Wanted
So, I promised the eyes on the internet a review of Wanted, and thus, I am writing it, only 5 minutes after watching it.
"What the fuck have you done lately?"
This movie had some of the most creative character commentary since Fight Club. Wesley, our lead, has one fucked up sense of humor, and how he dictates his life is quite comical. Okay, so that's good, but let's face it, other than that, the script of this film blows.
Wesley has the worst dialog of anyone. At the end when he is on the hunt for Sloan, his constant screaming for him in giant rooms gets really old. You're a fucking assassin dude, act like it, don't give your position away by standing in the middle of a two story room and yell for the guy you're after. Fuck. Once he has been trained, Wesley constantly makes the statement "this is what you trained me for!" and yeah, everyone fucking knows that dick head! Stop saying it every time you don't get what you want!!! The last group of idiotic things that come from his mouth include all his hesitations to training. Stop being such a pussy man, if they say shoot the wings off a fly, then fucking try, don't bitch about it! Some guy handed you a gun and asked you to do something cool.
Okay, the worst part of the movie was when Wesley went ape shit to kill Sloan. Since when does he get to be a badass? Oh wait, no, back up, since he went off to kill his father Cross (unknowingly), was he a badass. Its like he magically gets these wicked ass kicking skills just because. I think it's to try and make his character look cool beside Fox and Cross, who both own hardcore. regardless, he looks like a fucking retard, and is WAY to intense with everything. How come a guy who has been an assassin for 6 weeks can kick all the combined asses of the entire Fraternity in one go? You guys suck. Its like when Batman ass rapes all the ninjas in Batman Begins after having just completed his training. The realism in action movies is slipping.
So I'm sure you're like "Cody, who the fuck are all these people you're talking about? What is the Fraternity?" well don't shit your pants kids, I was getting to that. The Fraternity is a group of assassins who kill people to balance society or some gay shit like that. Fox is a member (Angelina Jolie bitches!), she trains Wesley, the protagonist, and later tries to kill him. Cross is Wesley's father, but he is tricked into thinking he is a bad guy by Sloan, the leader of the Fraternity. He an asshole. Now you all know, so pay attention here.
"Six weeks ago I was ordinary and pathetic, just like you."
Ha! I loved that line.
Anyway, what was cool about this movie? The fucking action! Two cases of cars flipping upside down and kicking ass. Wesley shooting out the train window and falling into a pool of water in a canyon. The bullets connecting and deflecting each other six billion times. Basically everything that Angelina Jolie does. She's awesome. The action makes this movie, and its intense. That and the exploding mice. The technology they introduce is really cool too, like the baths that super heal wounds and that adrenalin effect that makes things appear slow because your heart is beating so fast. It makes the story different and very intriguing.
Generally, it was a cool movie. I didn't like Wesley, he was a cock munching pussy who thought he was cool, when in fact, the only time he was cool was when he told off that fat bitch at the office and smoked his best friend in the face with a keyboard. Watch only that scene and you'll be satisfied with the movie. Every scene Jolie was in rocked, especially when she clocked Wesley. haha, he deserved it, dumb prick. That's all I have to say folks. Make an informed decision now, and be sure to wear diapers, we wouldn't want any accidents.
CoDy
