Chapter Three: Frogs
Heaving a sigh of relief Sakura exited the hospital. She had just finished an extended overnight shift, midnight to noon. The pink haired medic should have left at eight or nine but had ended up staying later to help with some of the trainees. Now she was both starving and exhausted. She had forgone breakfast with the expectation of leaving the hospital early enough to grab something on her way home. Pausing for a moment in the busy square outside the hospital, she took mental stock of what she had in her cupboards and refrigerator. She had been meaning to go to the market that morning specifically on her way home from work since she had been putting it off all week but since she had spent the couple extra exhausting hours at the hospital she no longer felt a desire to go food shopping even though she really did need to go.
As she debated whether to go home to make something for lunch from her dwindling supply of food or stop somewhere on her way back to her apartment to get something to go, a familiar jonin materialized beside her. She hadn’t been expecting him, but for some reason she wasn’t particularly surprised. She was, however, faintly embarrassed as she had been hoping not to run into him until she had sorted out whatever it was that had been bothering her about their last interaction. The flowers he had left for her had only served to make things less clear for her than they already were.
“Yo.” He raised a hand in his usual greeting, a smile clearly present in his lone visible eye.
She fought to contain the slight blush that threatened to creep over her face. She had been successful in not seeing him since his little impromptu abbreviated massage two days previous and the out of character and what she assumed had to be impulsive gift of flowers the day before. Since then she hadn’t quite been able to sort out her feelings about either of the incidents in her mind. His behavior had been so strange to her that she just wasn’t sure how she felt about either event. Regardless, she had figured she was doing well until seeing him, and of course it would just have to be when she was not at her best. Finally, she managed to pull herself together, her moment of uncertainty under control. Sakura smiled and raised a hand to return the greeting.
“I’m on my way to grab some lunch.” He paused as if he were only then just actually looking at her. “You look like you’re starving. Why don’t you join me?”
She hesitated, unsure if she was really up for dining with him. Aside from the long shift she had just worked, she was still having issues sleeping. Her mind kept rationalizing and re-rationalizing his behavior; the flowers only served to confuse things in her mind even more. As she considered whether to accept she noticed people looking at them and whispering to each other as they walked by or hung around the entrance of the hospital. This was the first time since she had received the flowers that she had been seen with anyone of the opposite sex and she could only imagine what the villagers would begin to say after she was seen with her former teacher.
He sensed her hesitation, but not the correct reason behind it. “Come on, my treat.” He smiled again at her encouragingly.
Giving in she decided to ignore both the looks they were gathering and her confusion over his actions. Seeing him in person, acting as he always did, reminded her of one very important factor. This was Kakashi she was dealing with, not some stranger off the street. Removing the knot from her neck was something he would probably do for any of his friends and he doubtless thought nothing of it. The man probably just felt guilty that he’d not only forced her to traipse over to his apartment in the first place, again, but that she’d hurt herself in the process. Knowing him, he had most likely felt responsible, despite the fact she’d done it of her own free will, and felt the need to rectify it himself.
She was just making a mountain of a molehill in her mind and the sooner she stopped rehashing it the sooner things could go back to normal between them. The flowers, she figured, were just an impulsive gesture of thanks and nothing more. He was probably even enjoying the little bit of drama he had inflicted upon her by setting off all the village gossips. After all he could just as easily left them at her apartment, or any number of other less public venues.
Heck the fact that he hadn’t given them to her in person practically guaranteed that the gossip mongers would immediately begin to speculate. No one in the village would blame her new beau for keeping his identity secret for a little while, especially after her last fairly spectacular break up. Not much had been seen of her last boyfriend, the imprudent man had immediately taken on a four month long mission after their breakup and every other long term mission made available to him ever since.
No – it was fairly clear that he had known exactly what he was doing by leaving them for her in such a public place, full of key members of the Konoha gossip mill. She now had no doubt that her former teacher was enjoying himself, watching the attention she had been collecting for the past day. His first intention may have been to say ‘thank you,’ but that surely didn’t stop him from having a little bit of fun at her expense. Shaking her head from her daze she just now realized the two of them were gathering even more attention in the lunch hour rush standing in front as busy a place as the hospital.
Inwardly shaking her head she dismissed her previous anxiety as silly and only vaguely wished she had run into him sooner. It was foolish to think that he may have had a motive other than that of having a little bit of fun at his former student’s expense.
She smiled at him. “As long as it’s not Ichiraku.” Silently she had to admit to herself that the village would gossip regardless of what she did, so she might as well enjoy herself – especially if it was going to be at Kakashi’s expense. Besides, because of his busy schedule and recent long term mission he hadn’t had the time to take her out and play catch up with her for quite a while and she honestly missed seeing and talking to him.
He chuckled and steered her in the complete opposite direction of the ramen shop, heaving a sigh of relief to himself as he too was thoroughly sick of ramen. In the prison he infiltrated it had been served almost every other day since it was cheap and filling. Between his recent stint in prison and his own laziness for not having gone to the market he could honestly say he had had enough ramen, both home made and instant, to last him a lifetime.
As they walked, seeing the women on the street gossiping about their current beaus and speculating about the two of them caused her mind to shift to her current love life, or rather lack thereof. Thinking about it she realized that perhaps she had been a little over sensitive to her former teacher’s actions because of her recent ‘dry spell.’ She wasn’t one to need a boyfriend to feel validated, though she had enjoyed being in a relationship the few times Naruto and Sasuke had been away long enough for her to find herself in one. Unfortunately most of her relationships, however long or brief, tended to end the same. As soon as her two former teammates turned up in the village the affections of her current love interest would suddenly wane and eventually evaporate entirely. Generally it would start after a visit from one or both of her overprotective friends. She wasn’t too sure what it was they said to her boyfriends, but whatever it was tended to be enough to frighten them off for good.
She knew they thought they were doing it for her own good, but occasionally wished they wouldn’t. It was certainly nice to know they cared, and she could understand why they did it but honestly she was tired of having either truncated relationships or short lived flings. She didn’t exactly want to settle down or get married or anything, but she did want something a little more than what amounted to meaningless sex with men who were too cowardly to even try to stand up to Naruto and Sasuke and fight to be with her.
~*~*~*~
She had been a bit pensive and withdrawn on the way to the small café he had silently selected for lunch. Kakashi had chosen it due mostly to the fact that it was a bit off the beaten track and not frequented by shinobi as often as some of the other eateries closer to the Hokage Tower. As he guided her through the streets he was more than aware of the whispers that seemed to follow them. It was the first time people seemed to actually take notice of him spending time with his former student, which felt strange to say the least.
Honestly he had to admit he was surprised, he was her former teacher and fourteen years her senior. Surely they couldn’t imagine something going on between them other than friendship could they? Unfortunately judging from the looks he was collecting, apparently they could and definitely did not approve. He couldn’t blame them; he was old and quite frankly damaged. She deserved someone of her own generation, someone not quite so jaded or experienced at life and loss, someone who could give her a happy life not one destined for an unhappy ending.
Viciously he shook those thoughts from his mind. He shouldn’t be thinking about something that would never happen, something he would never allow to happen. After all, he was exactly what they said: her former sensei and fourteen years older. The closest he would allow himself to get to her would be as a friend and nothing more. The old man hadn’t really known what he was talking about, he must have been mistaken.
Mentally he took hold of himself, realizing what he was thinking was beside the point. He was letting the little old biddies that dictated the direction of the gossip mill affect his thoughts. Of course he had no romantic inclinations toward the pink haired woman, regardless of what the gossiping women or the old man from the prison had thought. It was only his whimsical action the day before that had brought upon this extra intensive scrutiny of her personal life. The gossip mill was frustrated at not having someone to attach the gift of flowers to and was grasping at the first male candidate to interact with her on a more personal level than that of patient and medic. In other words he was only paying the price of setting her up in the first place. He had intended the flowers to be a thank you gift, but had truthfully enjoyed the bit of drama they were causing her personal life. Silently he groaned once he realized that his little bit of fun had backfired on him.
~*~*~*~
Once they arrived at the small café, the two shinobi carefully made their way to the booth furthest from the windows and other patrons peacefully eating their lunches. After surveying the menus, both placed orders and settled down to wait for their food and drinks.
As they sat Sakura scanned the small café, wondering just what the local wags were saying about her now. Out of the corner of her eye the medic noticed something that made her slump further down in her seat.
His eyes were drawn to her movement. “Ashamed to be seen with your old teacher?” He chuckled at her action, suspecting he knew full well why she was trying to hide.
“Shut it, you! This is all your fault you know!” She hissed, hoping the pair of adolescent trainee medics hadn’t seen her.
He laughed. “Come on Sakura, it can’t have been all that bad.”
She glared at him silently, waiting for the two girls to pick up their orders and leave.
Just as the two were leaving the shorter girl happened to glance her way, accidentally making eye contact with the green eyed medic.
“Aw shit,” she muttered under her breath as the two apprentice medics approached.
He looked at her inquiringly, unable to see the two girls approaching from behind him.
“Hi! Miss Haruno!” The blonde haired girl waved exuberantly as she made her way over to their table, dragging her taller friend with her.
Upon reaching the table the taller girl smiled apologetically. “Hello Miss Haruno.”
Forcing a smile she wasn’t feeling she made a gesture of greeting. “Hi girls, on your lunch break?” Sakura hoped they were on a tight schedule. She didn’t feel like explaining anything to the girls. Regardless of the fact that she was only having a completely innocent lunch with her former teacher, she somehow figured they would be able to twist it into something more than what it was.
“Oh yes! The double chocolate chip muffins here are the best!” The blonde exclaimed happily. “We come here whenever we have a long enough break! The muffins make it worth the extra time it takes.”
“Oh really? I’ll have to try one for dessert then.”
The dark haired girl caught sight of a white clad medic currently waiting for his food and hurriedly checked her watch. Her mouth opened in surprise and she squeaked in dismay. “Come on Mine! Let’s leave Sakura to her lunch with her … er, father. We’re already late!” She grabbed her friend’s arm to pull her away and smiled hastily at Sakura. “Nice seeing you Miss Haruno, and um if anyone asks you didn’t see us, okay?” Quickly she nodded at the un-introduced silver haired man and bodily dragged her friend off with her into the crowd of people toward the exit of the café.
The short blonde waved disappointedly before being pulled out of sight, though not hearing distance as they clearly heard her whine. “But Kotoko we didn’t get to find out who she was with! Did you see all that gray hair? He looked far too old to be her father…”
“Mine shhh! That’s none of our business. Besides didn’t you see Dr. Kagurazaka waiting for his food? We’re dead meat if he finds us out here fifteen minutes after our lunch break ended!”
“But Kotoko… Miss Haruno… way older shinobi…” The blonde’s voice faded into the background noise of the café as the two young trainee medics exited the café.
Once the girls were completely out of sight and sound the pink haired woman let out the laughter that she had been suppressing, ignoring the death glare directed her way from across the table.
~*~*~*~
Once she’d released all her mirth at his expense she idly she toyed with the straw and the ice in her half empty cola as they waited for their meal. “You know what Kakashi?”
She had been deep in thought ever since the girls had taken their leave and her laughter had finally subsided. He couldn’t see why she found something that he thought of as distinctly unfunny to be amusing. Granted he knew he sort of deserved it since the mess she currently seemed to be in was at least partially his fault for stirring up the local gossips but still, in his mind that didn’t merit such a reaction at the inappropriate assumption about his age.
“Hmm?” he asked pulling his gaze from a pair of overly curious housewives gossiping over coffee two booths away. His amusement in the whisperings of the women was definitely starting to wear thin. Silently he prepared himself for something big, what he wasn’t sure, but by her expression she was definitely more contemplative than he had seen her in a long time.
She didn’t bother to look up at him to return his gaze. “It’s just not worth it.” She viciously stabbed her ice cubes with the straw.
“What?” he asked with some confusion. “What’s not worth what?” His attention now fully on her – there were many things she could be talking about, her chosen profession as a medic, or even as a kunoichi for starters. Though he honestly couldn’t imagine she could be questioning her chosen profession, he could tell it was something of equal magnitude.
She looked up at him in surprise, just then realizing she had vocalized what she had been thinking. “Eh, um… never mind. I was just thinking, that’s all.”
“What’s not worth it Sakura?” He repeated, his curiosity aroused by her original seemingly cryptic remark.
“Uh, um nothing, really. It’s nothing.” She looked back down at her cola.
“Sakura, clearly it’s not nothing. You’ve been sitting there steadily and silently chipping away at the ice in your soda for the past fifteen minutes.” He waited for a moment before realizing he wasn’t going to receive a response. “Obviously something is bothering you so spit it out.”
“Never mind, I was just thinking, talking to myself really.” She paused, trying to find the magic phrase to get him to stop asking her about it. “I didn’t really intend to say it out loud.”
He chuckled. “But you did. And, furthermore you even addressed the comment to me. Now what’s not worth it?”
She sighed, knowing defeat when she felt it. “Kissing all the frogs.”
“Eh … what’s this about kissing frogs?” Kakashi asked with clear confusion in his voice. He wondered briefly if he was so out of touch with, what he considered to be the younger generation, that he had somehow missed a new slang phrase involving frogs.
She flushed a little, looked up to catch his puzzled gaze and made a face. “Oh um not actual frogs.” She laughed a little nervously. “Men. My mother always said a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her prince…” she trailed off, looking down as she begun pushing her ice cubes around the glass again. “I guess I’m just sick of it…”
“I still don’t think I’m getting what you’re saying… You’re sick of kissing men? Or rather kissing men isn’t worth it?” He forwent the confusion and went straight on to incredulity.
“Dating, et cetera. It’s more trouble than it’s worth, you know?”
Only barely was he able to conceal his complete surprise as the meaning of her statement finally hit him. “Uh, aren’t you a little young to be deciding that?” He couldn’t quite believe that someone as young as she would make such a jaded judgment about her life.
She shook her head glancing up to catch his expression. “What’s age got to do with it?”
“Quite a lot I should think. Don’t you think you should wait until you’re at least my age before you should even think about making such a decision?” He smiled hoping to give his statement a sense of levity he was far from feeling. The older shinobi couldn’t quite imagine where her recent decision could be coming from; as far as he was aware she hadn’t recently come out of an ill-fated relationship or anything of similar consequences.
She looked at him questioningly for a moment as if not quite understanding. “What does age have to do with relationships?” Before he could even begin to formulate a response she continued. “Age has nothing to do with it. It doesn’t matter if I’m almost twenty-two or almost fifty-two – in the end it’s still just not worth it.”
Deciding to humor her, even if he didn’t particularly agree, he rose to her bait. At the very least he would find out what was really bothering her, though he suspected he may know. “Okay… so why don’t you think dating is as you say ‘worth it’?” Guiltily he wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have left those flowers for her. Perhaps he may have inadvertently contributed the last straw for the troubled kunoichi.
Sakura sighed again and looked around the little café. Even though they were seated in a booth far in the back, they might as well have sat out front in the window for all the interest they seemed to be generating.
“It’s always the same. Not worth the effort.” Her voice was flat, suggesting a finality he hated to hear from her at what he considered to be such a young age.
“Sakura…” he started, unsure what to say to her but positive he needed to convince her she was wrong, concern clearly present in his voice.
She continued as though she hadn’t heard him. “They’re all cowards. Not one of the men I’ve dated has even hesitated in calling it quits once Naruto or Sasuke returned to the village…”
A light slowly dawned on the confused Copy Ninja as he realized what was really bothering the pink haired woman sitting across from him. “You know you could ask them to back off… I’m fairly certain they would if you really wanted them to.”
“That’s not the point! As much as I’d like to blame those two over protective idiots, it’s not entirely their fault.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well …” she blushed a deep scarlet, suddenly wondering how she had gotten into this conversation with him of all people. It wasn’t one she’d ever thought to have with Ino never mind her occasionally overprotective former sensei. “I, uh… Oh never mind, it’s silly. Forget about it.”
“Come on Sakura, out with it. Whatever it is, is clearly bothering you,” he cajoled, having the distinct feeling of déjà vu.
“You’ll laugh, forget it, it’s really stupid.”
“Sakura, look at me.” When she didn’t look up to meet his gaze he reached across the table and lifted her chin to raise her eyes to his. “I promise I won’t laugh.”
Fidgeting she opened her mouth to speak and then closed it. He released her chin and she immediately looked back down at her hands, twiddling her fingers a little. When she spoke, her voice was hardly above a whisper. “If I stopped them… then how would I really know?”
Frowning in confusion he tried to make sense of what she had just said in relation to everything else she had mentioned. “I’m sorry Sakura, I don’t follow.”
She sighed. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she quickly cut him off.
“If they were to stop springing their little challenges on the men I date…” she paused, seemingly having a hard time getting the words out. “I want a man who is willing to fight for me, he doesn’t have to actually fight, just care enough to be willing to… I don’t think Naruto and Sasuke would really go up against anyone. I think they figure if he’s not willing to fight for me then he doesn’t deserve me…” She sighed again. “It’s kind of sweet in an utterly old fashioned semi-insulting kind of way…”
He opened his mouth to say something and found he couldn’t think of anything. She had completely surprised him once again.
She sighed and went back to absently stabbing at the ice cubes in her cola, though her heart clearly wasn’t in it. “It’s kind of disheartening to know that I’ve meant to so little to all of the men I’ve dated…”
“Now Sakura, you know that’s not true.”
“No, maybe not… But it sure feels that way.”
“Sakura…”
“I guess it just feels worse because I can’t really blame anyone but myself for it. Sometimes I just wish I could blame those interfering idiots for being so strong. Maybe if they weren’t, one of the guys I’ve dated may not have given me up quite so quickly.”
“C’mon Sakura, you’re being much too hard on yourself…” he paused and added, almost reluctantly, “I know there are some good guys out there.”
“Yeah right,” she huffed.
“Sakura I know you’re frustrated… but I’m sure there are guys who wouldn’t run from Naruto and Sasuke…”
“Yeah, says one of the few shinobi in this village who could seriously take them on if he felt like it.” She stabbed at the melting ice in her cola again unaware of the implications of what she had just said.
