Love is a fickle thing in life. Life is a fickle thing to love. Here, I express what my life brings to me throughout my existence. Glimpses in the grey area are unfolding and offering you a cup of my reality. Welcome to my life.
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SOME INFO
I've actually been a member since 1/13/09
Name: Shayde
Age: 29
Birthday: 3/14/91 (March 14th, 1991)
Sex: Male
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I just reported and blocked one of my old friends on here for getting too nosy and pushy about my ex and me. I'm not playing anymore about this, guys. Usually I am very nice about things in particular to what's been going on, but it's getting to be too much. Yes, I complain and reminisce and convey how I feel a lot on here, but that's a lot more for me than it is for you guys to read.
Yes, I still miss her! Yes, I still have some feelings for her! Am I going to get better? Most likely! But right now, if I complain, if I bring anything up, if I feel down and express it, does not give you the right to bother me about it, especially when I've specifically said before, DO NOT BOTHER ME ABOUT THE SITUATION. These posts are FOR ME. I'm not changing how I cope, I'm not changing how I expressively hate myself, I'm not changing anything. So stop bothering me with the posts, stop bothering me with the relationship. If anything I would like for us to talk again, but if this keeps up, that's most likely not ever going to happen. So chill out with the messages. Asking me how I'm doing is fine. Asking how I'm doing about the relationship is fine. Pressuring me into trying to do something, or attempting to intimidate me is not fine. Lowering my self-esteem even more than what it is, is not fucking fine.
You're lucky you're messing with me and not her. If anything, in probably the more nicer one out of the two of us when it comes to this shit. And if you are messing with her, you need to stop. Not only because it is wrong, but because she will find you and kick your ass. No joke.
I'm just trying to make my life better right now, ok? I'm trying to live on, and these accusations, these pressuring messages, this intimidation, is not helping me. And I'm not leaving the site because of all that's happening. But I'm about to be on a more "no fucks given" level.
Last Thursday night i went out with a couple of friends to go see 10 Years. It was freaking awesome! Definitely a good band to go and see. I had a blast there and even got to talk to Jesse Hasek, the singer, after the concert. He's a pretty cool, chill kind of guy. And then I had to head home andimmediately go to sleep because it was 11 at night and I had work in the morning at 6! :D yaaaayy~~~
*didnt get that much sleep that night anyways*
Also, I've been thinking about picking up writing again. It's been in the back of my mind for several months now, but I do miss it. Back on my old account I was writing this story about a shiny eevee who was abandoned by his parents because he was different. It was a lot of fun, but then I deleted my account... soooooo that's gone. But, yeah! I'm thinking of the possibilities.
I'm really close to finally finishing my PC. Obviously, I'm going to use it for gaming, but I also want to use it for video editing. I've been thinking about making cinematic machinima and I've had ideas in my head for a few years now. I'm debating on whether I should make a new world or put them on my gaming world to spice that world up a little bit.
That's kind of where I am at the moment. I'm still dealing with depression every other day, but it's getting easier. The stress has gone down some, but some stuff just keeps coming up.
Even though it has been a couple of years, the RWBY Community and RT have lost a great man, creator, and friend to many. He has touched so many people with his works of art, including myself. He is, and still will be, truly missed. To Monty. May he stay in our hearts and memories for as long as possible.
"Keep moving forward." -Monty Oum
My dad really scared me... the thought of losing him was definitely in my mind. So, my dad has cough syncope, which makes you lose consciousness after having a episode of coughs. Anyways, he was in my room asking how to do something on his phone. I showed him and he leaves closing my door behind him. About 10 seconds later I hear this enormous thud against my door and I rush out the door to see my dad lying on the ground, unconscious in the garage doorway. Mom was there and my grandmother was too. Luckily, he woke up. We sat him up and seemed like he was ok. He told us he remembered choking on some peanuts he was eating and lost conciousness. Mom was opening the door to the garage to come back inside and that's when he slammed into my door and fell towards her. I'm just so glad he didn't hit the brick step with his head. He hit it with his neck though... god I was so fucking scared. I was keeping my composure the whole time, but if you had your hand in my chest, you'd feel my heart just rapidly beating. My adrenaline was just through the roof... I really thought he was dying for a sec... he lost his father almost two years ago and I felt like I was about to lose mine...
So, since I'm getting back into drawing I decided I'm going to planning some ideas based on titles that I come up with. I don't exactly have a base idea on how it's going to look or what the anatomy of the characters will be like or anything, but this isn't a speed paint or whatever. I've been out of the field too long to have the confidence to just pop something out and it looking good. This will be a slow process, no doubt, but at least I'll be working on art again. Here are the titles:
Murder Me, Senpai!
Shatterbrained
Go Long!!
Majestic! Like an Angel's Kiss
A Hard Place
Ella Cynder
The Rabbit
These titles and ideas are subjected to change over time for any reason I see fit. Also, I've been thinking of reuploading some old art that I had from my older account. I dunno, it's at least something to show. I'll put the dates in the description and maybe a brief description.
