To keep things short and bittersweet: the whole DHB drama came to an end last night... and he doesn't like me back. I don't want to get into the complicated and awkward details of it all, so I'll just say that I didn't actually admit anything to him, but from what he told me last night, I am 100% sure that he doesn't think of me as anything more than a friend.

BUT. I took it surprisingly well. I'm not torn up over it at all, really... I'm sad, of course, but after our conversation last night, things pretty much just continued normally between the two of us.

A few weeks ago, I admitted to myself that I wasn't willing to risk my friendship with him to possibly become something more. Friendship is extremely important to me at the moment, more than romantic relationships... so maybe that's why I took it so well. Because he's a great friend and maybe that's enough.

In a sense, this is a good thing b/c I will prob act a lot less reserved around him from now on, since now I know that there are no intentions behind his compliments or anything and he just does and says everything as a friend. Though it's def. a bad thing in the sense that I now have to tell the eight or so people from the summer program who know about my crush that it just ain't happening... I'm really starting to hate how public this whole thing became. :(