Getting Closer?

I curled up beside Ariel to try to get to the bottom of my being stuck for what felt like the millionth time. I was starting to get frustrated that I couldn't change back, and it hadn't even been very long since this all began. Seth said it could take a few months! That was just way too long. I sighed, stressing over it will only make it worse. About that time I heard Ariel whisper, "Asuka, would you mind if I go and talk to Zero?" Her voice caused me to feel less agitated, so I managed a smile as I opened my eyes, "Sure, Ariel, I don't mind." I closed my eyes again and re-focused on the problem at hand. Again, I couldn't help but feel that the problem was Alex. I thought back again to the day he left...[begin flashback]

I was trembling by the time I got to the end of the letter. After all, I was only twelve, and now I was going to be all alone. The tears were welling up in my eyes. "No," I mouthed. I heard a noise coming from his room and jerked my head that direction. Maybe he's just pulling some sort of trick on me. I sprinted to his room and slid to a halt in the doorway. But, he wasn't there. It was just a breeze knocking something over from where he'd left his window open. I shivered, and began searching every corner of the house as if he'd turn up somewhere, like a misplaced sock. But he was gone. Back in the family room I looked at some old photographs of our family. The first one was one of my mother a week or so before I was born, and she died. "Gone," I whispered, "never knew you." Then there was a picture of my father who was frowning at whoever was taking the photo. "Gone," I repeated, "don't remember you." Lastly was a photo of Alex and me. We were wearing our best clothes because we wanted an official-looking "family" portrait of us. He had on a maroon polo and dark jeans and I had on a pale blue sundress and was holding a dandelion he had picked for me. We were both smiling. "Gone," I wimpered, "But you'll be back right?" I began sobbing uncontrolably while hugging our photo. It was just me now. Alone. [End flashback]

Maybe the problem was Alex. But there isn't anything that can be done now to create some closure with him. He left and I haven't seen him since. It's been four years, it's not likely for me to ever see him again unless I find his...grave. Even if he is (it pains me to even think the word) gone, I still wouldn't want his grave to be my closure. Perhaps if I come to terms with the fact that I'll probably never see him again I'll be able to change back into a human. I sure hoped so at least. I'd hate to be stuck this way much longer.

Continue?
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Asuka's stubborn and still doesn't want to share her "past" with the group. But give her a little longer, she'll come around eventually!

End