Here I was thinking it was over. I thought I had gotten over it all, pushed my life toward a bit, been enjoying myself for the most part. But guess what decided to come back~~ you guessed It! Depression. And guess what's always lingering with Depression! Emotions. Guess what revolves around emotions! Feelings. Guess what I FUCKING HAVE TO DEAL WITH AGAIN!! Feelings for my ex!!! Why?! Why depression?! Why you gotta do this to me??? I thought I was over her. I felt like I was sooooooooooo close to moving on, but then THIS! *points at depression* This smug-looking, natural trollgasm, shit-stain of a disease decides it wants to fuck me up... AGAIN! How am I supposed to alleviate It? I can't. I can't! Medication doesn't work for me, it only influences the depression even more. Therapy didn't work last time I went and I highly doubt it will now. Trust me, if I had the courage to actually shoot myself, I'd been dead years ago. Ugh, it'd be much easier if everything we're how it used to be. At least I wouldn't have to be dealing with these dramatic emotional pop ups. And I'm being respectable with her new relationship and not pushing myself into it. I mean if something happens in the future, great. If not, then it doesn't happen. Nothing I can do about that. I just wish my depression would stop fondling my heart with these old memories and etc.