well idk what to do right now things are turning to shit and i know i can't kill myself because of it i feel i might as well drink till i can't feel anything anymore i'm losing everything just when i thought i was doing good i lose the only thing worth living for but i'm sure i would be hurt more if i hurt her so i'm going to stay alive but if i don't talk if i just stay quiet every time you say something just know its because idk what to say or do i'm sorry but i don't think i will ever get over this pain so please forgive me if i don't respond right away.........