I remember everything like it was today, the first time I ever thought about this, on my ninth birthday whilst I was blowing the candles on my Samurai X cake (Yes, I was manic about Rurouni Kenshin) my mother, alongside with my friends tapped my back and hugged me, and, as expected, a female voice across the room yelled:
"Now go under the table and think of a wish and when you're done, you have to scream!!!"
I thought it was stupid, and I still do, but I didn't want to ruin the mood, so there I crawled under the table and started to think of a wish.
Why would I need to think about something as simple as a dream, until then I never had problems doing it, I always had a word or something that bugged me, that year, nothing came, I crawled out of the table without screaming, and my friends started complaining at me:
"You should've screamed !!! Now your wish is not going to be fulfilled!!"
I sighed and laughed, so I guess they ignored it and started asking what did I asked for. I didn't know what to do, so I gave them the simplest and most a**-licking answer ever: "World peace, of course!"
The adults all bawwed at me, and my grandma seemed really proud of it, but the reality was, I never thought about or cared about peace worldwide, even until now, am I too selfish or is it just something that'll come when I get older, am I too lazy or too confident?
We all stood there for some more hours playing playstation and some beyblading (How could I!? It was crap xD), but I couldn't get it off my mind, why couldn't I wish for anything so soon, then, they went to their homes.
I stretched myself, and I think I went to see some tv, since I was in the living room with my parents (at the time we were still a pretty hard family, not like now but it's all fine), I gazed at the christmas tree, all glittery, switching on and off...
And this thought came to my mind.
"What if this is all a dream? Couldn't I wish, because I'm so programmed on someone else's memory, someone bigger?"
From that day on, almost 7 years later, I still have the same problem... Didn't you ever thought that this is all a dream? That you are the main character on your novel, and if it all ended there, it wouldn't matter, because it's a dream, a memory from something superior, another you... When you dream the strangest things happen, if you think carefully, in our daily lives strange things happen too, war, hunger, anger, beliefs...?
But then again how could my dreamer remember of so many things, since dreams are based on objects that are stuck on our memory... How could it all be so perfect, so organized...
I turned to my dad, probably the smartest person I know and the one I admire the most, but also one of those that is on a bigger downfall on his life (That's what thinking too much does to you, but if we have the internet and a lot of rl companions we could get this straight, without problems, since you get a lot of opinions, and opinions make us grow, not just our personal view of things) and I asked:
"Dad... Is my life a dream? You know... If I'm the protagonist and you the dearest people to me, are just, my imagination?"
"Ah son, I can't tell you if it is or not, but I don't know if you'll ever know the answer, search for it, maybe it won't be in vain, but don't let that doubt turn in selfishness or it'll ruin your life" he replied (Something like this he said)
...
So.. What do you think?
I would love to know what you know, and It'd also be a good concept for a piece of work (just my thought, and I'm pretending to develop it)!
Kisses and hugs ~~
Koi!
