As I was asked for some dating tips, here’s a little write up on some pointers. Of course the reason for dating depends on the end goal and I will be writing for the intent of finding a life-long partner that you can build a relationship with that will last for eternity (seems like a long time, huh?)
So start off with~ ASKING OUT! o.o Such a scary process yes? Well, call me old fashioned, but I believe in chivalry and the guy should take the initiative. Of course girls still should do their part of encouragement and such. Well, from either case, before going out on a date, it helps to know something about the other person. If you have a class with them, see them at work often, etc. that is a good start. Take the opportunity to talk to them and get to know what they like and such. Have you guys been on some group activities together yet? That’s a good start to form a friendship, and ideally a person would want to marry their best friend, so having that friendship is good before actually dating. If you haven’t, you can start by inviting the other to a group thing with your friends, like a party, picnic, board games, hiking adventure, or something that allows you the social time to get to know the other.
So when it comes to a date, it is CRUCIAL for the guy to have a PLAN of what to do.
Now every person is different, so what I would consider a fun date another girl might not. That is why it is important to find out what the other person likes. Like I like anime and video games. So I go to anime club to meet others with the same interest. If a guy were to ask me to come over and play at his house, great! I go over and he introduces me to a fun multi-player game or even one I’ve already played like something from the Tales of series. But if I go over and he intends for us to play Halo... -.- fail...There are girls that like Halo, but I’m not one of them. But talking things over ahead of time should avoid a situation like that. Simply talk beforehand, “So what video games do you like?” “Have you ever tried Halo?” etc and then you can plan accordingly. If in doubt, it’s okay to have a few ideas like choosing three games and being like, “Which one do you want to try out?” but don’t just be like, “Let’s go on a date, what do you want to do?”
It’s okay for the date to be simple. You don’t have to go on something extravagant, especially the first time. Something fun and easy. Simply find something you enjoy, the other person enjoys and go do it together. (Later on in the relationship you can try new things the other person likes and visa versa)
Other date IDEAS could be~
Frisbee/Shoot some hoops/Play catch
Hiking/Bike riding/Walk around the park...swings...
Cooking, learn a new recipe, or teach something...then eat it afterwards!
Drawing or other crafts...even one-person activities can be done together, it’s okay to be creative. Go somewhere inspirational and both work on something, even if neither of you are artist, you can both try something fun like drawing the other upside-down or non-dominant hand, or with your feet.
Take advantage of the weather—make a snowman/snow angel, rake leaves and jump in them, water balloons
Service! Go to an old folks home and sing to them, or play card games. Do a scavenger hunt to see who needs dishes done, garbage out, floor swept. Any community project that you can go help out on. Maybe even watching a bunch of children (if you both like kids)
What events are going on in your town? Dances, Fairs, Concerts, Workshops, etc.
Disney Karaoke! (yay for nostalgia, right?)
Hm...I didn’t put movies on the list, are they okay? Well I guess there’s nothing wrong with it, except for the fact that it limits the social interaction. Although if you both like movies and there’s one coming out you both want to see, go get ice cream or hot chocolate at Denny’s or something afterwards so you can still have that time to exchange your ideas and views on it!
Okay, so you have a date, here’s some ETIQUETTE:
Guys hold the door open for girls! (This impresses them big time!)
Girls wait for the car door to be opened (I know it’s hard to wait when you get to the place you’re going, but it gives the guy an opportunity to be a gentleman)
Please walk beside them, not in front or behind...I had a date where I was high heels for a dance and we walked up the hill in the ice and my date was 6 steps ahead of me the whole time while I was trying to not slip...not fun. If he was beside me and aware, he could have offered me his arm for balance.
You want to be your best self, but you also should be honest. Of course you don’t learn everything about the other person right away, but still be yourself.
Make sure the other person is having fun/enjoying themselves.
If you had a good time, be sure to let the other person know. Any honest compliments are worthwhile to be said, like if they have a good arm throwing a ball or were brilliant how they got past a part of the game.
What about all the physical stuff?!
Do you want to get me started on my philosophy on that? There are many philosophies about this. It should come down to what you are comfortable with and what the other person is comfortable with. It may be awkward to talk about, but if you want to do something, you should ask first instead of making the other uncomfortable by just doing it. And remember, your actions do communicate to the other.
I believe that physical affection is special and should mean something. There should be substance behind it, and so for me, it shows the level of commitment and our relationship.
To me:
Hugs=friends
Holding hands=boyfriend
Kiss=You better darn well be planning to marry me!
Anything else= You better darn well be my husband!
I know the media shows of otherwise, but this is for a lasting relationship, something that will last past when you grow old and ugly...well no matter how wrinkled you are, you’ll still be beautiful in true loves eye. It does make it better to wait to give your whole self to that one other person, it is worth it! Kiss me because I’m cool, don’t think I’m cool just because I kiss—does that make sense? That sounds weird XP
Anything else specifically? I suppose my closing statement for dating is since there are so many variables and everyone is different the main advice I would give is COMMUNICATION IS KEY!
I guess we can open up the comment box for Q&A now XD
Begin Dear Abby...or is it “Dear Refi”?
