I’m smiling. In the mirror I see my fat face framed by my brown curly hair, untamed and unruly. My thick legs and bulging belly don’t even fit in the mirror, I have to move side to side to see my entire body. A tear rolls down my cheek and stops at my chin, I let it drop and stare into the mirror, willing myself to become pretty.
Picturing what I want to look like, my perfect me. I glance back at the mirror and gasp at the sight. Long black hair, smooth as silk; reaches down past my thin waist and to my knees. My… no this beautiful girl’s face is small and delicate. I’m afraid when I reach out that touching her face would ruin the beauty of it. My fingers touch the glass and I flinch back from the mirror. Long bangs move away from my eyes and a clear, sharp, blue, rings my black pupils.
My entire body is reflected in the mirror and I break into a smile, perfect teeth framed by perfect lips and perfect dimples on the side.
For as long as I can remember thinking I was ugly and fat I always had an alternative me to change into. She is the me I created when I first got the idea of what I wanted to look like if I could be anyone but me. Everyone in my family has a me that they can turn into but instead of me, Leah they would turn into another one of their selves. Everyone in my family has a different number of selves and so far I only have one but I’m still growing. I have the real me and the perfect me.
I spin once, twice, and a third time just to make sure I’m still… well perfect. My phone rings and I dive onto the bed to answer breathlessly, “Hello?” I glance at the caller id and see my best friend’s name. “Hey Leah, this is Ryan, I was wondering if you could come to a party with me and my friends this Saturday?”
My mouth drops as I sit on my bed, silent for a minute or two. “Yo? Still there Leah?” Ryan asked. I quickly clear my throat and accept his invitation. We say goodbye and I hang up. I run over to my calendar and circle Saturday. This will be a long week.
On Monday I went to school and came home. Nothing interesting happens on Mondays. I went to school on Tuesday and came home, I got a mysterious package but it turned out to be a wig for my sister’s cosplay costume. On Wednesday I went to school and fell flat on my face during lunch. On Thursday I glance in the mirror before I go to school and see the real me, ugly, fat, and messy. I sigh before I run outside to catch my bus. When I get home I see a package addressed to me and run it into my room. I rip the package open and take out the dress I was going to wear.
It’s strapless and red. My dress is as bright as a fire truck and just as attention grabbing. If I tried it on I wouldn’t fit in it, it’s for my other self. My perfect self. The dress would be skin tight on my perfect self; a large black bow sits at the tiny waist, on the back of the dress with the two legs of the bow reaching farther than the dress. The dress is a bit above my knees probably the shortest I could pull off without girls calling me names. I know they will be jealous.
On Friday I tried on my entire outfit, from the dress to the shoes, it’s all perfect.
Saturday finally came and I prepared for the party the entire day but it won’t matter I’ll change into my perfect self for the party. The party Ryan invited me to. I smile at this thought and twirl to lunch. Hot dogs for lunch, gross. I grab some stuff out of the fridge and make a fruit salad before I twirl back to my room. It’s almost time for Ryan and his friends to pick me up so I stare at my mirror on the wall and concentrate. I picture what I want to look like, my perfect me and when I blink my eyes I’m the perfect me, my favorite me.
I quickly pull on the dress and shoes, put on some sparkly make-up and some sparkly body lotion. I’m proudly looking over my work when a beep sounds from my front lawn. I yell to my mother, “I’m going out,” and run out the door with my purse in hand. I walk up to the convertible no doubt in my mind I look gorgeous. Ryan is in the driver’s seat looking shocked and his two friends just look ravenous. I think their names are Timmy and Sam. “Dude you didn’t tell us she was a hottie,” One of the guys mumbled.
I start to open the door but Ryan stops me, “I’m sorry I’m waiting for a friend. If you join us we won’t have enough room for her, sorry.” Timmy scowls as Ryan says this. I stare at him with my doe-like eyes. I guess he doesn’t recognize me. “I am your friend. It’s me Leah,” I chuckle. He narrows his eyes but let’s me enter the car, “How do you look so… different then Leah?” I chuckle and wink at him as I bring my index finger to my mouth. “My secret,” I say tauntingly. He goes red and snaps his head forward, flipping his dark brown hair as he starts to drive. Sam is staring at me out of the corner of his eye so I wink at him.
We get to the party and I have a blast. My favorite part of it is dancing with Ryan. Even though Ryan is taller than me he is easy to dance with. A slow song comes on and Ryan and I start to sway. He hesitantly pulls me into his warm chest, his long, thin arms hugging me to him. I stare into his caramel eyes and he stares back, our lips only have an inch of air separating them. He leans down and touches his soft lips to mine. It is a sweet kiss but it ends before I can have some real fun.
His arms around my waist, my head on his chest, and his legs are entangled with my own. Not dancing or swaying just standing there.
