I have been coming across some quotes from a really popular show that is called Daria, and I realised that the main character is as cynical as one can get. So guess what? I loved it! I don't know why but if something is going totally not the way you planned I think tha best way to deal with it is to be cynical about it!Here are some examples:
You can defend yourself when somebody asks you why you behave the way you do:

Or when people are trying to make you feel bad about eating:

When somebody you despise gets a tattoo:

When somebody lets you down:

Just kidding you should be more like this:

Feel free to tell me about all the experiences that made you want to be cynical and make people hate you!Hahaha have a sense of humor!