There's an annual Thanksgiving dinner held for a small group of people at Kenyon the week before break. Last year, when announcing what I was thankful for, I said something like, "I truly appreciate all of the wonderful people I know both here and elsewhere, and for all the people who have helped me grow since arriving at Kenyon."
This year, I said, "I'm thankful for all of the people out there who really care about me, and that I'm stable and healthy no matter what problems life throws at me."
Which I think is the difference between now and then: a lot more problems. There's been a lot of... I don't even know what that has occurred since last year. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I'm going through an awkward growing phase in my life, where I cry too much but every week is still an ADVENTURE.
And I'm beginning to admit it to myself: I'm probably romantically in love with someone who doesn't quite love me back in the same way. And as tragical as that sounds, the way things are right now, it's... actually not so bad. I'm not being unrealistic and I'm not acting on my possessive impulses... in general, I think I've been dealing with things well. And he definitely loves me, even if he's not in love with me. At the very least, if this sort of experience doesn't help a person grow, then I don't know what will. :)
So here's to future dilemnas and growing and whatever else happens! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
