The following will contain profanity.
It has also come to my attention that I have a massive ego that clashes with other peoples massive egos. If you have one, it may be comforting to know beforehand that I am always right.
Clearly this is an inconvenient flaw in my personality. The God's that be laughed when they created me.
However, I can admit my faults, therefore, I am not the system's bitch and eternally awesome.
CoDy
Funny story.
I watch a movie every night.
I'm making it a regular thing so I can see a bunch and thus grasp cultural references relevant to my field of study, that being film.
my point.
I'm fucking... ah. Fuck this shit.
I've seen a hand full of movies I wanted to see, the rest were suggested for me by friends and such as things I should see. Example, I just finished watching "The Shawshank Redemption".
Now.....
Donnie Darko.
Fuck no, save me now.
I do know the cult status of this film, and I realize yes, its probably great, but slow? Ridicules? Yes please. I can't take that form of mental film torture, it brings back haunting memories of Charlie Chaplin and "Citizen Kane" flicks... man... dying inside right now...
Yeah, so, my point here that I originally came to make was I watched "High School Musical". I plan to watch 2 and 3 sometime soon. I'm also going to catch "Twilight" when it comes out.
Why?
Because.
Not like I'm paying for it, and I'm learning plenty of things from this. Maybe these things I bash are somewhat good! Regardless, my soul will be ever pleased upon viewing of "Quantum of Solace" and I promise to actually write a meaningful review of how mother fucking kick ass its going to be.
Yeah bitches!
Cody is crankin' out her opinion tonight!
CoDy
Wanted
So, I promised the eyes on the internet a review of Wanted, and thus, I am writing it, only 5 minutes after watching it.
"What the fuck have you done lately?"
This movie had some of the most creative character commentary since Fight Club. Wesley, our lead, has one fucked up sense of humor, and how he dictates his life is quite comical. Okay, so that's good, but let's face it, other than that, the script of this film blows.
Wesley has the worst dialog of anyone. At the end when he is on the hunt for Sloan, his constant screaming for him in giant rooms gets really old. You're a fucking assassin dude, act like it, don't give your position away by standing in the middle of a two story room and yell for the guy you're after. Fuck. Once he has been trained, Wesley constantly makes the statement "this is what you trained me for!" and yeah, everyone fucking knows that dick head! Stop saying it every time you don't get what you want!!! The last group of idiotic things that come from his mouth include all his hesitations to training. Stop being such a pussy man, if they say shoot the wings off a fly, then fucking try, don't bitch about it! Some guy handed you a gun and asked you to do something cool.
Okay, the worst part of the movie was when Wesley went ape shit to kill Sloan. Since when does he get to be a badass? Oh wait, no, back up, since he went off to kill his father Cross (unknowingly), was he a badass. Its like he magically gets these wicked ass kicking skills just because. I think it's to try and make his character look cool beside Fox and Cross, who both own hardcore. regardless, he looks like a fucking retard, and is WAY to intense with everything. How come a guy who has been an assassin for 6 weeks can kick all the combined asses of the entire Fraternity in one go? You guys suck. Its like when Batman ass rapes all the ninjas in Batman Begins after having just completed his training. The realism in action movies is slipping.
So I'm sure you're like "Cody, who the fuck are all these people you're talking about? What is the Fraternity?" well don't shit your pants kids, I was getting to that. The Fraternity is a group of assassins who kill people to balance society or some gay shit like that. Fox is a member (Angelina Jolie bitches!), she trains Wesley, the protagonist, and later tries to kill him. Cross is Wesley's father, but he is tricked into thinking he is a bad guy by Sloan, the leader of the Fraternity. He an asshole. Now you all know, so pay attention here.
"Six weeks ago I was ordinary and pathetic, just like you."
Ha! I loved that line.
Anyway, what was cool about this movie? The fucking action! Two cases of cars flipping upside down and kicking ass. Wesley shooting out the train window and falling into a pool of water in a canyon. The bullets connecting and deflecting each other six billion times. Basically everything that Angelina Jolie does. She's awesome. The action makes this movie, and its intense. That and the exploding mice. The technology they introduce is really cool too, like the baths that super heal wounds and that adrenalin effect that makes things appear slow because your heart is beating so fast. It makes the story different and very intriguing.
Generally, it was a cool movie. I didn't like Wesley, he was a cock munching pussy who thought he was cool, when in fact, the only time he was cool was when he told off that fat bitch at the office and smoked his best friend in the face with a keyboard. Watch only that scene and you'll be satisfied with the movie. Every scene Jolie was in rocked, especially when she clocked Wesley. haha, he deserved it, dumb prick. That's all I have to say folks. Make an informed decision now, and be sure to wear diapers, we wouldn't want any accidents.
CoDy
I know, I know, I haven't posted dick all up here lately, and in all honesty, I have a slew of new music, movies and games I have interacted with that would make fantastic material, problem is, they are things I greatly enjoyed, like PURE for the Xbox 360, a few new songs from T.I. and the movie "Burn After Reading" to name a few. That's not as much fun as completely trashing something right? But, I am planing on watching "War Inc." and "Wanted" tomorrow, hopefully "Nick and Nora" will be on the internet by the time tomorrow rolls around as well so I can take a few shots at that sure to be comedic masterpiece.
In the meantime, I want you all you go over to my other World, the Chronicles of Cody, and read the latest two posts. My critiques have got nothing on these... well, besides more profanity, but as far as I'm concerned, what I have written in what I'm going to call my new mini-series, "Dear Robert", is gold. Yes I am a comedic person. No, usually not as much so online only because expression is the key to comedy. That being said, I had some people read the first "Dear Robert" letter today and the response was fantastic. Do you and I a favor, go there now, read at least the one from yesterday, which is much shorter and explanatory of what I am going through right now as a human being. Enjoy it like you would a birthday cake you bought at the grocery store just for the sake of doing so.
Love ya
CoDy
I will get around to reviewing Indiana Jones someday, I don't feel like it at the moment and I have to be in a mood to write reviews. That being said, I am particularly pissed off right now so its a good time to review:
General consensus: I enjoyed it.
There were interesting faces in it, a good looking cast, gotta say. That's probably what it's best known for considering it doesn't seem to be super popular.
Produced by the people who made Underworld so its bound to have crazy action, which it did.
My problem wasn't with the fact that the main characters had powers, or the fact that the bad guy was a psychopath, it was the poor screen writing. In most cases it was bullshit, like the final confrontation between lead good guy Caleb and bad guy Chase, Chase threatens the life of Caleb's family, girl and friends and he merely responds, with NO emotion with a simple "I'll never will you my power" all the while the place they are standing is burning, Chase is screaming, and Caleb's girl is practically on fire. Some of the lines where so forced it hurt at times.
The constant ass-kicking of Chase was bull too. This guy just wrecks everyones shit, all the time. I disliked the fact they threw energy balls like Dragon Ball Z, these clear things that looked like bubbles. No one EVER dodged them. Caleb seemed to always be on his back of stomach after getting walloped. He was always thrown into the air, it seemed like both characters had two moves for the 15 minute long battle sequence: bubbles or silly hand movements that send people flying. What's funny about that is during every fight the characters squared off like they were in some martial arts fight but always resorted to bubbles and throwing people in the air.
The final fight was too long.
Get it over with, lets see Caleb kick ass.
Other then those gems, the movie was interesting. I did see a lot of completely useless stuff, parts that seemed there to merely extend the length of the film. The rest of the cast was cool, the stuff they did and the effects were wicked, like the police chase through the woods at night was wicked and hilarious. Everything until the end was well done. The story of the characters powers was believable even.
Soooo.... um, I give it 7 7/11's out of 11. No lol, I suggest it be seen by all who enjoy action movies. I hate witches and crazy power shit, but this was cool, the characters were likable, it was all around a great movie, really under rated.
CoDy
(coming soon, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Fight Club)
I was on Explosm!, hilarious site, reading a little bit of a film review on a piece of shit vampire flick. Soooo I thought hey, I watched Torque the other night! Thats a piece of shit movie!
Actually, it wasnt THAT bad. And excuse my lack of punctuation in this, my lappy is being a prick and I cant turn off the French keyboard functions. My apostrophes look like this -- รจ.... yeah.
So, Torque, a motorcycle movie, about crotch rockets. The basic story behind this is the star, a dude who goes by Ford, has been set up to look like a drug dealer, the FBI are after him, so he peels and goes to Thailand for 6 months. The movie starts with him returning. As it unfolds, we learn that he was looking after two hogs for this piece of shit biker gang, who were actually a crew of drug dealers, and they had stashed a lot of meth I think it was, in the gas tanks of these bikes. Ford found out when they wouldnt start, and so did the FBI. Heres the kicker, the head of the FBI investigation works for the piece of shit biker-drug dealer gang, and the whole movie, he chases Ford impersonating an agent. Well, in the midst of trying to get back his shit, the drug dealing gang sets up Ford to make it look like he killed the little brother of ANOTHER crotch rocket biker gang leader, who then has it out for Ford until he saves his life and they team up to take down the drug gang and the FBI agents motives are revealed.
Good guys win.
This movie has an impressive storyline, very in depth and unexpected ending that ties everything together. It fails miserable in composition and events. The things that happen are so far fetched and retarded, it just ruins the film. Things like driving a motorcycle along a moving train or fighting.... with the bikes and knives, at the same time, at high speed, in a market, are ridicules. They have no place in a bike movie, a movie that has great potential save some credible, talented actors are used, not the crop of nobodys and super poor performing Ice Cube. The expressions, humor and general dialog of every character is so stereotypical of bikers and retarded people with too much money that is also hinders the movies potential.
Torque, good action until the last 20 minutes.
FYI, I loved the evil FBI agent, everything that came out of his mouth was fucking hilarious.
I would watch it again, if it were on TV, as it was during this viewing.
Shit the lead blew chunks! He wasnt good at his job!
CoDy
