Hey...

I said before that I don't want to post anything sad but right now, I don't know what to do anymore.

Yesterday, I just randomly broke down. I have no idea why. I thought my depression came back. But I just felt like dying. I hated myself all over. Today when I look back at it, I have no clue why I felt that way and why I was having constant emotional breakdowns (it's been happening many times this summer). And this is the weird bit; I become depressed, then I'm happy, then I'm depressed again. That kind of sounds like I'm having mood swings, but it's not the same. Maybe it is or maybe I'm depressed. Maybe both.

I want to get rid of my depression but I don't know how. I don't know why I'm depressed. That's the problem. If I knew, I would focus on that thing that's making me depressed and think of some positive things that could come from it and how I could use that obstacle to help me in the future.

I want to know how I could find the source of my depression. Have you ever felt like I was? How did you overcome it? I don't want to fake my happiness anymore.

~Ri-chan