It's practically useless to try and be who you used to be. Once you lose everything, it's gone. Is there really a point to try and regain it when you know it's highly impossible? I've tried several times, but gained nothing. Why? There are some things that stay, things that forget you and things that whither away or leave. The things I had lost progressively over the passed several months fall under the second and third category. As funny as it sounds, I'm envious of trees. Because in summer they start off looking amazing with their leaves. Then, autumn strikes and the tree slowly loses its leaves starting to leave it bare. Winter hits and the tree is left with nothing but the bark surrounding it. But eventually, spring comes along and it slowly progresses into becoming that beautiful tree it was previous summer.
I wish I was able to hold on to the people I talked to and my friends, but they either left or just forgotten about me. Believe me when I say I know what it really feels like to be alone throughout your childhood. Yeah, I had my parents, but were not talking about them right now. And I'm sure there are people out there who have had it worse. But when you've experienced gaining friendship, knowing the fact that you are well-known, you just don't wanna let go of that.
I'm really glad I have my girlfriend and that we've known each other these passed three years. And even though we get into some hardships and fights (like the majority of couples in the world), I really cherish her and love her with all my heart. Unfortunately, the thought of losing her because of something still lingers. The worry feeling will always be there, but I trust her and I'm sure she trusts me to where the worrying feeling can be placed aside.

Just remember, whoever is reading this, if you having something or things that make you happy, make sure you hold on to them. Because if you don't, it'll hurt you.