You know, I spent yesterday doing a lot of thinking... A LOT of thinking... I actually got a small headache after a while. But, there's things that need to be said and so I'm going to say it.
First off, I have an apology I would like to announce to the people that actually read what I say on here. I'm sorry if I have brought any of you down over the past few months, whether it being that your day was ruined or stressed you out from hearing someone else's stress. I will admit I have severely been down and close to creating or have created suicidal tendencies, but nobody wants to be around that. I have had very little help with obtaining a coping mechanism, but I do appreciate the people who have tried to find one with me. You guys are great.
Second off, I want to apologies to my ex. I don't know if she will see this, but at least it'll be here to read if she does. So, here I go.
Hey.
If you see this, then that's good. If you don't, well at least it's off my chest now. I want to say how sorry I am for not being a good boyfriend to you especially while you were here. I did try my best, but the conflictions we had got the best of both of us. I did read your most recent post and, yeah, it would've been a year yesterday. I remember picking you up that day and being super nervous. After all, we were officially living together so how could someone not be nervous? It really was an awesome day to arrive at the airport and see you there, leaving and having you sit next to me in the car as we headed out.
You know, I still miss us... I know you're probably tired of hearing that or even thinking about it, but I do miss us. Hell, even after the whole break up and us just talking and goofing off on here, I miss that, too. I still wish that I could've had that chance I wanted. I'm sure it would've been different; I was so dedicated to become a better individual in your eyes. Heh... I guess that'd never happen anyways... I let love get the best of me and it just pushed you away further... I still don't plan on dating anyone else, like that really even matters at this point, but I guess that's just more of a personal thing now.
I'm also sorry about my previous post that you took offense to. I can see how that would come off offensive, but I honestly wasn't expecting you to get offended by it since you should know how my mind works and how I saw you more than just your ethnicity. And no it wasn't a jab at Mexicans or anything like that. Again, like I said before, it really was more of a compliment. You are a beautiful lunatic and no one could be better at that than you. So, please understand that I meant no offense to you, your family or your ethnicity. Hell your family, even though you say they are crazy, sound cool and I wish I could have met more of them. Yes, even your step-father who wasn't much into me to begin with, seemed like he would've been enjoyable to talk to if he actually gave me that chance. But it doesn't really matter now. Anyways, I'm sorry for everything old and recent that has happened.
And third off, I would like to say that after this post, I am going on hiatus from this site. I don't have any reason to come here anymore after losing contact.. literally the majority of the reason I came on here, besides posting, was to talk to my ex, but that's not really a thing anymore. I don't know if it will be a permanent hiatus or if it'll just be a few weeks. But if it helps people from not getting stressed out, then why should I continue to stay? This site was like my second home for the longest time, all the way back to '09. As of right now, I have no reason to really come here, I have no reason to call it a home, unless something gives me a reason to. But that most likely may not happen. I might check every now and then to see if something popped up or whatever, but I most likely will not be posting here.
It was fun, but until further notice, this is me... signing out...
