I've been getting better at masking my feelings and depression, but it's only seldom that it actually works throughout the day. Like yesterday. My mask completely disappeared and I had to get out of the house. I met up with a couple of people I know and drank until it was like 2 in the morning pretty much. Yeah, yesterday was a very very bad day for me. I was hoping I'd get alcohol poisoning or something, I was that dead. I had to be driven home because I was that out of it. Fucking crying, fucking wanting to just give up on the world, I couldn't take it... But today, I was able to fix that mask, act like nothing is wrong, hanging out with a couple of friends, hope that tomorrow will be ok.