Got somewhat tricked into going to a ‘not date’ with one of my more recent guy friends, Kyle. He’s nice and everything, don’t get me wrong! He’s absolutely hilarious and our conversations are pretty damn funny. He’s also entertaining to text with..which is new for me because most guys I text with get boring pretty fast lol. I can definitely see him as becoming a good friend of mine (I need more guy friends!) But it’s apparent that he probably wants more from me.
Unfortunately for him, not only do I not like him in that way..he’s got a bit of a disadvantage on his side: He’s friends with my boss. The reason this is a bad thing? Because the guys at work (and Kyle) are the BIGGEST GOSSIPERS THAT I KNOW. JESUS CHRIST. They are worse than little kids!!! And I know for a fact that if anything were to happen between us it would get around to EVERYONE. And that is just NOT okay with me. My personal life and my work should be two separate entities. After what happened with Alan, and his blabbing to everyone that we made out, the idea of dating anyone within work right now terrifies me. It’s MY goddamn business who I wanna make-out with. No one elses. That’s awkward and uncomfortable. It was not okay for Alan to tell anyone, in my personal opinion…especially after his stupid speech about wanting to keep everything hush hush and not make ourselves into anything official so we wouldn’t be found out.
Oh wait, that made me think of ANOTHER disadvantage Kyle has going for him. He’s friends-more or less, if not acquaintances-with Alan as well. And I don’t trust those dumb, gossiping boys. Alan will find out(including everyone at work and possibly other branches of the company I work for) and thus I will feel like a giant slut. SO. No thanks, Kyle. The cons outweigh the pros at this point.
What I don’t know is how I’m going to make sure he KNOWS it really ISN’T a date and that I’m not interested in him (or dating at all at the moment until I can work on my self-esteem). I don’t want to be rude about it or forceful. I’m hoping I can avoid the situation entirely and he’ll eventually read between the lines. But that probably won’t happen. I just don’t want to hurt his feelings or anything like that or ruin the possible friendship we could have. I guess if it comes to that, so be it. But I don’t want it to. Ugh. Why am I so stupid?
