Eddie stood with his arms at his sides. He turned slowly; he had a dumbstruck look on his face like a confused baboon.
"What the hell was that about?" he said. Suddenly, he paused. He looked into the distance, near a black, beat up old Camry parked across the street. He pointed at something.
"I saw someone there!" he shouted. "Who the hell are you? Show yourself."
There was nothing that could be done. He saw. There was no undoing it.
I stepped out of the shadows; the light illuminated my face. I stood under the streetlight like a film noir villain.
"Stan," Eddie said. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Dude, I followed you here," I said. "You seriously didn't see me?"
"Why the hell would I be looking out for you?" Eddie asked. "And what the hell is with that get up?"
Eddie gestured toward me. I was wearing a black suit covering a white shirt and black tie, black dress shoes, a black leather jacket and a black fedora. I also had on fake glasses.
"It's a disguise," I said. "I got it at the Halloween shop. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull reignited the popularity of Indiana Jones, so they have a shitload of costumes for sale. They even had that weird Nazi guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark! Most useful thing I ever bought. Nothing post-face melting, though."
"Forget who you are," Eddie said. "Why are you dressed up like that?"
"Come on," I said. "You seriously don't know? I was following you -- making sure you were showing your lovely date a good time." I winked at Eddie.
Eddie was silent. He seemed torn among rage, confusion and madness. He searched for the right words to eloquently state his feelings.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," he said.
"Nope," I said.
"No, you were not following us," Eddie said, waving his hands through the air. "When we were in front of the theater--"
"I was hanging out by the wall, away from the light," I said.
Eddie froze. He collected himself and continued.
"In the theater--"
"I sat in front of you."
"When we were driving?"
"I drove beside you."
"At El--"
"--Torito. I was there too. Good food."
"Just now?"
"Here I am," I said, spreading my arms. "You caught me."
"Give me one reason why I shouldn't pound you right the fuck now, you son of a bitch," Eddie said, walking toward me.
I reached into my pocket and took out a $50 bill. "Because I'm here to reward you for a job well done."
"What?" Eddie said. He stopped.
"Don't tell me you forgot," I said. "You asked her out, you showed her a decent time and she didn't maul you at the end of the night. You won, Eddie. Here you go."
Eddie took the money. He stared at it for a moment and stuffed it into his pocket, and then he looked back up at me.
"You going home, Stan?" he asked.
"Yeah. Want me to drop you off?"
"Yeah, thanks," Eddie said. "Shit, I was wondering how I was going to get home. I didn't want to walk all that way."
"Haha, she actually bought that you live around here?" I said.
"I guess," Eddie said. He walked over to my car and got in.
"So, what are you going to do with the money?" I asked.
"I don't know. Haven't decided yet."
"You could always take her out again. Maybe this time you'll even get a kiss."
"Oh, fuck off, asshole. I'm never doing this again."
I drove Eddie home and then went off toward my house. After I made the turn off Eddie's street, though, I made my way back toward Christine's house. I left an envelope with her name written on it taped to her door. She knew what was in there.
This was a weird night. I expected them to kill each other by the end of it. What better way to spend $100, right?
Not what happened. They were still intact; I was out nearly half my week's pay. I could have destroyed the night if I had shown up a bit earlier and spoiled everything, but it didn't seem worth it. Maybe a bit too cruel for me.
I wondered if they would remember tomorrow. Probably not. Things are different at school than they are out here, alone. They'd bury the night and pretend it didn't exist. Maybe it didn't, after all. $100 doesn't buy much of a fantasy.
I went home and slept the rest of the night. The evening filled my dreams.
---
For anyone who didn't read this post, Stan is Eddie's best friend. I couldn't think of a way to smoothly integrate that factoid into the story lol.
