Shayde

:(

I hate this... fucking I wish I could rip my heart out and feed it to my dogs. Fuck feelings, man! Fuck emotions! I hate this! And I can't do anything about it! Everything is going wrong and getting worse. I hate hearing things and I hate seeing things and feeling things. I hate this... and I can't stop crying tonight.... FUCK THIS!.... it isn't fair... it isn't fucking fair................ I just want this to stop...... it isn't fair.... I can't take it...... burn my heart! Burn it, stab it, crush it, I don't care.... I can't hold it anymore..... I can't hold it........

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Today's going to be a busy day for me. Not like cooking wise or anything like that, god I would ruin a turkey like no tomorrow. XD Nah, I got two family dinners to go to and fill my belly at both. It used to be three when I was little, but one stopped. All I know is I can't wait to go to my grandparent's in... 30 minutes (it's 11:15 btw) so I better write this and get dressed real quick. I'm super not ready to head over to my cousin's house. yeah, family is going to be there but so will be my cousin's baby-daddy. There's not hate between us, if that's what you're thinking, but honestly thanks to him I don't have a job. Long story short, he was offering me about three times the amount I was making at my other job and I accepted only to find out three weeks later he couldn't pay me anymore. I didn't mind getting paid less until you know he could pay me what he was offering, but the motherfucker pretty much just throws me on the street and now I'm here. I've been looking for another job, but no bites and I'm not taking a seasonal job. I'm not going to lie, Louisiana is one of the hardest places in the United States to get a good job, hell ANY job. Especially after the flood happened. It's not like fucking Hurricane Katrina was enough back then sending a lot of New Orleans people to Baton Rouge, now we gotta deal with a lot of people from a lot of other parishes thanks to this years flood. Ugh. I swear things just went down south like crazy for me this past August and September. But whatever, right? I'm gonna have a good day today! Anyway, again, have a great day today and don't use your turkeys as boxing gloves. I might be when I get to my cousin's~:3

It's coming back.

Those feelings are coming back. Those "I miss her" feelings. It's sucking so bad because it's definitely aggravating my stomach again to where I don't wanna eat again. I can't help it, I still have feelings for her. Yeah, I'm trying to continue moving forward, but it doesn't mean my heart and emotions are going to follow me at the same pace... Maybe that's why I was feeling so "unusual" yesterday. I don't know, yesterday I felt so depressed and dark for the majority of the day. I didn't care about anything including friends and family. But I didn't know what was causing it. It could be a whole lot of stress just being built up and released a different way than what normally happens. I don't know, but I know this feeling in my stomach is. At first I thought it was hunger so I made a sandwich and just stared at it for a couple of minutes until I realized I wasn't hungry. God I swear I hate how the human mind works sometimes. I don't want to go through this again... I thought everything was going fine and then bam! ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO EMOTION TIME JUNCTION!!! I hate me. I hate this. I hate the outcome that happened. But I'm trying. Fuck...

Midday Lycanroc = Alolan bae~

Just kidding about the title. XD but seriously Rockruff has two epic looking evolutions I've seen in a long time. Of course, I'd pick Midday over midnight. A lot of my friends that play Pokémon prefer the midnight evolution, but midday captured my heart.

So when rockruff which is level 25 it evolves into lycanroc, but depending on which evolution you want depends on exclusivity. The midday evolution is exclusive to Pokémon sun to wear as the midnight evolution is exclusive to Pokémon moon. In Pokémon sun, in order for your rockruff to evolve into lycanroc, You have to reach level 25 we're up during the morning to afternoon. Pretty much when the sun is out in real life. To get midnight lycanroc you have to evolve during the evening to midnight. I have both versions of the game, but I'm playing son right now so I have midday. My friend Patrick showed me what the midnight evolution looked and I love both, but I prefer midday A lot more.

It's so cool and cute! I caught a female and named it Staccato A couple of days ago, but didn't get to Evald her until level 32 because I didn't know that she had to revolve during the daytime. Honestly, I think that's a pretty cool mechanic for this Pokémon evolution. Remember having to do that back in gold and silver with eevee in order to evolve it into espeon or umbreon. But anyways! I'm probably going to do a fan art on Staccato because why not? I want to get back into drawing and why not use her as a candidate for motivation and get my imagination back on track? :D most likely it'll be a gijinka.

Midday Lucanroc = Alolan bae~

Just kidding about the title. XD but seriously Rockruff has two epic looking evolutions I've seen in a long time. Of course, I'd pick Midday over midnight. A lot of my friends that play Pokémon prefer the midnight evolution, but midday captured my heart.

So when rockruff which is level 25 it evolves into lycanroc, but depending on which evolution you want depends on exclusivity. The midday evolution is exclusive to Pokémon sun to wear as the midnight evolution is exclusive to Pokémon moon. In Pokémon sun, in order for your rockruff to evolve into lycanroc, You have to reach level 25 we're up during the morning to afternoon. Pretty much when the sun is out in real life. To get midnight lycanroc you have to evolve during the evening to midnight. I have both versions of the game, but I'm playing son right now so I have midday. My friend Patrick showed me what the midnight evolution looked and I love both, but I prefer midday A lot more.

It's so cool and cute! I caught a female and named it Staccato A couple of days ago, but didn't get to Evald her until level 32 because I didn't know that she had to revolve during the daytime. Honestly, I think that's a pretty cool mechanic for this Pokémon evolution. Remember having to do that back in gold and silver with eevee in order to evolve it into espeon or umbreon. But anyways! I'm probably going to do a fan art on Staccato because why not? I want to get back into drawing and why not use her as a candidate for motivation and get my imagination back on track? :D most likely it'll be a gijinka.