This actually occurred Friday night but I've been so HELLA BUSY that I couldn't post it until now. So I was playing video games with DHB until the wee hours of Saturday morning and apparently it was a huge party night b/c people would intermittently come stumbling into the lounge and proceed to make plum fools of themselves. And one of those people was my old CA from the summer.
For some background info, this CA and I weren't exactly the closest people during the program, but we def. got along well enough. But since the start of the school year, I haven't really seen him much lately since he's sort of a "big deal" on campus and has a bazillion acquaintances and was even featured on the Kenyon website last month. So basically, he's a real busy guy and I just don't really see him that much. So the things he said to me while drunk were reallllly surprising.
He basically started off with the whole, "I'm sorry you have to see me like this/YOUR IMAGE OF ME IS TAINTED FOREVER" spiel, accompanied with hiccups and occasional stumbling of course. But eventually I started to feel like he was finally becoming... realer. Possibly realer than I've ever seen him before. It was just weird seeing him so insecure and apologizing so much and even seeing traces of self-pity. (Though he may have been fishing for sympathy, but... I'd rather think otherwise.)
Him: ....I feel like you're judging me.
Me: I'm not! I'm just concerned. This is my concerned face.
Him: I know you're not, but every time you look at me like that it makes me feel so baaaaad.
Me: ....Well... at least you can still smile about this, right? :)
Him: Well yeah.... but I can smile about a lot of things but...
Me: ....
Him: I'm really really really sorry you have to see me like this. This was how I was every friday and saturday night during the summer, but none of you guys knew. I feel like the program was sooooo idealistic for you all and now I'm just ruining it for you. And I had to go to the high ropes course and I had a headache and it was terrible but none of you knewwwwwwwww
DHB: *cracking up*
Him: WHY IS HE LAUGHING??
Me: .......facebook chat.
Him: Oh.
Me: .....Have you vomitted?
Him: Of course not! Please girl, I'm not that bad.
Me: Ok ok, just asking. See at least you're not as bad as the guys in our hall. And at least you can still party and keep your shit together, UNLIKE other people we know, right?
Him: This is true!! Oh (Bell), I just loooooove you! You like *starts rubbing his chest* fill up this hole inside me and make me feel all warm and whole inside. I miss you sooooo much.
Me: ........seriously?
DHB: *snarky mode* Then what am I, just some guy who hangs around (Bell)?
Him: *snarky mode* You just add background noise to my life, just type type typing on your computer all the time. BUT YOU, (BELL). You're special. You know, you're probably the person from the summer program who I see the most.
Me: ...I am? But isn't (NY Girl) your mentee?
Him: Yeah, but I stay up late and you two are the only ones who I see up late a lot. Why are you two always up sooooooo late, anyway?
Me: B/c we don't know how to manage our time.
DHB: Yup.
Him: Oh. Yeah, me neither.
And then he finally decided to head back to his own dorm (I should've accompanied him now that I look back on it), and pecked me on the forehead before leaving.
........I don't know. I totally wasn't expecting any of that. I always thought that I really was just "background noise" to his life since he has soooo many friends and even amongst the summer program people, I wasn't the one closest to him.... but I guess it's nice to know that he's more fond of me than I thought.
Which brings me to me post title: I think I'm a gay guy magnet. Because the VAST MAJORITY of friends I have here are gay or at least metro. I can get along with all sorts of people, but gay guys just LOOOOOOVE me. (see: Eccentric NYer) I guess my old CA is just another person to add to the list. So if there are any gay guys reading this who need a hook-up, you know who to call. *wink wink*
Kenyon Step Dance Team FIRST PERFORMANCE. THEY TORE IT UP.
