Exeona's Memoir

It had been many many years. I had always existed. Even before time itself. How is this possible? Anything is when you're God. I was bored. I had existed long enough, with not a thing to do. I had found an atom within a universe within a different dimension. I had aloud the chemicals in the atom to expload, thus, creating another universe and demension to play with.

I had learned that already knowing what was going to happen was too boring. So, this time, I gave my people and my angels free will. I wondered who would all fallow me. I saw the chemical soup. I had scooped a small bit into my hand, and with it, created my first son; Adam. I popped the yellow bubble around him (he had slowly evolved there from the chemical soup), and he was born. I new automaticly he'd be lonely, bored, and upset without some one else... As was I. I shall create woman. I thought to myself. I took a rib from Adam, and with it's blood and guts still on it, I created a woman for Adam. I nammed her Eve.

Lucifer and I have never necessarilly gotten along-not even when he was an angel. Often times I'd catch him starring at me in strange ways. One day, I was working as usuall. Writting stories of the animals that were there. That's how this works. Each living creature has it's own story. Each a beginning, each an ending, all with exquisit detail. Lucifer had came from behind me. He threw me onto the ground, and sat on top of me. He held my wrists down to the ground. and lunged for my neck. I put my hands in front of his face, and pushed him back with such a great force, he had broke through the wall and landed in the courtyard. How dare he!? How dare he attack me!? While I am working non the less! How dare he!? Back then, I was such a stiff. Back then, I was God.

I drew my sword, and placed it upon the front of his neck. "Lucifer. As punishment of attacking me, you are to be sent to the depths of hell. Far below the earth, far below all life. You shall never see the light of day again. You and all of your fallowers shall suffer. I cast ye away, forever!"

That was such a long time ago. Even since then, Lucifer had done everything he could to ruin it all. I tried to make this world as less sinful as I possibly could. I couldn't just hand everything to them. It would make it too easy. If we were all just handed the things we wanted and needed, we could not act on our own to get what we want or need. How can they have free will that way? "Adam, Eve. In this Garden of Eden, you alloud to eat from any of the trees. Acres and acres of trees you may eat from--except for one." I stood beside the forbiden tree. "You may not eat from this tree."

Lucifer made sure that that plan failed as well. I tried to help even more, by sending Jesus Christ. Once again, that was a failiur. Because of Lucifer. It has always been that way.

I was roaming the earth. No one saw me. No one heard me. No one even knew of my existance. I wondered what it was like to be human. What it was like to have parents, or to have sibling. So I had created my sisters: Hydra, and Liras. Hydra was calm, sweet, and had plenty of time to sew. Liras, however... Let's just say, with the drinking, gambling, and the fact that she lost her virginity to an already married man after an hour of her existance due to her intoxication, her and Lucifer would have gotten along well... Had they ever met.

The Mayans and the Aztecs had seemed to prove nothing. One day, Lucifer said to me: "You see their wars. You see their bloodshed. You see their betrayal, their anger, hatred, sadness, fear, and their constant selfishness. You understand that on a daily basis, people break the ten commandments. They commit almost all seven of the deadly sins. Why do you still say that they are beautiful creatures? Humans are discusting." I looked down into my fountain of pure mercury. With this, I could watch the earth. I said to him "They are my children. I love them. They are beautiful. They are interesting. They learn. They stick together. They make mistakes. That is why they are called human. That is what makes them imperfect; their emotions, and their mistakes. Nothing can be flawless, for nothing can be beautiful." He said to me afterwords. "That's bullshit. You are flawless, and you're still beautiful." I suddenly looked up, only to see that he wasn't next to me anymore. He was gone. I decided that my time on earth was getting boring, and their emotions were starting to develop within me. Anger, most of all. But, also fear, and love. Sadness, definitly. And... something else... That I couldn't put my finger on... What was that emotion?

Just before I had reached the heavens, Lucifer had grabbed my ankle, and he pulled me back down to the earths. I screamed. The fear of the humans had gotten their hold on me; better than Lucifer's grip. I tried to escape. I say tried, because the pain of his darkness mixing with my light was too much to bare. I had not wanted this. He held me down onde more. Within my fear, sadness found it's way in. Within sadness, despair and become of the mix. I did not want this. I could not scream; the pain of him slamming into me was too much. It hurt Lucifer as well, for my light to be near him. But he enjoyed the pain. He enjoyed the conrol.

My angels could not save me. My people could not see me. I was helpess.

Three months before a full year, I had given birth to my first two born sons. Lucifer was next to me, holding my hand. He was drunk. "I want to name. The first. One." He hiccuped after each period. "His name is. Miss. Chif. Silverwell." Lucifer said, and passed out. I was too afraid to dissagree. I had nammed the seconed one Geniku Rin Silverswell. My first children, and they were with Lucifer. After Chif and Geniku, I had given birth to twins yet again. This time, I had nammed them both. The first: Ember Lin Silverswell. The second: Amber Ash Silverswell. All together, I had thirty children; Fifteen Guardians of the Light, Fifteen Guardians of the darkness.

The Fifteen Guardians of Light (in order from oldest to youngest):

Geniku Rin Silversell (male)
Lia Yin Silverwell (female)
Yàmine Rei Silverwell (female)
Ameil Ra Silverwell (female)
Emera Sin Silverwell (female)
Liria Min Silverwell (female)
Yan Voch Silverwell (female)
Marasin Vich Silverwell (male)
Recha Yan Silverwell (female)
Vech Kin Silverwell (male)
Sinja Yim Silverwell (female)
Grin Mei Silverwell (female)
Apathane Krei Silverwell (female)
Morah Jir Silverwell (female)
Amorhpia Fjin Silverwell (female)

The Fifteen Guardians of Darkness (in order from oldest to youngest):

Mis Chif Silverwell (male)
Draven Rain Silverwell (male)
Anoev Ravar Silverwell (female)
Nerha Shin Silverwell (female)
Yamar Mein Silverwell (male)
Jarack Shjin Silverwell (male)
Hyperia Tyien Silverwell (female)
Ramè Gin Silverwell (male)
Bomius Rif Silverwell (male)
Jaren Remna Silverwell (male)
Harren Rell Silverwell (female)
Grellüs Ma Silverwell (male)
Jrin Ma Silverwell (male)
Ember Lin Silverwell (female)
Amber Ash Silverwell (female)

Most of our children immediatly ran off to live with Hydra, to have the human experience, to find their purpous, or just wanted to leave. Chif, Geniku, Lia, and Amber are the only one's who actually stayed with us until they were old enough to survive on their own. Lia, being death, had to stay with me. Amber, being queen of the underworld, had to stay with Lucifer. Chif and Geniku, despite their duties, did whatever they felt was right. I could always feel Lia's hatred and anger towards Amber.

One day, when Amber and Lia came home from school, I noticed something on her cheek peeling. I stopped her, and touched it. It felt like synthetic skin. I peeled it back, and found a tattoo of a flame covering her entire right cheeck. "Amber Ash Silverwell!" I was in utter shock. Lucifer came in, and saw. He smiled, and hugged her. "I love you, Amber. You're just about the only one who has came through for me."

And that was the first time he had ever said "I love you" to anyone. I was there, merely for the sake of the children. I could have left if I wanted to. And I did want to, but I'd rather be rapped by him ever night (like I was) than to hurt my children. I, on the other hand, said "I love you" to all of my children. I did not make them work for my love, unlike Lucifer. Lia had always been in compitition with Amber. I don't know what it is that got into my poor daughter's head that she had to be better than her sister-- that she had to work for love. Perhaps, she just wanted Lucifer's love. Just his attention. Just some appreciation.

What she didn't realize, is that she was doing all of the wrong things. No matter what Amber did, Lucifer would have been proud of her. She is his favourite after all. Amber got a detention for telling the teacher to shut up or fuck off, he laughed about it. Lia got an A+ on every subject, he just brushed it off. When Amber first crashed her car and got sent to jail for a D.W.I., he bailed her out and he talked about his first D.W.I. When Lia got into a car accident (because drunken Amber was the one driving), he just said "Stop whinning, you pussy." and walked away.

Lia tried her best to get his love, respect, and appritation. She just didn't realize that Lucifer isn't an appretiative man. She got good grades, did well in school, got a good job, does all of her work, and only kills people because it's her job. But Lucifer doesn't care. He never has. But I suppose asking Satan to be appreciative is just too much to ask for.

Through some amazing light, behind all of the fights, behind the crying, through the rapes, through the abuse, through the lies, through the fear... I fell in love. I had never told him this. He'd only know that he had me even more in his control. I can't believe it. I have became the very thing that I used to be ashamed of, the same thing that made me sick inside; pathetic.

It was my own fault that peoples' wings were changing from silver (the colour saying that you have found the person you will spend the rest of forever with) to any other colour. Everyone-even humans-have a set of angel wings. Mortals just can't see them. Only an angel's wings can be white. After Amber and Lia had left the house, Lucifer realized the one thing that I always knew; our children were our only reason to be together. Our wings weren't silver anyway, we were just waisting our time with eachother.

If your wings are white, then you are pure, like an angel. That is why only Angles can have white wings.

If your wings are yellow, then you don't have a forever buddy.

If your wings are green, then you are jaded.

If your wings are silver, then that measn you found your forever buddy-the person you will spend the rest of forever with.

If your wings are purple with sliver speckles, then you have found your would have been forever budd.y A would have been forever buddy is some one that would have been your forever buddy if your forever buddy hadn't existed, if you would have never met, or the event that took place to make your forever buddy your forever buddy would have never happened.

If your wings are grey, then you are depressed.

If your wings are black, then you are lost, or broken. You have lost all hope cannot be saved; fallen. Usually at this point, your feathers begin to fall off, and then your wings shortley afterwords. Once they have fallen off, then you are foresaken int the name of God, and you can never get them back. You will spend all of your afterlife in hell.

If your wings are sky blue, then you are innocent.

If your wings are silvery or a pearly sky blue, then you are insane, yet innocent.

If your wings are red, then you are forever endulged in hatred, regret, and or anger.

Eventually, I found some one else. His name was Torhu Honda. He was a preist. He was an ideal human being; smart, funny, beautiful, sweet, and he knew just what to say at the right time. He was my son, yes, but I had given up on that so long ago. Not much seemed to matter to me anyway. I had loved him.

Torhu pressed his lips to mine, and I kissed him back. Our tongues danced, and then something appeared out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see Lucifer, engulfed in flames. "May I help you, Lucifer?" I said, annoyed. Torhu looked like he was about to shit himself. "I just came for my blanket." Lucifer helped himself to my bed, grabbed the blanket we used to share, and then came back into the living room. He looked at Torhu. He seemed to have been whispering something. Chanting. "Lucifer, that is enough! You left me, now get out!" I said. He walked out of my house, and slammed the door shut. I held Torhu, and he looked up at me. Again, we began our embrace. I sensed that Lucifer was wacthing through the window. When I went out the next morning to check the mail and found that my roses were nothing but ash, I knew that he was still lingering. Why would he care? He left me.

News of Lucifer and I splitting up found its way to our children. Everyone was waiting for it, even if they didn't admitt it. Amber didn't agree. Chif said that he was happy because Lucifer couldn't hurt me anymore, and Geniku said that as long as I was happy, we was too.

A few months later, I had heard Pselia screaming "Lucifer!" at three o'clock in the morning. That was enough for me to hear to know that he's moved on already. A sudden pain penetrated my heart when I heard that scream of pleasure. Oh well, I'll get over it. I kept telling myself that over and over again.

Then came the ordeal with Nanami, Christopher, Juun, Emma, and Adam. It wasn't until their long battle over who loved who more, and who was going to keep Adam did I realize it. I'm just as human as they are... I walked through the doors of some one that I trusted, even though she was human.

"Ayomé." I said, smiling. Ayomé turned to me, and dropped the cup of tea that crushed onto the ground, and shattered into a million pieces. "L-L-L-Lor-G-God...!" She stammered. She obviously had no clue on how to react. I lifted my hand into the air, and the cup of tea found its way back into Ayomé's hands, with it's contents in it. "Ayomé, you are the most loyal out of all of my subjects." I smiled at her. She stepped back, and put her hands on her mouth. She realized, that instead of skin, white silk touched her lips. She looked down and saw that she was in a white dress with pink fuzzy trimming. Off of the pink, came black lace, a black chocker with a burgandy jewel; the same colour as her eyes. I gave her a pair of white flat shoes, and put here hair up as well. "Ayomé, will you be God?" I asked, putting my hand on her shoulder. "Y-Yes, my lord..." she said.

I watched her first test closely; making Nanami feel warm and happy. He had been in love with Christopher for the longest time. At first, Christopher's forever buddy was with Genmaru, but he was still in love with Koda. So Christopher waited. Nanami's forever buddy was my son, Geniku (who was no longer an angel). But Geniku new that it was never ment to be between the two of them, so they left. And then Nanami and Christopher got back together. Before Nanami was with either of them, he was with Emma, who he impregnated. They had nammed their first born son Adam. But he never got to live. Shortly after that, Nanami left Emma. She spent a little bit dating guys for their money, and then found Juun.

The Three Sisters of the Heart (in order from oldest to youngest), Jullian, Jessica, and Claire decided that Nanami and Christopher's wings should be silver. They're not supposed to be able to do that. But because I was almost completely human, it was almost as if there was no God, and they were able to do that. But fate decided to act upon itself, and in this case, Nanami got to choose who he wanted his forever buddy to be. That is why their wings were blank-clear.

Nanami was crying. "Please... Please don't make me choose between the two. I love Emma, but I love Christopher too... Please don't make me choose." Ayomé hugged him. "Nanami, you have to choose. Think about who made you the happiest. Think about who you would miss the most." Nanami looked up. "I choose Christopher." Ayomé smiled. "I... I don't want to keep Adam-I'll mess everything up. I'd make a horrible-" Ayomé put her hand on Nanami's shoulder. She smiled, and said to him "Nanami, you're the strongest person I know. You know what it's like to have a messed up child hood because of your parents. You know the pain they caused you, you know the mistakes they made. Because of that, you are more equipped than Emma. Emma never had her parents to make mistakes for her. All she ever had is Lizzie, and Lizzie is too over protective, and neither of them can see that. You'll make a great father... Because you'll know what not to do."

It was then that I knew that Ayomé would do a better job of being God then I ever will. Even Nanami said "Ayomé, you're much better at this than Exeona. She'd just say that I was a fuck." wich was true. Nanami is a fuck. So, I didn't take any offence to this. Namami ended up with Christopher, and kept Adam. Emma and Juun stayed together, and had a baby girl nammed Thayma-the greek word for 'Miracle'.

Torhu and I's wings are no longer silver. Neither were Lucifer and Pselia's wings. When I gave my powers to Ayomé, everything suddenly hit me all at once. The fact that I wasn't human helped me hold back my emotions. But the fact that I was no human... It was too much. Suddenly everything that I didn't feel hit me. I litterally fell to the bottom of my apartment floor. I had absolutly no will to move. Tears just poured from my eyes. I had no will or energy to live, or to eat. I had no reason to be. All of my children hate me. Amber felt as if I never loved her, she felt the same way that Lia felt with Lucifer towards me. The pain of never being able to help my two daughters with their addiction to alchohol and cutting themselfs was over-whelming. The fact that all of my children had lost their virginity before marrige, the fact that they all caused trouble and I couldn't do a thing about it. The fact that just about everyone died becuase of my neglagence. The fact that I had abandoned those who didn't believe in me, when it was but my fault they had lost hope to begin with. How selfish and self loving I was in the beginnig made me sick. The fact that I was forcing people to always love eachother. I was so dissapointed in this world, in this life... But most of all, I was dissapointed in me.

I had become exactly what I hated. Human.

Sloth. The one sin that I commited. I didn't have any will to speak, no matter who was talking to me. I had no will to eat. No will to sleep. No will to walk. No will to bathe. After I had cried for 72 hours straight, I couldn't cry anymore. I just sat there, in the dark, day and night, in my kitchen. Slowly rotting. I new that I was rotting, but I didn't care. I couldn't possibly have cared less about anything. Eventually, I fell to the ground (I was sitting up against the wall). The thud made a knife from the kitchen table fall to the ground. I slowly crawled towards the knife. I slit my wrists. So this is how Amber and Lia benifeted their pain...? I was human. I could die.

Lucifer walked into the room, and he quickly took the knife out of my hands, and threw it to the wall, making the knife impail the wall instantly. He began to scream at me. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? Is this going to fix anything!? What about Chif!? Huh? What about that bastard Torhu!? What about Geniku!? Amber!? Lia!? Huh!?" I just sat there, taking it. Like I always have. "Are you even going to respond? Are you just going to sit there and rot?" Silence. Lucifer fell to his knees, and for the first time, he eld me, crying even. My blood was getting on his shirt. I closed my eyes, embracing in his warmth. I love you Lucifer... He stood up, and my eyes opened. He walked over to the knife, and held it to his throat. Suddenly, I was no longer a vegitable, but a human. "No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

But it was too late. Lucifer had slit his throat. It wasn't until now that I had realized that his horns, wings, and tail were all gone. He was no longer Satan, but human. As was I. I craweled to him, and I held his hand. Tears flowed across my face. He was already dead. I suddenly felt warm. My body temparture was dropping, but I felt warm. It was that strange feeling that I had in the beginning. A strange feeling that beneath all of that sarrow and pain, I knew existed.


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I woke up on my stomach. I was bare. There was a soft breeze allowing for the soft cool grass to brush against my face. My left hand was out. I was awake, but my eyes were closed. I slowly opened them, and I gasped at the perfect figure before me. He had black hair, and icey blue eyes. He was still pale, but God when the moonlight hit his face, he was the most beautiful thing on this planet. He too, was bare. He was on his back. His hair was just barely past his breasts. I looked a bit past him, and saw bright silver wings. I smiled at him. This was a smile that I had never smiled before. His wings were silver. "Lucifer." His eyes fluttered open. He was in a daze. He turned his head to me, and smiled. "Hey. Exeona." I smiled. "I love you." He scooted closer to me, and held me. "I love you too." Then there was silence.
I heard a voice. Her voice was warm, loving. Her voice was calm and sweet. Sincere, and subtle. She spoke, clean, and calm:

"My name is Ayomé. I am God. I give to you all this land. You may name all of the creatures. You may eat from any tree, except for this one."


I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

End