having a friend is like
having pee in your pants.
everyone can see it,
but only you can FEEL it.
thanks, for bieng the pee in my pants^.^

Oh gosh. That intro was written ages agoooo. The cringe is real.
:Image:

djhdj

2/3/2010
8:00 PM*Eduardo*:
im brinigin sexy back! lol now i can actually ask u how the bf is
……………………………………………………………………8:13 PMPatricia:
this wld be her man wats up lol
……………………………………………………………………8:14 PM*Eduardo*:
lol not much just chillin, whasz yo nayme cuzz?
……………………………………………………………………8:15 PMPatricia:
jesus garcia ey kll her up and tell her dat im online lol
……………………………………………………………………8:15 PM*Eduardo*:
oh i see. hey will ima be blunt with you iigh?
……………………………………………………………………8:15 PMPatricia:
ya for sho
……………………………………………………………………8:16 PM*Eduardo*:
you best treat her right. i only live 6 hours away and im down in dodge constantly. if i hear ur mistreaten her and fuckin wit her heart ima find yo ass. ya hear me? she's ahh nice girl. dont crush her.
……………………………………………………………………8:18 PMPatricia:
ight no man i aint that type of man im dat type of guy who always seem to get cheated on but no i wont cheat on her im so honest wit her cuz once we started tlking i started takin to her ryte away homie
……………………………………………………………………8:18 PM*Eduardo*:
iighh denn foo, you seem likee ahh straighhtt guyy buhh ima be real withh you that wayy. gladd we got that outt the wayy
……………………………………………………………………8:19 PMPatricia:
no problem homie and yuh eva need a job just tell me i got jobs for anything anywhere
man i think she on buuu idk lol kallher up and tell her to get on mine
……………………………………………………………………8:21 PM*Eduardo*:
a job?
and i aint got a fone nowhere near or else i would lol
……………………………………………………………………2/3/2010

8:24 PMPatricia:
yup lol ok nvm she trying to tlk to me and i keep jumping myspaces lol
……………………………………………………………………8:24 PM*Eduardo*:
wat u mean by job?
lol oh so stick to one
……………………………………………………………………8:27 PM*Eduardo*:
okay so jesus or patricia? lol

Is this how anti-socialasts do it?

I don't know what's up with me, guys...Before, I was all hyper active, and i liked to think of myself as the ditsy one of an anime. But i don't know, now I completely lost touch with all of my friends, we used to be so close. Granted, they still are, but I guess I'm the odd one out. My "high-school debut" wasn't going well. In fact, it was as if i wasn't there. In the hallways, I wouldnt be the main attention, but me and my friends kept it HILARIOUS and really, thats all that I wanted.All that I needed. Half of middle school loved me, because i was nice, funny, sincere. And the other half hated me for being loud and obnoxious. I guess I never really had a taste of solitude. But here I am. THose that liked me, dont know what to make of me. When my name popped up in conversations, it'd usually go "Oh yeah!! Good friend" and now it goes "What happened? She so...different" and that other half? They don't quite know what to make of me either. I guess they don't hate me now. I ant believe that this is happening to me. I had a huge list of people that loved me, and now....well I just feel so lost and kinda chilled. I feel a kind of cold. Could it be loneliness? No matter how hot the water in my baths get, its always there. And then I find myself with silent tears. I always feel like crying. Not heaving, but just having a couple of silent tears fall. I completely lost myself. Before, my favorite color was RED, SCARLETT RED, BLOOD RED. And now? Grey. Concrete slab gray. Not silver, gray. And this loneliness constricts my throat, and brings it to a close. Now, I eat lunch, and I eat it with my only friend. My only other friend is in Texas. { i love you, Lili-pad...}
I need help coping with this, and no comments are needed, its helped a tone just typing this out
As for the title, I lost all self-esteem and self-confidence. No longer am I normal. I am timid and scared. I guess I am an anti-socialist. We took a quiz in a class today. It said that I was an introvert. The sub was an old teacher that knew me back then. She kept making me do it over and over and over again, she couldn't believe it. And each time I re-did it, my loneliness grew, and grew, and GREW because it kept coming out the same, telling me that I had changed. Confirming the reason why no one longer approached me.

i nedddddddd a gay bestie!

Diamonds may be forever, but it turns out that a gay boy is actually a girl's best friend, according to a new book that is the first definitive guide to the 'fag hag'.
That many straight women set great store by gay male friends won't surprise fans who've watched Will and Grace sharing the secrets of their souls, or Sex and the City's Carrie and her screaming-queen buddy Stanford or Madonna and Rupert Everett, on- and off-screen.

Now a new book chronicles the (mostly) ups and (occasional) downs of having a gay man as a girl's best friend. Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys - true tales of love, lust and friendship between straight women and gay men was launched in New York last week with a rainbow of hysterical real life stories and a few predictably melodramatic tear-jerkers. One of the book's editors, Melissa De La Cruz, said she sought to puncture the high-camp stereotype by telling how her gay male co-editor Tom Dolby was the rock-solid shoulder who was most there for her out of all her friends when she suffered a miscarriage and she and her husband were heartbroken. 'He was a real man,' she said.

Much happier reinforcing the stereotypes was fashion writer Karen Robinovitz, who had 'bridesgays' attending her at her wedding instead of bridesmaids and whose best friends and objects of unrequited lust growing up were always gay men. 'My friends muse that my love affair with boys who like boys is out of emotional safety, but I wholeheartedly disagree. It's all about fashion,' writes Robinovitz in her chapter Shop Girls.

While her female friends are competitive when shopping and 'secretly want your ass to look fat', her entourage of gay men makes her feel like 'Marie Antoinette and her court' as they encourage her to buy extravagantly, telling her she looks divine, while 'holding my handbags more gracefully than I do'.

Sitting to one side at the New York launch was Robinovitz's husband, Todd Cuso, a professional motorcycle racer. 'Her gay boyfriends are a fantastic bunch and they have that shared excitement about fashion,' he said.

Writer Armistead Maupin wrote the book's foreword, explaining that his era-defining Tales of the City columns, books and TV series about gay life in Seventies San Francisco were intended as one of the first public celebrations of 'fag hags', who feature as foils to his gay-blade protagonist Michael.

In real life Maupin had two straight women as close friends in those days. 'I shared everything: my exploits at the baths and the heartbreak that inevitably followed when I tried to turn playmates into lovers. I was braving the masculine wilderness for the first time and it helped immensely to have women on my side.'

Maupin also celebrates Audrey Hepburn's Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's and Liza Minnelli's Sally Bowles in Cabaret as his fag-hag idols when younger.

But while Maupin and the book's editors believe the fag hag is alive and well, British contributor Simon Doonan, creative director at posh New York department store Barney's, believes that punk, gay liberation and 'the new man' have killed them off. Doonan claims fag hags became obsolete because straight men are now less 'obnoxious' to be around.

De La Cruz described how, despite unrequited lust for the gay boys at her university, she valued their encouragement. 'They told me I was attractive and pushed me out there to start dating. I was 22 and still a virgin and they made me go on blind dates and they were the ones who gave me the confidence I needed.'

She said she and Dolby wrote the 'first literary guide to the fag hag' because they knew the relationships were everywhere but went 'deeper than Sex and the City or Will and Grace' and they wanted to chart it. Dolby said it was irresistible for gays and their fag hags 'to talk about men they were attracted to, knowing they would safely not be competing for the same man ... Gay men just love drama and that fits perfectly with straight women, who love drama too,' he said.

And now....

And now, let look back on random stuff.
My World's are soooooooo dorky! I still have no background! How astonishing!
@_@ Another thing. How do I get my picture up on the indroduction? BLECH

welp, guess what?

I'm currently a..........
X.xFRESHMENx.X
And I LUV it! I'll finish this story up, but WOW my life has been going FANTASTIC ^w^

Dedicated to all those that need a bit of warmth in their lives

And as we reminisce, the wind blows in our faces.
As if to caress, and apologize, every time we forgot our places
With every past laugh, surfaces an upset time
And bring out pencil and paper, for now we Rhyme
I'm not tha same little girl as a was in fourth grade~
Though myself higher;now, Im jux unworthy; There's a price to be paid
Look, there's a wonderful summer breeze-Children are playing outside
I looked through the window,inside i died, before, i woulda cried
Weak from being weak.
Do you have the help, that I so dearly seek?

{BEFORE~}
C'mon, my dear buddy,dear friend! Lets frolick in tha meadow!
But before that, lets put our initials on my window,
to symbolize our eternal friendship
I love you so much, enough to give you my last chocolate chip
Lets pull on my Little Pony boots, pink over-alls,
Lets play with my mommy's old shawl
My barbie wants to play with you! Wanna go to to my wedding?
Who knew what a horrible turn my life would have? Trouble heading my way-

{PRESENT}
Go take your fake smiles,& I'll politely tell you where to shove it
My face has a scowl, as if a lemon I had bit
Every thing and intention is violent and used to bring pain
Dont try to open my feelings up-ill leave, lickity split
i don my heavy eye-liner, rock out to MCR,hair has huge scene style,
Goth boots, forget whore hoops "It's a while, why don't you ever smile?"
My Edward Scissor hands toy wants to meet your wrists..
Now all i wanna do is add my name to Death's list
Through this tough exterior, I still need a hug
I still wanna play; But my die-hard attitude is comparable to that of a thug
I wish a had a friend, and i wish that you could see,
Inside Im cold but i just need to be worked on. Its important. Important to me

You can't hurt me, with the things you do
I'll pick a dandelion,and I'll give it to you <~ Last part was from tha PowerPuff Girls

OH! AndDedicated to KYOKUN! yhoos os fawesome, luff! ^__^