem). I don’t want to be rude about it or forceful. I’m hoping I can avoid the situation entirely and he’ll eventually read between the lines. But that probably won’t happen. I just don’t want to hurt his feelings or anything like that or ruin the possible friendship we could have. I guess if it comes to that, so be it. But I don’t want it to. Ugh. Why am I so stupid?