I'm getting emotionably stressed and feeling sick a lot now T_T I literally feel like I'm going to barf and it's basically out of guilt and it's KILLING ME! I know it's not any of your faults and I shouldn't be ranting about it but damn I've had this sick feeling for a while whenever something terrible happens.

Like when someone is upset, I'm using all my energy to calm them down and basically feeling sick off of that and get worse if they basically go down lower. Once they were better, I got slightly better... I feel f-ing guilty that I can't help my friends out when I'm not here. And I really feel sick because of the emotional distress of everyone and apparently it affects me a lot...

In fact, I almost threw up just now because I read something that made me not only mad at myself but at a lot of things. I'm an idiot a f-ing idiot and I'm a f-ing hypocrite for telling people not to call themselves idiots but damn it I really feel bad and want to hurt myself T_T I'll probably bite myself again on the vein and cause bruising I don't know... I just need to calm myself down more than what I'm doing because for me I have a lot of issues that have been bottled up in my childhood so I'll have to solve my emotional distress *sighs* Okay, I'm done... And still feel sick... F***

Anyway, while I was gone I had to go shopping with my mom for clothes for school and my brother had to tag along because he won't leave me alone and loves torturing me for some reason (he lays his toys around all over the floor and I stepped on one last night and that caused a burst blood vessel in my foot T_T f*** again). And we had to go to toysRus for my brother's school supplies... and he kept fighting my mom over that... so me and grandma basically left to look at the electronics and found nothing... and then we went back to find them and we found them... and my brother's now obsessed with the movie G Force that's coming out tomorrow... you'd figure I'd want to see it but no... Oh, speaking of movies, I'm going to one with my aunt tomorrow. It's the new horror movie that was almost banned from theatures Orphan.

Then we had to go shopping for clothes... and my brother was not taking it well because he was running around the place like he had ADD and crawiling under their tables too -_-' I was embaressed and since I'm mistaken as his mother a lot, I kept pointing out to people that he was my brother... not my son (and I get mistaken as an adult a lot... it will have its advantages... but also disadvantages like that mistake)... and I found some clothes I liked for school... but I also had to get another bra... I won't tell you how that went because I really don't believe it nor do I want to and some of the people subscribed to me are more than likely boys reading this and I ain't telling you pervs T_T

... I still feel sick... and I might change my avatar to something more depressing than just the blue rose with blood on it...