Envy
I'm standing across from my sister with fire burning in our eyes. Do not let yourself be fooled like me; This war between Amber and I has lasted for longer than you think...
January 18th, 1316...
"Amber I want to play now!" Amber had been playing with a toy that I had received from Fyora the day before. "Fine! Play with your stupid toy you big cry-baby!" Amber threw the toy again our living room floor; the impact forcing it to break into pieces.
I got down on my knees and started to cry. Mom and Dad were at the grocery store, so there was, as usual, no one to witness Amber's cruelty.
Tears fell from my eyes. "You're such a stupid baby." Amber said, annoyed. Amber sighed, and went upstairs to her room. I stomped my way up to my room as well. "At least I'm not a big JERK!" I screamed before slamming my bedroom door and crying into my pillow...It wasn't even the toy that had hurt me, it was her words...
After a while, I realized something..."It's too quiet for Amber to be annoyed or angry..." dread swept over my small frame as I held my pillow closer to me. I suddenly smelled smoke. I fallowed the smell to Amber's room...I remembered when we first got that house. "If you ever come into my room, I WILL KILL YOU." Amber said through gritted teeth...My stomach was acting as if it were on a roller coaster; flipping and sinking as I turned the knob that kept Amber and the real world apart...
I stood in the doorway, fear had taken over my whole state of being...
The bed, floors, the walls... The whole room, engulfed in flames. My sister was standing in the middle of a pentagram. A goat was decapitated, blood pouring from the spot where its neck and head were supposed to be, on the floor. Amber caught on fire and spun in the puddle of blood, laughing. She faced me. "Sissy!" her bloody smile was shown as innocently as everyone believed she was.
I suddenly felt light headed. The whole room began to spin around. I fell to the floor, weak. The hallway walls lit up, as bright as the sun. The intense heat bounced from the flames and engulfed my whole body. The smoke devoured the air around me, working its way into my lungs like a poison...Everything around me was slowly growing blurry and dark...
"Lia, wake up!" my sister slapped me. "You interrupted my ritual!" Amber lipped. All I heard was a ringing sound. My head began to throb in pain. Amber held the collar of my shirt in a fist. Suddenly, I heard the roaring of a fire, and saw pieces of the hallway fall from the burning ceiling. Amber growled. "Come on-we're going to the old man's farm, and you're getting the goat!" Amber boomed. She was referring to an old man who had a farm who loved a couple of miles from our house. She began to drag me down our stairs by the back of my collar.
Bump.
Bump.
Bump.
With each step, pain was struck throughout my whole body. My ribs ached in pain, my lungs felt as if they were shriveling up into nothing...
I grew just barely enough consciousness to see that Amber was no longer engulfed in flames, but her clothes were burnt off at the sleeves, and she was covered in ash with a burnt smell that surrounded her. Amber dragged me across our living room and outside onto the cold January ground.
"Amber!" my parents rushed over to Amber, who dropped me the second she saw our parents. I tried to stand. My lungs ached. I suddenly began coughing and choking on my own air. My whole body was in pain. I hadn't exactly caught my breath, but I had stopped coughing. My lungs only ached more as I used my last bit of strength to face my house. I gazed upon our burning house. Flames painted the exterior, as it did the interior...Embers and ashes danced together in the cold wind that was like razors cutting into your skin, leaving such a painful stinging sensation.
As usual, everyone thought that Amber was the hero. She was in newspapers with the headline of "YOUNG GIRL SAVED OLDER SISTER IN HOUSE FIRE." She was rewarded, and labeled as an angel. While I on the other hand was proof that she was an evil child-my fractured ribs almost punctured my right lung, and my arm was broken...All because of her.
But on that day...That day I understood why Amber never cleaned, why they catered to her every whim, why she always got the bigger room even though I was the oldest, why they only went to a school play to see her part, and left before I got to even got on stage...I saw everything...
School. I hopped that at least there I was going to have something...Even if it was only one friend... I was wrong. Amber was still the center of attention. She was smart, pretty, had lots of friends, joined every school program, was great at sports, was always in trouble...She was perfect.
Me, on the other hand... I struggled in school. I had no friends because of my pale, pale skin, and dark eyes turned people off. I was always quiet. My black and white hair made people think that I was an old ghost of some sort.
And she's always beat me at everything. I was always just barely behind her... In fact, I was so close, that that little point shouldn't even matter...But THAT ONE FUCKING POINT MEANT EVERYTHING TO ME.
She was always so happy and perfect... Mom and dad loved her more-favored her if you will. Nothing I ever did made them love me, appreciate me, or even notice me. I was always in Amber's shadow... Always...
By the time I was 15, I couldn't handle it anymore... I had to fill in the whole in my heart where my parents' love was supposed to be. I tried smoking, drinking, sex and drugs...Nothing worked... Nothing eased the pain...Nothing...
September 30th, 1325...
I was washing the dishes as usual....
I reached into the sink-full of silverware that needed to be washed and colorful disgusting dishwater. I grabbed a knife by the blade by accident. The palm of my hand was throbbing in pain. My thick blood slowly oozed from the wound... I found it enjoyable to watch my blood slowly pour from me... I suddenly felt something...Something...great...new... I felt so...
Alive...
November 1st, 1325
It was raining. My parents picked Amber up after school. I walked home and no one was there... They never showed up.
November 16Th, 1326
In the corner of my room, bleeding to death, I wondered what made me this way. I reflect on my 15 years of misery...
Abandonment...Yes... They ignored me like I didn't even excised. All because of Amber.. My heart began to take its pain, and coat it in hatred and anger. She always got everything. Mother and Father always ignored everything I did. She was always the one getting in trouble. They blamed me.,, I gritted my teeth, and suddenly, all pain was released from my heart...A new emotion was replaced; anger...hatred...rage.
At that very moment...I knew...I knew Amber had to die...
Lia was standing on a mountain, facing west with her long hair flowing gracefully in the wind, dancing along with the innocents in the gentle white powder softly falling from the sky. At that same moment, Amber was facing east, standing on the edge of an active vol canoe, her hair glowing gently along with the ashes and embers. Thoughts were sheared between the two sisters...
[Lia Amber] soon we will meet... And I will kill you. the hatred in their eyes were as dark as a moonless night, yet ready to burst into flames and burn with the same excruciating pain of a thousand suns.
We stood on the windy tundra, our hair flowing gracefully with the wind. Finally, the moment I've been waiting for...Amber's death.
I jumped high into the air and grabbed my silver sword by its iron handle. But I knew better than to think Amber would let her guard down, not even for a second.
Before I land, she disappears; allowing my blade to impale the thick ice, making a crater and deep cracks in the ground. I pulled my sword out, filled with hatred drenched in rage.
I slowly turned around, sword in hand. My black Kimono with white silk branches making violent turns and flowers with slits at the thighs and bell cuffs was flowing gently in the wind.
I suddenly charged at Amber. Again. And again, and again. With each new charge, a new step...Another familiar...Another grunt, each charge jabbing the air harder than the last. She keeps dodging...That's all she's doing. I began to get frustrated. She wasn't even trying! And her eyes weren't even open! "Fucking fight!" I shouted, trying to stab her once again. Big. Mistake.
She grabbed the blade, and slowly opened her eyes... They were taunting me...The darkness, the way they faded brought me back to haunting memories... Everything was slowed down, all sound was blocked out except her ghostly words. Her small mouth moved. I heard no sound come from them until it was too late.
I was shocked...Scared. I had fallen for her trap. Her words rung in my ears. Her voice, small enough to barley hear, calm, settle... "You're mine."
She pushed off the blade, helping her with her back-flip. We were just close enough to allow her to kick me under my chin. The force of her flat shoes sent me flying backwards.
She landed lightly on her feet, just barely tapping the ice. Her bell cuffed black and red Kimono with slits at the thighs was flowing so gracefully in the air. Her eyes were closed. Did she open her eyes only to speak?
She reached into her left sleeve and pulled out a sword the same length as mine. The blade was made of steel, her handle made of gold with a red ruby just below where the blade and handle met.
I slowly got up, blood dripping from my mouth. I tasted the ironic liquid pouring from my tongue, leaking from my teeth.
Amber came running, swiftly, her sword held by the very end of the handle, her arms out like a plane in order to gain speed. She was slightly lower than me,
I suddenly felt extreme pressure on my stomach. I couldn't scream, I couldn't breathe. All air was wiped out from my my lungs, being filled with that same coppery taste as before as more blood gushed from my mouth. My eyes widened with pain as she dug her knee deeper into my stomach.
I fell onto the hard-as-concrete ice with great force. I felt like my back was going to shatter into a million pieces, if it hadn't already. Stinging pain was sent throughout every bone in my body. I could not breathe. No matter how hard I'd try. My lungs ached in pain, my stomach hurt so badly, I just wanted to rip out my intestines just to make the pain go away...Much like my heart...
Amber tried to stab my heart. Pain stakingly, I rolled over to the side, dodging her blade. She tried again. I raised my foot, my back and stomach hurting like hell, and stopped the blade. The blade rubbed against my bone. I pushed on it with all my might. The blunt handle was jabbed into her stomach. Coughing up blood, I could tell by her wide-eyed expression that she was in pain.
Her blood splattered on my face. Yes... Blood shed... What I've wanted all along. I pulled my foot out, leaving the sword in the air. My blood dripped from the sharp blade. My whole body, screaming and begging me to stop. My mind, ordering me to keep going till she begs for mercy, Don't stop till her heart has. 'Till I've killed her...My...my sister. NO. I backed away from that thought.
In Amber's moment of weakness, I stole the sword from her hands. Her cuffs swayed. I caught of glimpse of something...familiar.
I kicked her chest, sending her flying across the ice, leaving marks to where she was. She was flying at such a fast rate, she skidded across the edge of the tundra, onto a large glacier.
As I rushed to her, I saw the pieces of skin that belonged to my sister...My...My sister... one thought replayed itself in the far back of my had.
I jumped onto the glacier, and fallowed more skin marks. She was at the other end of the glacier. I threw Amber's sword into the ocean.
I grabbed my blade... A spot light was placed on me. Savoring the bitter sweet moment, I whispered, "Mommy and Daddy can't save you now." just before impaling her through her chest. I felt the blade go through her bone, and go deep into the ice. Amber screamed in agony and pain. I even saw her shed a tear. Aah. The wonderful taste of her misery...
I slowly pulled the blade out of her chest...Slowly. Amber screamed and cried more. She began to beg me to stop. When I was just about to take it out, I pushed it in even harder than the last. Amber screamed. Her blood splattered onto me.
"Please... Just get it over with..." I pulled my sword out of her. She's lost so much blood...And it's so cold. She'll die of pneumonia. Or hypothermia. I turned around, blood on my hands, sword by my side. "No."
Just as I was walking away, I heard Amber crying tears of sorrow. Sorrow?? I just stabbed her twice in the chest, and she's crying because of sorrow? What can she possibly be crying over?
A tear dropped from my eyes. A voice in the very back of my head spoke... Lia, you monster! She was your sister! Another tear fell from my eyes. I kept walking. It was too late to save her, even if I wanted to... I tried to ignore her cries for help. Eventually, my conscious became my own thoughts...Arguing with myself.
"You monster!"
"Not like she loved me!"
"How do you know?"
Silence.
I felt such pain in my heart, and my wrist began to tingle once more. Her cries for help ran through my skull. "Lia!,,,Lia!"
All sound was muted. I stopped dead in my tracks. I could not move. I could not breathe. Shock. Filled my body. My tears poured from my widened eyes uncontrollably. Amber's words struck through my heart, sending electricity through my body, paralyzing me. Tears were brought to my trembling eyes. Her voice repeated itself in my mind.
"I'm Sorry!"
I dropped my sword, still shocked by her words... I ran to her. She was standing, but fell. I held her in my arms...My little sister. Tears began pouring from my eyes, like streams and endless rivers of relief and guilt. A small stream of blood dripped from the right corner of her mouth.
"Good God...What have I done?" I asked myself, holding Amber closer to me. Pain was struck through my heart more than it has ever before...
"Lia...I'm sorry.. I've ignored you most of your life...Even when I didn't, I was so full of hatred. I wanted your place...So that way Mom and Dad didn't expect so much out of me..." Amber rubbed my right cheek with her cold hand. Tears still fell. "I've always cared...I just didn't know how to tell you. I was always in such pain because I knew what you felt...I'm sorry." Her voice was quiet, small, raspy... She was dying... And it was all my fault...
I cried even harder. Amber tried to stand up. She stumbled. Fear paralyzed me, and swept my breath away...
Amber fell into the ocean, her feet and hands floating above her, reaching out as if she was still conscious. She used her last bit of breath to speak. "I love you, Lia." she said her unheard words as she thought them,
She slowly sunk to the bottom of the Arctic water. Lia let out a stretched "No!" loud enough to crack ice, long enough to seem to last for an eternity...
Epilouge
Lia cried in her room for months on end, holding onto Amber's favorite Kimono-the one Lia made for her as a birthday present.
"Look sissy-isn't it pretty? I stayed up all night making it for you! Do you like it?" Lia held up the long bell cuffed red kimono with black lace trimmings made of silk. "I don't hate it." was Amber's subtle reply.
It wasn't until then that Lia knew that when Amber said "I don't hate it" she meant "I love it." Lia held the sword she used to kill Amber with tightly in her hand. The blade on her neck was cold, sharp.
Suddenly, the door opened. Lia looked to see who had opened her door. She put her sword down, and ran over to her fantasy...When she felt her arms around some one, she fell to her knees, still holding onto them by the waist, crying tears of joy. Her fantasy smiled...
"Amber!"
