Love is a fickle thing in life. Life is a fickle thing to love. Here, I express what my life brings to me throughout my existence. Glimpses in the grey area are unfolding and offering you a cup of my reality. Welcome to my life.
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SOME INFO
I've actually been a member since 1/13/09
Name: Shayde
Age: 29
Birthday: 3/14/91 (March 14th, 1991)
Sex: Male
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I AM!!!!!!!
I'm soooo excited to finally get to play these! I've pre ordered and fully payed them off MONTHS AGO and have been anticipating so long afterwards. I haven't used my Limited Edition Pikachu 3DS XL yet because I wanted to wait until X&Y came out. Now it's time to abuse the shit out of it B) JK~~~
I didn't know I would be getting a wall scroll with the games and an extra poster :D~ The wall scroll contained all of the games that was made throughout the years since R/B (Or R/G if you wanna be technical, but it says Blue instead of green so yeah~) And it was on canvas paper~~~ I was just in awe with this thing. Love love love love~<3333
Well, anyways~ Time to go play X first~ :DD
Here's a pic I took of all the stuff I have :3
Why does it always have to get worse when things get better? It's happened every time on my part especially when it's an accident... It's like I honestly don't even mean to and I truly don't, but somehow, whatever the cause is decides to bite me in the ass and make people not trust me is dislike me... Like today.
A person I've known for a while and myself have been fighting on and off for some time now and it's progressively been getting better for a little while. Unfortunately, I had left something up last night and I totally forgot about it. And then I bring them into it, not knowing that it was there and they get super pissed at me... And I try telling them it was an accident and I honestly meant it that it was an accident, but they don't believe me and I lose their trust... The only thing i truly regret was making a joke about it, because we were having such a good and I didn't want it to be ruined...
I really don't know what to do. I mean if it was on purpose I would know what to do, but this really was an accident and I typically don't do things on purpose to people, unless I really dislike them. So, I'm just lost... I really don't know how to fix an unintended accident... And it's worrying me to all hell... *sigh* I wish I knew what to do... :(
I don't know what to do.... I'm probably about to lose someone that I really really care about.... I'm trying to act mature about it, but deep inside I really just want to cry like a fountain..... My stomach's turning inside out and my throat's choking up to the point that I can't breathe easily.... I have to put on a mask around everyone else just to fake sanity.
I've been trying better for this person and being supportive on what they want and such, but in their eyes it's like I'm doing nothing for them. And now they might get rid of the bond we have... I really am doing the best that I can. They say I'm not like my old self, and I know I'm not. I try to be, but I just can't when they get mad at me and such. Instead I curl up in a ball, on the inside, and cry. I really care for them and I don't wanna lose them. :(
I just don't know what to do in situations like this. I don't know what to do or say when we fight. I was taught to not do anything and let it calm down, but it doesn't calm down until something horrendous is said to the point that one of us breaks... I'm doing my best to keep calm right now, but I really just wanna rip my face off.
I mean I get that it's my fault at times and I should be the one to fix it, right? But what do I do when you're fixing style just doesn't work? You do what they want when they want it fixed, but sometimes they change their mind and want it a different way, which makes them even madder at you. So it's like how are you suppose to know that? You don't. And it sucks because they expect you to know, but in all honesty, you don't know because you didn't notice. So the guilt falls on you even more... In my case, The guilt not only falls on me, but it makes me feel even MORE worthless and not capable of doing anything.
Sometimes I just wanna die. Of course, I'm not really ever going to commit suicide, but the thought of wanting to be dead lingers at times. When that happens, I just shut myself down and act all bland and boring until it goes away.
I really want to do better, but I don't know where to start and I'm afraid of what the outcome might be when I try... :(
*sighs* I'm just gonna go ride my bike to help calm myself down and think more clearly.
Aujourd'hui, nous avons ete ensemble pendant quatorze mois~ I know there's suppose to be accents over both "e"s in ete, but I don't know how to do that on the keyboard lol So! Today strikes the 14th month imouto and I have been together. We've come a long way and hopefully we'll go even further in the months and years. ^^ *hugs and kisses imouto* I love you, imouto. I really do.
Lates, everyone~
